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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
Worst Gift Archives
May 2002
(can you top this?
- if so, press
here)
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Worst gift: My MIL gave
me a packet of cotton undies with cutesy cartoon characters on them.
I guess that she thought this would turn DH off. I haven't
worn them, and he is still turned on after 7 years!
Signed - No Undies at
All
RESPONSE: No Undies at All
That's so loony, I don't know WHAT to say. I just keep shaking
my head.
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Worst gift: One Christmas,
my ex-MIL sent me a free sample that she had received in the mail.
It was nicely wrapped up. What was it? A MAXI PAD!
Gee, thanks, I'll think of you when I use it! As well, she
sent our daughter one gift for her birthday and Christmas (her birthday
is 2 days before Christmas), and she expected her to be totally
thrilled by the baby clothes and toys that she would send every
year. Didn't she realize that babies actually grow up?
Signed - Sheesh!
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Worst gift: I found
this board yesterday, and I'm so happy to see that I'm not alone.
I was beginning to feel like everything was my fault, until I found
you all. Anyway, as for worst gifts - my MIL is a very self
centered, snooty person, who never puts any thought into the gifts
she buys me. My BIL's girlfriend is the one she caters to.
Two Christmas' ago, I received a pair of pajamas with popcorn boxes
all over them. My MIL must have noticed the look on my face,
and proceeded to tell everyone, "I got those for you because
your DH and DD love to watch movies together." Well,
hello!! That's my DH and DD, not me! What did she get
my BIL's GF? She got a nice watch, and a leather briefcase.
This year topped it. I got a throw for my couch. My
DH got a book and some socks, and my BIL and his GF got tickets
to the Daytona 500!! Give me a break! We always went
overboard with my MIL's gifts, but no more. I've had it!!
Signed - Can't Take It
Anymore!
RESPONSE: Can't Take It Anymore!
I guess it's pretty obvious to you who your MIL's favorite child
is, and it's NOT your DH. I hope he can see that for himself
now, too. How can a mother treat her own child like this?
Beats me, but your DH certainly has my sympathy.
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Worst gift: My MIL acts
like she doesn't care about us. She didn't come to our wedding
(it was a 5 hour drive, but we would have paid for the hotel, and
she knew that). We have never gotten a "congrats"
on our wedding, or for our 2 children. She even would not
come and help us out when DH asked her to (when he had to have back
surgery). OK, that being said, MIL always gives us massive
amounts of money for Christmas, and she gives it to my husband when
I'm out of the room, and no one says anything about it. When
we are together, she gives us a few things. Last Christmas,
in front of me, she gave him some socks and some stocking hangers
for the mantle of our new house. But, when we get in the car,
DH always tells me that she slipped him a wad of cash. I guess
I just find it strange. They aren't well off. Their
house isn't worth over $30,000, and they don't own a car worth more
than $1,000, but she slips DH $600 cash, and gives him a $300 gift
card to a toy store for our son. Plus, she sent our son a
birthday card (his birthday is December 26th) with $150 in it.
HE TURNED 2 - WHAT DOES HE NEED $150 FOR!!!!? The whole thing
makes me so uncomfortable. DH makes at least 3 times as much
as his parents. One more thing - I just had another baby,
and no one said congrats to us, but we did get handed $200.
Signed - Wanting Love
and Respect, Not Money
RESPONSE: Wanting Love and Respect, Not Money
It is hard to figure. Maybe MIL is trying to make up for the
ignoring? Maybe she is trying to buy you folks off?
I would ask her, if you feel like it. Otherwise, bank the
money for your child's college education.
RESPONSE: Wanting Love and Respect, Not Money
Some of us are upset because we do not get anything. Some
are upset because we get too much. I am really confused as
to what is the right thing to do. They are going to look bad
anyway. I think that since she has so little money, and is
still doing that much, it is a good thing. I can also understand
why you are feeling uncomfortable at the same time. I would
too. But, by saying anything, you will hurt their feelings.
Maybe they do not want you to feel that they are giving less because
they have less than you do.
RESPONSE: Wanting Love and Respect, Not Money
I can think of worse things than being slipped a wad of cash.
A two year old may not know what to do with $150, but his mother
would know it's good to start a college fund with. It sounds
to me like your MIL is just a woman who doesn't put importance on
gifts, and perhaps thinks giving money instead will ensure that
you DO get things you need and want. Don't presume by their
home that they aren't "well off". By living below
their means, they are able to give you those wads of cash.
RESPONSE: Wanting Love and Respect, Not Money
This might be the way that she is expressing her love and respect.
She is willing to sacrifice (you said she has less than you), and
provide you with what she can. $150 for a baby can go into
a college fund, as can all of the cash that she hands your husband.
I would thank her if I were you. Monetary gifts are not unusual.
RESPONSE: Wanting Love and Respect, Not Money
It sounds like your MIL at least is trying to show good will towards
you, in the only way she seems to know how. Maybe she's not
perfect, but if my in-laws did that (and weren't mean to me in any
other way), I'd think they were trying to be nice.
RESPONSE: Wanting Love and Respect, Not Money
Maybe they just saved up their money, and they would rather give
you cash than spend it on something that they think you may want.
It is rather strange that they have a cr@ppy car and live the way
they do, but always have the big bucks for the occasions.
My parents have never made as much money as I do. The two
of them together have never made as much money as me. They
always have had a decent place to live, and my mother loves shopping
at yard sales, etc., looking for treasures. On the other hand,
my DH's parents make good money, and are both college educated.
DH flat out refused to ask his parents for $1,500 for closing on
our new house (we got all of it back at closing, so we could give
it right back to them). But, it was no problem for my parents.
My parents have money in their socks. They have saved everything,
since they never made great amounts of money. And, they are
slowly giving it to me and my sister, in small amounts. They
said, "Never mind about giving us back the $1,500."
But, I don't think his parents have $1,500 laying around to loan
out, let alone to give flat out to us. I guess the more you
make, the more you spend. My mom is so frugal. And,
I am thinking that maybe your MIL is the same way. My mom
will usually get me something like a nightgown and bath soap for
Xmas, and my DH gets nuts and golf balls, or something, and each
of our kids gets a toy. Then, she will send a card with money
in it. The gift is just a thing to say, "I wanted to
send something, but get what you really want with this."
I hope this helps you. I usually blow off the gift and get
right to the money. But, it is my mom, so I can do that.
I know I hear about the NUTS for my DH before they even get here.
I feel that it is the thought that counts, and you can get something
that you want with the cash. NO BIG DEAL, right?
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Worst gift: What is
it with MILs who are so thoughtless when giving gifts to their grandchildren????
My MIL gave my daughter a cute dress when she was 9 months old.
She NEVER told me that the dress was a hand-me-down, and I didn't
think anything about the dress not having a tag on it (sometimes
the tags fall off, right?). I thanked her for thinking of
my daughter (I was pleasantly surprised at her thoughtfulness, because
my MIL had been against my husband and I marrying, because we are
different races, and said she didn't want "slanty-eyed grandkids"),
and I even sent her a thank-you note for the dress. Well,
imagine my SHOCK when, two months later, I was going through the
family photo album and I saw an old picture of my husband's niece
wearing that EXACT same dress - that picture was about 8 years old,
and the niece was about the same age as my daughter was then - so
the dress was about the same size!!!!!!!!! There is NO WAY
that my MIL had just happened to buy the exact same dress in the
same size, 8 years later!!!!! I would not have minded my daughter
wearing a hand-me-down dress at all. It was a cute dress,
and it was in great condition - but why did my MIL knowingly pass
the dress off as new?? That is the part that got me MAD!!!
I know my husband's sister gave a box of her daughter's old baby
clothes to my husband's other sister (who had a daughter the same
age as mine), and then that dress got tossed aside, because my stupid
SIL is so into her color scheme that she wouldn't allow her fair-haired
daughter to wear it, so they decided to pass that one dress off
to my daughter. Yes, they thought of my daughter (the one
time they have!!!), but, then, my stupid MIL tried to pass the dress
off as new to me!!! I have saved that dress to this day (my
daughter is now 10), just as a reminder of how awful my MIL is!!
Of course, this is only ONE of many stupid, thoughtless things she
has done!
Signed - I Kid You Not
- My MIL Thinks She Is Jackie O.
RESPONSE From Poster: I Kid You Not - My MIL Thinks
She Is Jackie O.
I am the original poster of this story. I just wanted to add
that my DH eventually confronted my MIL about how she tried to pass
the dress off as new. She had NOTHING to say. She didn't
deny it at all, but she didn't apologize either! I think she
was TOTALLY embarrassed that she had been caught!! She had
not known that my husband's oldest sister had sent us a picture
of his niece wearing that dress - so I am sure she must have flipped
out when she realized we had caught her in a big lie. Again,
I have NOTHING against hand-me-downs (in fact, I wish my husband's
oldest sister would think of us enough to have given us hand-me-downs
over the years), but it just made me mad how my MIL tried to pass
the dress off as new and never said word one to me - and, I had
even gone so far as to write her a thank-you card for the dress!!
RESPONSE: I Kid You Not - My MIL Thinks She Is Jackie
O.
After reading your post, I really can't believe that you saved the
dress. So your MIL gave you a dress that used to be your niece's.
She passed it off as new. And you're more upset about this
than the fact that she told you she "didn't want slanty-eyed
grandkids"? I guess I think the dress is a nice gift,
and your MIL is just a witch.
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Worst gift: One year
at Christmas time, my monster-in-law asked me what my husband needed
for Christmas. I told her that he was in desperate need of
new clothing. On Christmas day, my husband opened his gift
from his mother. When he unwrapped the gift, he held up a
black t-shirt with white letters inscribed reading "Beware
of all enterprises that require new clothing".
Signed - Beware
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Worst gift: My MIL once
gave me a sexy nightgown (from a well known lingerie store) for
my birthday, so that her son could have some fun. Yuck, I
immediately exchanged that. Who wants to think about their
MIL while in the bedroom!!!!?
Signed - Sheesh!
RESPONSE: Sheesh!
What a sick woman.
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Worst gift: My MIL gave
me a toothbrush, toilet tissue, and a broom. She said she
gave me the toothbrush because it doesn't make any sense for my
teeth to have that much butter on them. She gave the toilet
tissue because she says that my daughter doesn't wipe too well,
and this should help, since it is softer. My daughter is only
2. And, she gave the broom because my house stays dirty, so
I should sweep more often. Ha, ha, ha, ha. My house
is always clean. Her house is the one that stays dirty.
I mean, can you believe this? Oh, yeah, for our wedding gift,
she got my husband a suit, and she got me some loud, lime green
socks with matching hair bows.
Signed - MRS. DIRTY-HOUSE
RESPONSE: MRS. DIRTY-HOUSE
Did you get married when you were 5? Geez, socks with matching
hair bows!
RESPONSE: MRS. DIRTY-HOUSE
She sounds like a real witch. But I will give her this, she
is far more creative than my MIL.
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Worst gift: Many years
ago, I gave my ex-boyfriend's mother a very nice plush robe, and
her favorite perfume gift set. I took a lot of time picking
out her gifts. Her church was selling small stuffed animals
(like the ones in those amusement park booths that have the little
crane that lifts the prize out). That's what I received from
her. And, she didn't even bother to wrap it.
Signed - Not Amused With
Amusement Toys
RESPONSE: Not Amused With Amusement Toys
What a lame-o. For the next gift-giving occasion, give HER
that cr@ppy stuffed animal, without wrapping paper.
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Worst gift: I can top
all of those gifts. I got nothing for Christmas, nothing for
my birthday, and nothing for any occasion whatsoever. I have
been with her son for three years. She tells me to come over
so she can give me a gift, but she never has anything for me.
She is evil. She even asked me to bring my own sandwich to
a party that she was having.
Signed - Deli-hater
RESPONSE: Deli-hater
Next time she tells you to bring your own sandwich, bring a lovely
tray of tea sandwiches. All her guests will ooh and aah.
And, if she is stupid enough to say that she told you to bring YOUR
OWN, everyone will see what a witch she really is! It's a
win, win situation!
RESPONSE: Deli-hater
It sounds like my MIL while my DH and I were dating. You are
not alone.
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Worst gift: My husband
and I shared our first Christmas together in 1997. We each
have a daughter from a previous marriage, and we were looking forward
to spending our first big holiday together as a family. We
all planned to meet at my husbands aunt's home (she is a great person!).
Her sister, my MIL, is a major psycho flake (that's a whole other
story). First of all, she showed up 3 hours late, having just
started her Christmas shopping 2 hours ago. She can't go anywhere
on time, since she must make an "entrance" to make sure
that all eyes are on her. She comes in dressed like a hooker
(she's 49, has had 5 boob jobs, and has her bellybutton pierced
- ok if you can pull it off, but she cant!), with gifts in various
store bags, not wrapped, with tags still on them. My stepdaughter
was 5 at the time, and received about 15 pretty nice gifts (a fur
cape with matching muffler, dress up jewelry, barbie dolls, etc.)!
When the time came to give my daughter her gift (she was 3), she
handed her a box of old, ugly, USED hair bows that were made for
an adult (hair was caught in the barrettes - MIL's hair, by the
way). That was it! Thank God my daughter wasn't old
enough to be concerned with what she received. But, pleassssseee!!!
No thanks! My poor husband was so embarrassed! Not to
be cr@ppy, but come on! How about at least a coloring book,
or a stuffed animal?? The best came when she gave me my gift!
It was a child's purse! No joke! It still had the 70%
off tag on it, as well as the price tag ($2.99 before the discount!).
I could not believe it! At least she could have given my daughter
the kid's purse, and me the old crummy hair bows! Luckily,
because of her schizo personal life, she didn't show up for Christmas
of 1998. And, in 1999, she sent her presents with her daughter,
and gave one to everyone BUT me. No loss. We moved out
of state in 2000. She sent presents to the girls, but nothing
for myself or her son. For the Christmas of 2001, she didn't
even send anything for the girls - she said her personal life was
too busy right now. Whatever! I can't tell you how happy
I am that we moved!!
Signed - MIL Thinks She's
A Spice Girl
RESPONSE: MIL Thinks She's A Spice Girl
I am so glad that you are away from MIL! It sounds like you
need the distance to shield your kids from her hurtful antics.
Have you tried explaining to them that grandmother is not always
sure of what she's doing (i.e., she's nuts)? Good luck!
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Worst gift: At my bridal
shower, my MIL had given us a card that we opened after all our
other gifts. The gift was rather large, and was to be delivered
to our home later, thus the card. I had my DF read the card,
because it was in our parents' native language ( I am fluent, but
can't read her scribbles). He read that his parents had purchased
the surround sound speakers, stereo, TV, etc., for our home (WOW).
While he was reading the card, he said, "All the speakers,
surround sound, TV AND our new home." I quickly added
in, "Wow, all the stereo (etc.) FOR our home!", thinking
that what he had read was a mistake. I grabbed the card after,
and made out (in her chicken scratch) just what he had said.
His parents had helped us with our down payment for our home with
the money from his (DF's) paycheck (family business) that they had
saved, while he never saw a penny from age 15 to 23. While
this was a very smart, thoughtful, and generous thing for them to
do, she tried to make it seem like our home was a gift from them
- in front of our 100 close friends and relatives. Imagine
my embarrassment when I was explaining to all of my friends, and
my side of the family, that our home was not a gift. She purposely
asked us to read the card out loud that day. My poor mother
was more mortified than I was. To this day, over two years
later, I still hear comments from people about my HUGE wedding shower
gift. I make it very clear that we bought our home, pay our
mortgage, and made our down payment because my husband is a very
hard worker, and was not a spoiled adolescent. Am I being
petty, crazy, or too sensitive to all of this? My MIL drives
me so crazy, but every time I write out one of my stories to post
here, it sounds so stupid to me. Maybe I'm making too much
of her actions?
Signed - MIL's "Now
I Have A Daughter of My Own"
RESPONSE: MIL's "Now I Have A Daughter of My Own"
You are in NO way making too much out of this! How dare they:
A) Tell your business to everyone that way. B) Make it seem
like they gave you EVERYTHING you own. I probably would have
never spoken to them again after that. That was done to show
you up, and there was no need for that. That is why it's bad
to take things from ILs like them. It is too late now, though.
What a b!tch!
RESPONSE: MIL's "Now I Have A Daughter of My Own"
You're not silly. Your MIL is crazy. She should have
more respect for you and your DH. Although it was thoughtful
of them to save money for DH for your down payment, the two of you
acknowledged this and were grateful. It is rude for them to
take credit for the entire house, which you work hard to pay the
mortgage on.
RESPONSE: MIL's "Now I Have A Daughter of My Own"
People are idiots. Just ignore them. Who cares what
others think about your home. Relax and laugh it off.
You will find that it will bring less stress in your life.
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Worst gift: My MIL once
gave me her "fat clothes" when I was pregnant. She
brought them over and said, "I think you should be able to
wear these." She totally ignored the fact that she is
almost a foot shorter than I was, and that I weighed almost the
same at the time. I was too stunned to say anything.
They went in the trash, and then I cleaned out the refrigerator.
When I miscarried, she wanted the clothes back. I told her
that I gave them away, that they just didn't fit me right.
Signed - Not Short or
Fat
RESPONSE: Not Short or Fat
Let me tell you that we are not here to please MIL. And, I
know that every woman has this very same problem. So, do what
you do best, and continue that, because you are going to be "you",
no matter what happens.
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Worst gift: My MIL has
gone from a size 8, to a size 4, in 3 years. Always the fashionable
type, she has offered her clothes to me, which were just from the
previous catalog. There was no problem, until I had her first
grandchild. She thinks she's too young to be a grandmother
anyway. I had a tough time to begin with, and had to be on
bed-rest the last few weeks. That took me to a size 10, I'm
not complaining. For Christmas, she gave me a new sweater
that was a size 3. Then, she told me that if it didn't fit,
she would keep it and give me $20 to choose something for myself.
Since when can you buy a nice shirt for $20???
Signed - Still Mystified
RESPONSE: Still Mystified
How about getting one of the items from the MIL Mall on this site?
Wouldn't you just love to show it off to Your MIL?
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Worst gift: When DH
and I married, MIL/FIL gave us $100. One week later, on girlfriend
of BIL's birthday, she was presented with a check for $500.
I don't care about the money, it was the symbolism that got me.
That Christmas, I was given a $20 gift certificate to a discount
department store, while BIL's girlfriend was given a vacuum cleaner,
new dishes, silverware for her home, and $300 to help her with her
child from another man. Not that I care about the money, again,
the symbolism got me. MIL gave me lingerie with a note saying,
"Maybe you can get pregnant in this". My husband
and I have been trying to get pregnant for four years. We
go to professional fertility counselors. I guess I felt like
she was insinuating that it was my lack of being attractive to my
husband that is the problem. My husband helped me make the
bonfire for that one. We used it to decorate our Yule log
- with the tags still attached. P.S. I Don't Like Her
Either.
Signed - Enough Symbolism
- I'm Getting the Hint
RESPONSE: Enough Symbolism - I'm Getting the Hint
This happens to me too - it is hurtful, and I dread Christmas, especially
as this year I have to spend it with the ice queen! Well,
all I can say is that every time I am treated as "an unimportant
person, who has no feelings", I just think "NURSING HOME
FOR YOU!!"
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Worst gift: A book entitled,
"How to Read and Why", for my thirtieth birthday.
I have expressed several times that we borrow books and read publications
at the library because our apartment is too small to store books
and periodicals, which my husband can't part with. When they
ask what we would like, we say, "no books or periodicals, please."
And then we suggest things that we do need, or we refer them to
our bridal registry. So, of course, 90% of their gifts are
books and periodicals (which we like to read, but don't have room
for). I decided to have a sense of humor about it and join
in the fun by giving my atheist FIL the book, "Was Darwin Right?"
He was too disturbed to finish reading it, but that didn't stop
him from angry criticism. The second worst gift would be a
popcorn bowl and movie book since they know I'm deathly allergic
to corn, I got 20 bowls for wedding presents, and don't care much
for movies. It is a lovely bowl and a fun idea, but it takes
up 4 square feet and has never been used. I got her a bottle
of "Gloom Away" bubble bath to make her feel better, in
light of her infernal complaints and guilt trips about how we just
don't spend enough time and attention on them (six weeks a year
is not enough). She informed me later that she was allergic
to bubble bath, so I guess we're even. Most of their gifts
have been very nice. But the most insidious is that when we
don't go home for Christmas Day (even if we visited just before
or after, bearing expensive gifts), they don't give us the $1000
they give to their other children (who don't have to spend $1000
traveling to have a bad time with them). And they wonder why
we don't visit more?
Signed - Illiterately
Yours
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Worst gift: My MIL loves
going to the local thrift shop. She made me a gift of a container
of dried hot pepper flakes. It had been opened, and all but
one inch in the bottom of the container was used.
Signed - Long-suffering
DIL
RESPONSE: Long-suffering DIL
Puh-leeeese! That had to be an insult. From now on,
let DH buy gifts for her, from HIM. Leave your name off of
the gift tag. If she improves, you could give her gifts again.
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Worst gift: Two years
ago my MIL gave my 7 year old son a block of cheese for his birthday.
The price of the cheese was $5.69. That was the only thing
he got from her. The next year he got 2 bed pillows.
She has so much money, and I don't understand why she buys the things
she does. For Christmas, I get things from the dollar store,
and gifts that other people gave her the year before. This
year I got a VERY dirty, old, greasy cartoon character stained glass
pitcher that had been sitting on top of the refrigerator.
How can I get her to stop? I even tell her what the kids would
want.
Signed - Very Cheap Gifts
RESPONSE: Very Cheap Gifts
Put it all in a gift bag, and give it back to her on Mother's Day.
ROFLMAO.
RESPONSE: Very Cheap Gifts
Do you think the woman has all her marbles? Not to be disrespectful,
but this stuff is so weird that I wonder if she is deteriorating
mentally. Good luck!
RESPONSE: Very Cheap Gifts
I would have made MIL a cheese sandwich, using the block of cheese,
and then I would have saved it in the freezer to give to her for
Christmas. What a heartless witch!! Maybe you should
save everything she gives you guys in a huge storage container,
and just give it all back to her. Add a nice big red ribbon
on top. It's a shame that she disrespects you and your son
that way. I sure wouldn't spend a dime on her. She's
just mean.
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Worst gift: Christmas,
1999, my husband and I had been married for 9 months. We gathered
around the tree, and MIL began passing out presents. She handed
me a nicely wrapped box. I opened it, and inside I found COLD
CREAM!! I did not know whether to laugh or cry! She
kept repeating that her mother swears by it. I was 24 at this
time. Do I really need to use the same remedy that her 80
year old mother uses?? Good Grief! Of course, everyone
else (all her children, I am the only "outsider"), received
lovely gifts. And I just sat and watched everyone open theirs!!
Signed - She's My Monster-In-Law
RESPONSE: She's My Monster-In-Law
To be fair, my own mother used to get me to smear cold cream on
my face at age 12! The old-school moms think this is the way
to keep skin youthful. Maybe she cares for you a little bit.
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Worst gift: I have been
married to my husband for 3 years, and we are very happy together.
We don't have kids yet, but we do want them in a few years.
I'm 27 and he's 28, so it's not like it is now or never. My
MIL is always asking when we're going to get her some more grandkids.
For Christmas last year, MIL gave me a trashy lingerie teddy.
It was not something nice, but it was discount store quality, and
trailer trash style. She enclosed a note, and made the remark,
when I unwrapped it, that maybe this would help get her some grandkids,
since, obviously, I was not working on it. His whole family
was there, and I was tremendously embarrassed. I could not
say anything other than a polite "thanks". My SIL
noticed that, about twenty minutes later, I was "still a little
red in the checks", and that it was OK. This was no longer
from being embarrassed - it was RAGE. I spent most of the
day in a back bedroom with a headache, not entirely untrue.
I left the present at her home on "accident". She
mailed it to me the next day. I don't know anyone trashy enough
to give it to, so I threw it out. My husband explained to
her how this had hurt my feeling, but she just dismissed how I felt,
and said that there must be some reason why I was not pregnant yet.
I don't want to explain to her that it's called "birth control",
not celibacy. It has been over four months, and I'm still
mad. I have not spoken to her since, except to hand the phone
to my husband when she calls. Her gift told me that she considers
me needing help to entice her son (I don't). Second, this
"gift" had no thought, is cheap, and the motive is for
her benefit. I have a nice collection of lingerie that works
very well, and I'm built very nicely, so I don't need help in getting
him interested. Third, it's none of her damn business when
we have kids. I've since found out that both my MIL and SIL
were pregnant when they got married. My inclination is to
send her a vibrator next year, and let her open it in front of the
family. But, I don't want to hurt my husband. I hope
my husband inherited more from his late father that his mother.
Now, I see my late FIL took the easy way out.
Signed - Classy Lady
in the South
RESPONSE: Classy Lady in the South
Well, you have my sympathy and commiseration. Have you seen
the posts by some of us who wrote in (apparently this is a common
thing!) about our MILs who gave us their own sleazy "honeymoon"
lingerie? Mine was one of those MILs. She coyly gave
me this utterly cheap dime store negligee that she had worn on her
honeymoon, saying, "I don't know if this would fit YOU.
I was VERY SLIM." I am not heavy; and she's twice my
size! I THOUGHT, but didn't say, "That's ok. I
usually like my clothes in nicer fabrics." Why do MILs
think they have to give us lingerie (especially their own old, tacky
lingerie)? As one poster just wrote a few days ago, who wants
to think of her MIL (YUCK!!) in the BEDROOM? I was very annoyed
with your MIL, reading your post - how irritating. This is
one way not to endear yourself to your DIL (if you are a MIL)!
RESPONSE: Classy Lady in the South
How awful! I am glad to hear that DH called MIL on her despicable
gift. However, please don't send her a nasty gift as revenge.
I think you are half-kidding anyway! Hang in there.
RESPONSE: Classy Lady in the South
You are not alone out there! My FMIL and FFIL are of the same
stock as your MIL. My fiancé and I have been constantly
badgered by them about having children, since six months after we
met. I was still in college then, but that did not seem to
be a problem to them. My fiancé had his degree (and
I should only be thankful if he supported me)! A degree and
a job for me was just a waste, in their opinion. We do not
want children at all, and we both agree upon that decision.
Never once have they asked us if we WANT, or whether we are ABLE
TO have children at all. They just ask us WHEN, and keep slipping
us slimy comments about it. I have been asked by my FFIL to
pull up my shirt for them to inspect my stomach (at one time, they
felt that it must be time for me to be pregnant). FMIL constantly
asks, "Isn't your tummy getting rounder?" I am NOT
fat (some people would even say I am underweight), and we happen
to live in a cold country where sweaters are worn most of the year
(which should account for some "roundness" of shape in
everyone). Several times she has asked me (like she has forgotten),
"How OLD are you, again?", to remind me that it is time
to get pregnant. I was born in the same year as one of her
sons, so why is that so hard to remember? When I answer, she
says, "MY, you are so OLD. How about that!"
And FFIL chimes in with, "What an old HAG!" (I was 28-31
years old at these occasions). FMIL has asked her friends
to help with the nagging (and they do, believe me!). At a
huge birthday party in the family, 80(!) of their friends and relatives
sang songs about how FMIL and FFIL were now only waiting for a grandchild
(and everyone was looking at my fiancé and me). When
I got a job, FMIL expressed hopes that I would soon be unemployed
(to start breeding, of course). She points at children coming
by and says, "Look at that one closely. We want one of
those!" One year, I got a card with a baby on it for
Valentine's Day! No, FMIL is not the sentimental kind who
usually sends Valentine's day cards to anyone. But I suppose
that she couldn't resist when she found that one. FMIL and
FFIL keep bringing my fiancé's old toys whenever they visit,
just to remind us of our "duties". I AM NOT THEIR
BREEDING COW! Well, because of all of this, I don't see FMIL
and FFIL at all. My fiancé can see them whenever he
wants to, but by himself. Believe me, it is the one single
decision in my life that has lead to the greatest improvement of
my life! I sincerely recommend it! The backside is,
of course, that we cannot have a big wedding, as my fiancé
would want to invite his parents to it. Our wedding has been
postponed indefinitely. Well, it is possible to live together.
So why should I stand the humiliation (maybe even at a wedding)
from them, just for the sake of a wedding?
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Worst gift: This has
got to be one of the WORST GIFTS ever received! I've received
a lot of strange and bad gifts for Christmas from MIL in the past.
And, I've learned to laugh at them, and (upon returning home from
visiting her) toss them into a box labeled "Yard Sale".
My husband and I have been married almost five years, and we dated
a couple of years prior to that. The first Christmas that
I was dating my husband, I already knew that my future MIL did not
really like me because I wasn't just like her. Well, I didn't
expect a gift from her, but I received a pair of knit stirrup pants
and a matching sweater. Not bad, but I look horrid in knit
pants, and never wear them. AND, the knit stirrup pants had
a four inch hole down the seam of the leg. I simply gave these
things away. The next year, I RECEIVED THE EXACT same thing,
but in just a different color. It was funny to me. Well,
after marrying my husband, I learned that my MIL had been secretly
talking to my husband and telling him that she didn't want to spend
too much money on me for anything. There was the year (while
dating) that she convinced him not to buy me roses for Valentine's
because "they are too expensive", or the time she told
him that we shouldn't have our wedding reception at the place I
wanted to have it because it was "too expensive, and she (me)
is being unreasonable and spoiled". The year she convinced
him to not buy me roses on Valentine's day was the year that he
was all the way across the country, and had to rely on her to get
me a gift for some reason. He entrusted her to buy me a gift
from him (what a mistake!), and I got a nondescript sweatshirt that
cost $3 from one of those "outlet stores" that sets up
shop for a month, then closes. That all hurt my feelings,
and I learned to laugh at it. And since then, I received the
same exact gifts two years in a row, because she forgot, OR because
she knows that I'll just say, "Thanks!", and my husband
will say, "Mom, you got that for her last year!"
And his mom replies, "Well, give it back, and I'll get you
something else." Then, she conveniently forgets to get
me anything else. So, I basically do not receive a gift.
It is no skin off my back, because I personally think she has awful
taste. She also has this thing where she insists that we give
her a list of things we want for Christmas (which I think is rude
to insist that I have this or that, but I also respect that she
says it helps her to shop more easily). Well, when she gets
our lists, she makes fun of mine in front of the whole family, and
says things like, "I don't buy nonfunctional, impractical items."
Or, "What would you do with that?" Or, "That's
way too expensive!" She just does this to me, and not
my SIL who is "perfect" in my MIL's eyes. Well,
that's nothing. One year, I had "thermal underwear for
snowskiing" as a really practical item on my Christmas list
for my MIL. My husband had taught me to snow ski while we
were vacationing with his family, since his family skied, and my
family did not. My MIL took a lot of pride in thinking that
her family had taught me something, and had given me opportunities
that my family had not. So I thought she'd be open to the
idea of buying me something that she had a part in. Guess
what she gave me? THERMAL UNDERWEAR. The old fashioned
kind. A pair of men's waffle weave thermals that had belonged
to her now deceased father (they were yellowed from age).
She also pointed out how she'd sewn up the fly/crotch for me so
they'd be more feminine. I received a few other knickknacks,
but guess what my in-laws bought for my SIL? A brand new pair
of water skis. By the way, my in-laws are upper middle class,
and have a brand new home that is over 4000 sq. ft. on a lake.
Signed - I Know They
Don't Like Me, But I Don't Like Them Either
RESPONSE: I Know They Don't Like Me, But I Don't Like
Them Either
Keep laughing!!!!
RESPONSE: I Know They Don't Like Me, But I Don't Like
Them Either
I'll tell you what I'd write on my Christmas "want" list
this year if I were you: "I just want two things:
Your love, and your respect. And if I can't get love, I'll
be happy to settle for some respect." And I would NEVER
go through that performance again!!!!!!
RESPONSE: I Know They Don't Like Me, But I Don't Like
Them Either
On the next Christmas list, put down nothing for you. Don't
even spend Christmas with them again. Or you can put down
"MIL stay away". Wouldn't that be the best gift
of all? She sounds like a rude lady, who is walking all over
you.
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Worst gift: That would
be our engagement present. My family gave us a really expensive
silver pie knife, wine glasses, and a set of plates (of the more
expensive sort). And, what did my dear, dear MIL give us?
A SHEET!!! It was white and yellow. I do like the color,
but c'mon. Plus, it was meant for a narrow bed, and ours was
a king size! She downplayed the other gifts, and said that
hers was the best, because we would have use for it (as a picnic
blanket maybe??!!). I've since then divorced my DH, and almost
gotten rid of his mom as well. She, every now and then, calls
me when she's drunk and cries over losing me(!!). She used
to badmouth me about the way I took care of my pets and her baby
(a man who was over 20 years of age), and the way I didn't keep
our house clean enough. And, after she'd sobered up, she'd
wonder why I was hurt. If she knew I was working a double
shift, she'd come over and "clean" our house. That
meant that she changed the places of the furniture, and just about
everything, and threw away my things. And later, she'd complain
about how much work it had been! And, the way she held onto
her only son was amazing - after DH and I had been living together
for over 2 years, she said, "I'm starting to realize that he
doesn't live here anymore." The next time I get involved
with someone, the MIL better behave, or else.
Signed - I Divorced My
Husband and MIL
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Worst gift: A number
of years ago, my SIL gave my daughters, then 12 and 11, some very
interesting gifts for Christmas. She gave the eldest a used
ashtray and a memory game (bought at a garage sale for 25 cents
- the masking tape price was still on it). And, to the youngest,
she gave a worn, stained, ladies red polyester vest and 3 pens.
Thankfully, my children took it very well. And, every year
the joke was to save those presents and open them together - knowing
they would be REALLY bad and worth the laugh!
Signed - The Bad Ash
Tray Present for Christmas
RESPONSE: The Bad Ash Tray Present for Christmas
I'd consider making a gift certificate on your computer for SIL
- for a free Cat Scan of her head! LOL!
RESPONSE: The Bad Ash Tray Present for Christmas
Your MIL gave a pre-teenager an ashtray?!?!?! Why didn't she
include the cigarettes to start her off nice and young? Dear
God! My DH and SIL told me that when they were in high school,
MIL stuffed their stockings at Christmas with condoms. MIL
told them to keep them on hand at all times because, "You never
know when you're going to have sex." Both our MILs are
idiots!
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Worst gift: Assume my
married last name is Smith. MIL gave us a cookbook that she
made and titled, "Smith Family and Friends Recipes".
I had been married to DH for five years. The cookbook contained
recipes from all her children and some friends. Not one recipe
in there had my name on it. One of the recipes that she listed
under her daughter's name was a recipe that I brought to family
functions many times. I was glad to know that I am not considered
to be a friend. But, I was hurt to know that I am not considered
family though.
Signed - May MIL's Dishes
Keep Tasting Like The Vomit They Always Have
RESPONSE: May MIL's Dishes Keep Tasting Like The Vomit
They Always Have
Wow! Are you my long lost twin? Just last Christmas,
my MIL made up a similar cookbook and gave it to all the young women
in the family, including a copy to me. She made an introduction
page, on which she talked about the importance of family love and
acceptance. She then signed the page, "Love, MIL, FIL,
DD and DS." Not only did she leave out BIL and other
IL's names, she used SIL's maiden name instead of her married name.
Just like you, a recipe that originated in MY family got into that
cookbook, and she took all the credit for it! As for the remainder
of the recipes, I think she pulled them out of thin air. I've
been married to my DH for 5 years, and I have never, ever seen her
make one of these so-called vintage family recipes. To tell
you the truth, I don't even know where I put the darn cookbook!
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Worst gift: My worst
MIL gift came on my first Christmas with my husband's family.
I had been shopping with my MIL a few months before Christmas, and
I made the fatal mistake of eating a grape in the store. She
shot me a look, and made a comment about it. A few weeks prior
to that, my DH and I were returning home from a trip and stopped
in a rest area gas station. It was the middle of the night
and nothing was open, so I grabbed an egg salad sandwich from the
shelf. I tasted it to make sure it was fresh, and of course
it wasn't. I wasn't sure if the clerk would try to make me
pay for it since I bit into it, so I wrapped it up and put it back.
Now it was Christmas time, and my MIL decided that we had to guess
our gifts before we would be able to open them. When it was
my turn, she handed me a gift bag. It was wrapped with tissue
paper, so I couldn't see inside. I started to feel the outside
of the bag and shake it a bit. As I was shaking it, this awful
smell came from inside. After guessing for a few minutes,
she told me that I would never guess it, and to go ahead and open
it. Inside there were several items wrapped in tissue paper.
I opened the first one to find some grapes in a bag that had little
bites taken out of them. The second one was a half eaten,
rancid egg salad sandwich. I didn't give her the satisfaction
of opening the rest. Everyone else got normal gifts, and I
was left to be the laugh of her day. Little did she know that
she screwed herself out of getting nice gifts from me. Thereafter,
I started buying the figurines that I had started collecting for
her at holiday time for myself, and I gave her something that I
knew she wouldn't want, and couldn't return!
Signed - Again I Got
the Last Laugh
RESPONSE: Again I Got the Last Laugh
What was your MIL doing in your house without your knowledge anyway?
RESPONSE: Again I Got the Last Laugh
In one way, I don't blame your MIL for doing what she did.
I can't believe that you would think it was ok to take a bite out
of a sandwich in a shop, and wrap it back up for someone else to
buy!!!!!! I feel kind of sick after reading what you did.
RESPONSE: Again I Got the Last Laugh
Yuck! Why on earth would you put a sandwich, that you had
bitten into, back on the shelf? Why not bring it to the attention
of the clerk? Both you and your MIL are in need of some manners.
RESPONSE: Again I Got the Last Laugh
You eat stuff in stores that you haven't paid for? I don't
really blame her for making fun of you. I would too.
Do you know how many germs would be on an unwashed grape in the
store? And, why would you bite a sandwich and then put it
back? That is disgusting. Basic manners should prevent
you from doing such things. I would have been horrified had
I seen someone behave that way.
RESPONSE: Again I Got the Last Laugh
Thank God she's not my MIL. I probably would have resorted
to violence!
RESPONSE: Again I Got the Last Laugh
It was a horrific present that she gave you, but I would not want
to be the person who bought that sandwich after you did. There
are ways of figuring out if something is fresh, and they don't involve
tasting the item. I can understand why she was appalled at
your behavior.
RESPONSE: Again I Got the Last Laugh
Although I agree that your MIL's gift was childish and stupid, I
must say that I found your behavior a little questionable as well.
I think that almost everyone has eaten a grape in a store - no big
deal. But, to take a bite out of a sandwich, realize it had
gone bad, wrap it up, and put it back??? I feel that this
is strange as well. I mean common sense should have told you
that they aren't going to make you pay for it, but the nice thing
to do would have been to bring it to the store clerk's attention.
I am not trying to be mean, and your MIL does seem a bit off her
rocker, but I still think that what you did is strange. Good
Luck!!
RESPONSE: Again I Got the Last Laugh
Good grief, how tacky can you get? No, dear, I'm not talking
about your MIL, I'm talking about YOU. While Christmas isn't
really the most appropriate time for her to have tried to "teach
you a lesson", I really can't totally fault her for it.
Taking a bite out of a sandwich and just putting it back on the
shelf is DISGUSTING! I mean, did you really expect to find
a gourmet meal at a gas station? Give me a break!
RESPONSE: Again I Got the Last Laugh
Even though your MIL's gift to you was totally wrong, what you did
was absolutely disgusting. Taking a bite out of a sandwich,
and then wrapping it up and putting it back on a store shelf is
just plain tacky.
RESPONSE: Again I Got the Last Laugh
Wow! Sorry to hear that she did that to you! Isn't it
sick how our in-laws feel it necessary to humiliate us! You
know, my SIL and BIL used to walk around our house and look in our
windows. So, I got shades and curtains that weren't easy to
see through. My MIL told people that I am paranoid, and trying
to hide in my house!!!! Yeah, right lady!!!! Maybe we
all would just like a little bit of privacy and security in OUR
OWN HOMES!
RESPONSE: Again I Got the Last Laugh
Wow, you sound like a nightmarish MIL-in-training!
RESPONSE: Again I Got the Last Laugh
I do not understand why your MIL felt the need to be your "judge
and jury" in such a way. It sounds like she is a pretty,
rotten person herself. But, I also do not understand your
actions. Do you do realize that you were wrong in both of
the incidents that you mentioned before you told us about the gifts
you got? What you did both times was dishonest. Doing
it in front of such a MIL was like waving a red cape in front of
a bull. I don't mean this in a mean way, so please keep that
in mind as you read this. It sounds like you and MIL are pretty
well matched. It sounds like you will give as good as you
get from her. So, that should help you feel better.
Good luck.
RESPONSE: Again I Got the Last Laugh
Although I don't agree with your MIL's gifts, tasting food and putting
it back on the shelf is disgusting. Shame on you.
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Worst gift: This is
a classic of my MIL. I got nothing - no card, no call saying
happy birthday, not one thing. It was not even an afterthought,
because I thought that in a couple days she would call and tell
me that she forgot. But, I got NOTHING. I wasn't looking
for a gift, but if she has no money for a gift, she could have called
me (for goodness sakes) and wished me a happy birthday. Some
of you might not think that it is too bad, but that's not the best
part of the story. Keep in mind that my birthday is in May,
and hers is in September. That same year, her birthday fell
on a weekday. Knowing I work two jobs and so does my husband,
we worked around our schedules to get to her house in the evening,
because it was her 50th birthday. She was nowhere to be found.
We had a cake and presents for her also. After "tracking"
her down, she was extremely mad at us because we did not contact
her sooner. And, she thought that we "forgot" that
it was her 50TH BIRTHDAY!!!! Who is forgetful again????????????
Signed - Forgetful Birthday
Wishes
RESPONSE: Forgetful Birthday Wishes
Do you mean she owes it to you to be home on her birthday, when
you haven't planned ahead with her to come over? Maybe she
had other plans! I don't think you have the right to be angry
with her for not being home when you decided to stop by. My
ILs do that on my birthday. They come by expecting a party.
I'm not somebody who likes a big fuss on my birthday. I wish
I could trade their behavior with your MIL's behavior. We'd
each appreciate it more the other way!
RESPONSE: Forgetful Birthday Wishes
I agree that her ignoring your birthday is inexcusably rude.
But, did you call ahead and tell her you were coming, or did you
just drop in? It's not too much of a stretch to think that
she might have made plans to go out on her 50th birthday, and wouldn't
be sitting around the house. However, if she was having a
birthday party, she could've invited you, if she wished.
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Worst gift: Well, speaking
of cheap gifts, my MIL gave me a travel size pack of bath wash.
Top that.
Signed - LOVE THOSE GIFTS
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Worst gift: I received
this Christmas "gift" from my own mother. But, it
still bothers me, as it is so typical of her narcissism. To
give some background, my mother has always preferred buying things
at thrift stores and yard sales, because "new things are too
expensive, and aren't worth what the stores charge for them."
So, I knew, as soon as I opened this Christmas present, where it
had come from. It was blue, fake fur, and the style was at
least 10 years out of date. It was hideous, and I wouldn't
have liked it even when it was new. My opinion showed in my
face before I could catch myself, and she got upset. She insisted
that she would return it, then pouted for the rest of the evening.
Even when I was a teenager and very self-conscious about my appearance,
she would insist on buying me clothes that were either used, or
from the discount store. She has done the same thing with
other people, never realizing that they will be able to tell that
the items aren't new, and might not exactly be appreciative.
It isn't that she can't afford new things - she's just CHEAP.
I have been aware for years that my mother is deliberately ignorant
of social customs, so I am now prepared to react neutrally at gift-giving
times. She has never had a clue about my personal taste, or
anyone else's. And, she assumes that I, and everyone else,
will like the same things that she does. I donate them to
charity, and keep my fingers crossed that she won't ask about them.
Signed - The Salvation
Army Adores Me
RESPONSE: The Salvation Army Adores Me
Have you ever received anything from her that you had donated previously?
RESPONSE: The Salvation Army Adores Me
My mom has similar habits because she grew up in a poor household.
There was very little money for things like gifts and nice clothes.
Maybe your mom's background causes her to be a bit of a tightwad?
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