|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
Worst gift: Posted: 4-SEP-01
My MIL is almost too much for me these days.
If she calls me to tell me about something DH and I should do, and
I tell her, "Thanks, but no thanks," she gets angry and
hangs up on me. She told me, once, that she thought I was only
nice to her so that she would watch my son for me (which I thought
she did because she loves him and wanted to). My gifts have
been a t-shirt for Xmas with a country singer's picture on the front.
I don't even like country music. She told everyone who was there
when I opened it that it was on the sale rack at a discount department
store for $1.99, that I could sleep in it, and it was a small.
At a family gathering, I had once said that when I was little, I always
wanted boy's toys. And that there was a certain race track that
I wanted and my mom didn't buy it for me because we were girls.
At Xmas, she got me a child's race track. I couldn't believe
it. How old am I? I really have to watch what I say to
her. Some might think these things are thoughtful, but when
you see my SILs get cotton terry robes, new thick bath towels, and
useful things, I'm aware of how she feels about me. She also
enjoys insulting me, in front of guests, about my hair or anything
she can think of.
signed - Terrible MIL Enjoys
Insulting Me
( respond
to a story ) ( I can top this )
RESPONSE: Terrible MIL Enjoys Insulting Me
Posted: 25-SEP-01
Yes, it certainly sounds like the woman has nothing
better to do than to belittle your character. Since you don't
want to stoop down to her level, why not try just completely ignoring
that type of behavior. That way, she cannot get a rise out of
you. I would assume that she makes herself look bad to everyone
around you when she behaves like that. She is obviously intimidated,
and you should feel sorry for her and that pathetic behavior.
Well, just keep up the good work!
RESPONSE: Terrible MIL Enjoys Insulting Me
Posted: 27-SEP-01
She sounds like a nightmare. Why not give her
a taste of her own medicine? How about a "Manners for Idiots"
book, or something like that?
RESPONSE: Terrible MIL Enjoys Insulting Me
Posted: 12-OCT-01
She sounds mean. My MIL gets me dollar store
items for Christmas while getting DH nice stuff. I ignore it,
because then I don't feel I owe her anything. Start speaking
up when she puts you down. They usually start back peddling
once they know you're not going to take it!
|
|
Worst gift: Posted: 14-OCT-01
My "exMotherInLaw", as I gladly call her
(my hubby died 6 years ago), has always found a way to put me down,
or embarrass me somehow. She is a real witch, and the worst
gift I ever received was on Christmas day. It was a purple sweater
three sizes larger than what I wear, and it looked like a terry cloth
towel that the fuzz ball monster attacked on the way home. I
tried to seem pleased and grateful, but I was so shocked at the size
of the sweater alone, I just about fell on the floor. First
thing out of her mouth was, "I told you she wouldn't like it!!!"
Then, she complained because I never wore it! I wanted to tell
her I am really not into purple fuzz ball sweaters, but what could
I say without something wrong coming out?
Signed - No Fuzz For Me
RESPONSE: No Fuzz For Me
Posted: 15-OCT-01
I noticed the same thing! On the 16th and 17th
of September, there was one responder who was downright nasty and
ridiculous. She actually told the poor DIL who got a used toenail
clipper for a gift that she was a spoiled brat and should be grateful!
LOL, what a wacko!
RESPONSE: No Fuzz For Me
Posted: 15-OCT-01
This is your EX MIL? Ha! Good. To
he!! with her! Hope you donated the ugly sweater to charity!
RESPONSE: No Fuzz For Me
Posted: 15-OCT-01
I don't know that you CAN say anything, but IMHO, it
depends on how well you get along with her now, how close you and
your family are to her, and how close you WANT to be. If you
mostly get along with her and don't much feel like rocking the boat,
you could say, "I'm sorry, but it didn't fit, and it wasn't my
style." If you don't care how huffy you make her, you can
always tell her the thing is butt ugly and tent sized.
|
|
Worst gift: Posted:
26-JUL-01
My MIL didn't seem so bad until after we got married.
Isn't that usually the case? You find out after it's too late
to run? I can't count the number of heinous, inappropriate,
or otherwise flat out rude gifts she has so graciously brought me.
But I'll give a small sampling. At my wedding shower, she made
a big show of bringing in an armload of gifts. I gave her the
usual, "Goodness you shouldn't have gone to so much trouble for
me," line. To wit she responded, "Oh, but I didn't."
I was puzzled by that cryptic comment until the time came to open
the gifts. All of the gifts she brought were for babies.
A stroller, a wrapped package of Pampers, baby clothes, pacifiers,
a BREAST PUMP?? I tried to be polite, but finally smiled and
said, "But MIL, I'm not even pregnant!" She lost her
smile and said, "That will change." Oooookay.
The law had been laid down. To MIL, I was nothing more than
a factory to produce grandchildren for her, a fact that has gone from,
"Oh it's just your imagination," to my husband openly gaping,
"Man she's really going over the top, isn't she?"
Back when my DH was still my DBF, we had discussed our feelings on
having children. Neither of us wanted them. Period.
There's absolutely no reason for a child to be raised by people who
never wanted him/her in the first place, so we had no intentions of
changing our minds (still don't!). We made this clear to MIL
prior to the wedding. It seems to have only fueled her determination
to see me pregnant. For my birthday, I received maternity clothes.
LOTS of them. For Christmas, I received a crib and a changing
table. For Valentine's day, I received a fertility monitor with
a note attached saying, "This should help speed things up."
But the topper of all was the "gift" I received for Mother's
Day three years into what is otherwise a fabulous marriage.
A prepaid exam to a fertility specialist!!! The card said, "Hope
they can find out what the problem with you is. Love, MIL"
I was very irritated at this point, and called to tell her we wound
not be needing this "gift", and for her to get her money
back. The floodgates blew open then! She berated me for
being immature and selfish. And she told me that it was my JOB
to give her son (who didn't want kids, but hey, that's beside the
point) and herself some precious babies to love. She angrily
demanded why I'd be the cause of the family name dying out (he has
two brothers, both have had children), and said that I must be a "heartless
b!tch" to not want to be a mother. And she had no clue
what her son had been drinking when he agreed to marry me. My
wonderful DH promptly got on the phone and told her that if she wanted
a baby so much, the state homes were filled with children who desperately
needed loving homes. But that we were not about to make a lifetime
commitment to something we were 100% sure we didn't want, just so
she could get off on purchasing baby items. Then he hung up.
The saga will continue, of that I have no doubt. But luckily
for me, my DH has decided to stand along side me, instead of cowing
down to his mother like some of the husbands posted about on here
are doing. For that, I am grateful.
Signed - MIL With Baby
Rabies
RESPONSE: MIL With Baby Rabies
Posted: 30-JUL-01
I know EXACTLY what you're going through! I am
shocked at how many people insist that it's every woman's "duty"
to have children, regardless of how she feels about being a mother.
I won't even go into environmental issues, but it's very sad for a
child to be raised by a mother who would rather be child-free, but
believes she had no choice but to get married and have children.
Believe me, I know. In my case, it was my FIL who insisted it
was DH's duty to carry on the family name (he has all sisters).
Even though DH had told him even before we got married that he didn't
want kids, FIL kept at him about it until his mother finally said,
"For God's sake, FIL, leave the boy alone!" Hooray
for her! At least we don't have to listen to that anymore.
Stick to your guns, and keep sending back her thoughtless gifts.
What a b!tch!
RESPONSE: MIL With Baby Rabies
Posted: 30-JUL-01
Wow! This is the worst story of MIL pressure
about pregnancy that I've ever heard. She is too much.
At least your DH recognizes that her behavior and gifts are WAY out
of line. Now I think you need to stop accepting gifts that are
in any way geared toward maternity or motherhood. Any time she
gives you one, I would hand it back to her and say, firmly but kindly,
"Dear MIL, We've already explained several times our thoughts
about having children. Frankly, our reproductive agenda is none
of your business, and so I'd appreciate it if you would stop giving
me gifts that involve child rearing. Thank you."
It sounds like she's the kind of woman with whom you must be blatantly
up front. And if she gets mad, that's her problem, especially
since you and your DH are a united front. Good luck with that
psycho woman!
RESPONSE: MIL With Baby Rabies
Posted: 30-JUL-01
What a nut!! I hope you return all the gifts
and put the money in savings for a vasectomy! Then you can tell
her, "Thanks for helping!"
RESPONSE: MIL With Baby Rabies
Posted: 30-JUL-01
I have a wonderful solution for you. My brother
and his wife also chose not to have children. With my family
that was fine. As you stated, why commit yourself to something
you are 100% sure you don't want. Anyway, when her mother kept
on about them having babies, they shared their "plans" for
his vasectomy with her. Likewise, my ex-husband and his wife
didn't want any more children than the two he and I had together.
Similar to my brother's situation, her mom couldn't stand it that
she wouldn't have any biological children of her own. Only then
did she share that she was having her tubes tied. Trust me,
it works like a charm. You may even want to have it done to
ensure that you DON'T have children.
RESPONSE: MIL With Baby Rabies
Posted: 31-JUL-01
Take all of the baby stuff and donate it. Have
the charity send a card to your MIL thanking her for the gift.
RESPONSE: MIL With Baby Rabies
Posted: 31-JUL-01
That's horrible! I can't even imagine having
to deal with that woman. My DH and I do not want children either.
I have never had that inclination. It simply amazes me how accusatory
and judgmental people are about this topic. Why should it offend
anyone if we don't want children? You're absolutely correct
that no child should be born into a home that does not want him or
her with every fiber in their being. In the past, my MIL would
make all sorts of comments about grandchildren to me, fully expecting
that some day soon we would produce one for her. At first I
found it mildly amusing, then irritating, and finally infuriating.
This woman didn't care how many times I told her that I didn't want
children. She just turned up the pressure. Finally, DH
had to go to her home and have a little chat with her about it, and
she hasn't said a word about it to me since. I'm sure she still
holds out hope, but at least she's not pestering me anymore.
What could these MIL's be thinking? Your story shocked me.
You have been infinitely patient with this crazy lady, you're to be
commended.
RESPONSE: MIL With Baby Rabies
Posted: 31-JUL-01
If you are 100% sure you do not want children, one
of you should make the decision to get sterilized, thus making it
a moot point. I'm sure she'll have a meltdown over it, but it
IS your life, your decision not to procreate, and not hers.
There should be no unwanted children on this planet, and sadly, there
are too many. Hang tough. I hope she doesn't drag your
BILs in to this fiasco. I strongly suspect she sounds like the
type who will, so be prepared.
RESPONSE: MIL With Baby Rabies
Posted: 31-JUL-01
That's APPALLING. I thought I'd heard it all!
Over the top is RIGHT! I think you've been awfully patient with
her. What a piece of work!
RESPONSE: MIL With Baby Rabies
Posted: 31-JUL-01
It is your (you and your DH) decision if you don't
want kids. I have never heard of a MIL, or ANYONE, being so
forward about pushing someone to get pregnant. I am sorry to
say that I did get quite a laugh out of your MIL's antics!!
TOTALLY UNBELIEVABLE!! I am also sorry to say that I think she
will never let up, but even if she does let up some, she will always
blame you and curse you under her breathe for not having babies.
I think you need to move FAR away from her. Or better yet, just
lie outright to her and tell her that her lovable son's sperm count
is way too low and the doctors say you will not be able to pregnant
by him. I say blame it on her adorable son so she can't badmouth
you anymore!!
RESPONSE: MIL With Baby Rabies
Posted: 4-AUG-01
Good grief! Your MIL sounds like one CRAZY woman.
In my opinion, she has psychological problems and needs some SERIOUS
counseling!
RESPONSE: MIL With Baby Rabies
Posted: 4-AUG-01
Every time your MIL gives you another baby gift, you
should just donate it to a local shelter, or agency for children,
in her name. Then have them send her a thank you letter.
RESPONSE: MIL With Baby Rabies
Posted: 5-AUG-01
As WACKY and out of line as you know (and it sure is
obvious to US!) she is, please don't take what she said to heart on
any level. Sometimes, no matter how wacky and out of line people
are, I know they still have the power to hurt me, a lot of times.
She is completely wrong to say that it's "heartless" of
you not to have children. Heartless when the world is already
overpopulated? Heartless when there are already (as your DH
mentioned to her) so many unwanted, unloved babies out there?
Which is more heartless, taking the responsibility not to have children
when you don't feel that calling, or going ahead and having them and
letting the chips fall where they may? I WISH my father hadn't
had children. He was physically and psychologically abusive,
and my childhood was hell. I don't think I'll ever be o.k.
But, I guess your MIL would think being like him (selfish and abusive)
is a lot better than being like you (responsible and conscientious).
Well, she can just go jump in a lake. Talk about SELFISH.
She already has a passel of grandchildren, and she berates YOU for
not giving her more babies to love. It's all about her, her,
her. She sounds like the poster child for selfishness, if you
ask me. Don't let her get to you, PLEASE. SHE is being
abusive. I hope you can think of her as just a silly babbling
three-year-old, or something. Or a mental patient! It's
lucky your DH turned out as well as he did, coming from an immature
and selfish mother like that. It's mind-boggling!
RESPONSE: MIL With Baby Rabies
Posted: 10-AUG-01
This might be helpful to some other DILs who aren't
planning to have children. My DH and I are not planning to have
children, but we keep that a secret. It's really nobody's business
but our own. When someone asks us about it, we give some vague
answer like, "I guess we'll see, won't we?" So NOBODY
is hassling us about children. My DH's friends, however, are
being hassled a great deal for coming out and announcing point blank
that they aren't going to have children. It's nobody's business
but your own. Keep it to yourselves, and people will stay out
of your hair a little more! Keep them guessing. I think
if we came right out and told my MIL point blank that we're not planning
on children, she'd need to go on some kind of heavy antidepressant,
or something. We wouldn't want that!
RESPONSE: MIL With Baby Rabies
Posted: 13-AUG-01
This might be helpful to some other DILs who aren't
planning to have children. My DH and I are not planning to have
children, but we keep that a secret. It's really nobody's business
but our own. When someone asks us about it, we give some vague
answer like, "I guess we'll see, won't we?" So NOBODY
is hassling us about children. My DH's friends, however, are
being hassled a great deal for coming out and announcing point blank
that they aren't going to have children. It's nobody's business
but your own. Keep it to yourselves, and people will stay out
of your hair a little more! Keep them guessing. I think
if we came right out and told my MIL point blank that we're not planning
on children, she'd need to go on some kind of heavy antidepressant,
or something. We wouldn't want that!
RESPONSE: MIL With Baby Rabies
Posted: 16-AUG-01
"Hope they can find out what the problem with
you is. Love, MIL" Wow. What a stupid b!tch.
Somebody put that lady out of her misery. If she wants a baby
so badly, why doesn't she adopt one? Why should you have to
go through the pain of childbirth, and the cost of raising a child
for her? I think guns are legal in your case.
RESPONSE: MIL With Baby Rabies
Posted: 24-AUG-01
I was originally going to say that you should get your
tubes tied, but then I realized that that would make you (to your
MIL), "That b!tch that won't let my son have children."
Your DH should get a vasectomy. Besides, it is faster, safer
and cheaper.
RESPONSE: MIL With Baby Rabies
Posted: 25-AUG-01
That's just terrible. Like it's any of her business,
anyway! My DH and I DO plan to have children one day.
We've discussed it at great lengths. And, we've decided that
we'd like no more than two (but we'll be incredibly happy with any
number, as many people are lucky to just get one). So, in casual
conversation, my DH mentioned that we feel that two is a good number.
She gasped and said, "What's wrong with three (because SHE had
three)?" She must have felt that we were insulting her
or something. But, she always says things like, "When you
guys have kids," and she says it A LOT. That makes me uncomfortable.
That is OUR business, not hers. So, lately, I've been playing
a game with her. Every time MIL says anything that begins or
ends with, "When you guys have kids," I say, "Kids?
What kids? No way, too much work. We have our cats, that's
enough for us." I've noticed my DH starting to play along
also, but he only thinks it's funny - I'm doing it to send the message
of, "Hey, lady, back off and quit talking about 'when we have
kids', all right!" I don't understand people who feel they
have to grill you about your own private reproductive life.
Why do they even talk about it? It's not like it involves or
affects them in any way. My DH and I have been married almost
10 months now, and as soon as people find out that we recently got
married, the first thing they want to know is: DO we plan on
kids, and if so, WHEN. I find this appalling, and ever since
I discovered just how much I hate it, I've vowed never ever to ask
those kinds of questions again.
RESPONSE: MIL With Baby Rabies
Posted: 25-AUG-01
Certainly, this breaks the all time record for lack
of subtlety. Given that you have the support of your husband,
either set fire to any baby presents, or send them back to her (adding
a brick if they aren't heavy enough) without paying the postage.
RESPONSE: MIL With Baby Rabies
Posted: 25-AUG-01
He he he he. Sorry to laugh, but I mean it with
empathy. You could be living my life. For a long time,
I declined to deal with her obsession in a hostile manner. That
is, until I finally saw the light and realized her own actions were
hostile, and I should feel free to respond in kind. I told her,
the next time she tried such a stunt, my husband and I would both
cease all communication with her immediately. She went bawling
to my husband, who told her the same thing. It seems to have
worked, but we are absolutely prepared to follow through with the
threat, if necessary.
RESPONSE: MIL With Baby Rabies
Posted: 17-SEP-01
I understand you both. Have a baby and give it
to your MIL so she can raise him (and at the same time, have her grandchild).
Oh, you are right. Some couples are not good parents, and don't
need children.
RESPONSE: MIL With Baby Rabies
Posted: 7-OCT-01
Is she crazy? Oh yes indeedy! Can't you
send her back a prepaid certificate from a psychiatrist with the message
"Hope they find out what's wrong with YOU"? Wouldn't
you just love to see her face? You and your husband have made
your decision together. She needs to learn her boundaries and
leave you alone.
RESPONSE: MIL With Baby Rabies
Posted: 7-OCT-01
I have a question for the September 17 respondent.
Are you actually saying that the couple should go through nine months
of pregnancy and have a baby just so the MIL can have it to raise,
and have another grandchild? Do you think they should do that
just for her? Don't you think it would be a better idea (if
she wants a baby SO badly) if the MIL adopted a baby, or took in a
foster child, or something? Are you that MIL who wrote in a
little while ago? With all due respect, I think there are very
few human beings who would go through nine months of pregnancy just
so their MIL could have a kid. I think any MIL who is THAT selfish
and demanding will be awfully disappointed. She'll NEVER get
them to do that for her! Can we say, "ASKING TOO MUCH"?!!!!
RESPONSE: MIL With Baby Rabies
Posted: 14-OCT-01
Is there something about the 17th of the month that
brings out the wack-jobs? Check out all the answers from the
grouchy ol' MIL on that date. Get a life, "MIL Dread",
or whatever your real name is.
RESPONSE: MIL With Baby Rabies
Posted: 15-OCT-01
For Christmas this year, you should give your MIL a
prepaid visit to a psychiatrist with a card that reads,"Hope
they find out what your problem is!" LOL. That should
shut her up once and for all. She really needs to get a life,
and so does the poster who told you to have a baby and give it to
MIL to raise. Where do these people come from?
|
|
Worst gift: Posted: 16-OCT-01
I can honestly say that my MIL is a piece of work.
Thank God she doesn't live close by. It's to the point that,
when the phone rings and I check the caller ID (thank God for Caller
ID), if it's the "In Laws", I won't answer the phone.
One year my Christmas gift was a soap dish. As she handed it
to me she said, "You use soap, don't you?" Another
year, my gift was a skirt made entirely of my father in law's old
ties, many of which were stained, with a piece of some sort of twine
to tie, in order to keep it up. These people go on trips around
the world, so they have money to buy an acceptable gift. I have
never been anything but nice to them, yet I'm treated like cr@p.
One year after a trip to the Middle East, they sent me half a package
of dried apricots (equivalent to about a cup). Do you believe
that? Half a package wrapped up in Christmas paper. My
husband is afraid to say anything to them for fear of getting written
out of the will, which I can totally understand. Then, there's
the thing about grandchildren. They want grandchildren by hook
or crook. I have had three miscarriages. After I told
them about the second one, my MIL shouted over the phone that the
third time is a charm. My husband and I don't even want children.
But, unfortunately, our protection doesn't always work. She
refuses to understand that even if we did want children, I can't carry
one. To say nothing of the fact that I have fibromyalgia, IBS,
migraines, chronic bronchitis, and arthritis. Stress can make
me very ill for a week. My white count gets so high I have to
be hospitalized. For me, stress is the trigger for my fibromyalgia.
She believes that my illnesses are in my head and should be ignored.
I wouldn't wish my health on my worst enemy. So I try to tune
her out, and every night I pray for her. I've finally realized
that there's nothing that I can do to change my FIL or her.
She's coming in a few weeks, so PLEASE say a prayer for me tonight.
I hope I haven't depressed everyone. This is the first time
I've ever posted anything on the internet. Thanks for listening
to me rattle on. Have a great day, and thanks again!
Signed - Hoping For A Quiet
Visit
RESPONSE: Hoping For A Quiet Visit
Posted: 17-OCT-01
I'm sorry to hear about your health. It must
be miserable to be sick and then deal with sick in-laws at the same
time. You should continue to limit contact with these people
for the sake of your health. And, if hubby gets written out
of the will, then too bad. Is money that important? If
these people are that petty, then who needs them. Take care
of yourself!
RESPONSE: Hoping For A Quiet Visit
Posted: 17-OCT-01
Someone that I am very close to suffers from severe
Fibromyalgia. I know all too well what you are going through.
Everyone thinks that her problems are all in her head, too.
I wish you the best, and I hope that you are able to tune out your
MIL's foolishness throughout this visit. It may be time, however,
for your DH to stand up to his parents and confront them about their
behavior, regardless of the will. Your health and your sanity
are worth more. I believe that their behavior can be discussed
without being accusatory or ugly. A mature conversation is in
order. If they are incapable of conducting such a conversation,
then you are better off cutting the strings now. Good luck to
you!!!!
RESPONSE: Hoping For A Quiet Visit
Posted: 17-OCT-01
I feel so badly for you. I think your husband
should protect you from his parents. You're more valuable than
any inheritance. Your husband should realize money isn't everything,
and show some respect for you. I don't mean to sound harsh about
your spouse, but most IL trouble would be solved if the husband/wife
would correct their parent's shabby behavior.
|
|
Worst gift: Posted: 26-JUL-01
Here's an oddball one for you. My DH comes from
a ranching family. They're your typical red meat and potatoes
farmer types. DH was just like them until we began dating.
I'm a vegan for ethical reasons. Seeing a chunk of a formerly
live animal on my plate just grosses me out. DH gave up eating
meat, at least when he's around me, all on his own. My FIL cannot
accept that I won't eat meat. And every time I get a cold, he
says it's because I'm unhealthy. Never mind that I run 5 miles
a day and am in excellent health. I must be unhealthy because
I don't eat meat. When we eat at their house (it's rare, but
it happens), he always makes a huge production out of eating his bleeding,
raw steak. He carries on about how great it is, and asks, "Wouldn't
I like a piece?" It makes me sick to my stomach.
My MIL doesn't say anything about it beyond telling him to leave me
alone. I think my diet is a non-issue for her. But last
Christmas, guess what they gave us for a present? A cow on ice.
Yes, a cow, nicely processed and packaged. I'm torn between
feeling repulsed at having it in our freezer (it took the entire chest
freezer!), and feeling dutifully grateful because I know they could
have sold that beef for around a thousand bucks. They raise
organic, free range cattle. They sell directly to private buyers,
and get serious money for it. I realize that in their eyes,
this was a huge gift that was also very practical. But in my
eyes, it's as tacky as if they'd killed my dog, and then offered me
a leg to gnaw on. DH actually solved the problem for me.
He sold 3/4 of it to one if his coworkers, gave me the money to go
buy what I wanted, and kept some of the steaks hidden away for himself
for when I wasn't around to see him eat it. Whenever FIL asks
about the beef, DH just smiles and says we're still working on it.
Signed - Not Gonna Eat
Meat
RESPONSE: Not Gonna Eat Meat
Posted: 30-JUL-01
What are their dislikes? Is there a certain meal
FIL hates, a particular sport he doesn't like, or maybe a movie he
detests? If it's a meal he hates, invite them over for dinner
and serve it. Oops! You hate that meal? I forgot.
If he hates golf, buy him golf balls. Encourage him to like
the sport! How about that movie he can't stand? Buy the
video for him for Christmas!!!! Have a little fun teaching an
old dog a trick or two. Who knows? Maybe he'll learn something!
RESPONSE: Not Gonna Eat Meat
Posted: 30-JUL-01
The only thing I can say is that you have a wonderful
husband who respects your feelings. Thank god, for there are
a few unlucky ones who do not even have that. If I were in your
place, this gesture from my husband would have removed all the hurt
that came because of this by my ILs. Who cares, as long as your
husband is with you. Imagine if your husband had insisted that
you cook that for him because it is from his dear parents. And,
believe me, there are men like that (a lot of them).
RESPONSE: Not Gonna Eat Meat
Posted: 30-JUL-01
Your FIL's life is beef, basically. He has probably
been in disbelief that his son married someone who won't even eat
it. I'm sure that your FIL believes that he means well, but
he is not respecting you by trying to push the stuff on you.
How rotten of him to give you and your husband a whole freezer full
of it when he knows that you don't eat it! I think some people
just really have a hard time accepting that some people think about
things in a different way. Your husband sounds great though.
I think I would find something that FIL dislikes and try to cram it
down his throat (so to speak). When he protests, tell him that
you decided that he should like it because you do.
RESPONSE: Not Gonna Eat Meat
Posted: 30-JUL-01
I see your dilemma. But I just have one comment.
I know that you're a vegetarian, and there's nothing wrong with that,
but I think its going a little overboard that it bothers you to see
your husband eat meat. You stated that you don't like your eating
habits questioned, but at the same time, you're critical of your husband
and in-laws because they eat meat. I think it's also going a
little overboard to be repulsed just by the sight of it. Its
not like they're forcing you to eat meat. I do agree, though,
that they shouldn't rub it in your face whenever they do eat meat.
That's just kind of mean. I really don't know what to make of
the gift, though. From what you've described, it seems that
this is the only main issue between you and your in-laws. Maybe
they forgot you're a vegetarian, and that's why they gave you a whole
cow.
RESPONSE: Not Gonna Eat Meat
Posted: 30-JUL-01
I just wanted to tell you that, while you have a despicable
FIL, you have a wonderful DH! I'm sure you already knew that.
He should probably tell FIL that he's out of line and should not give
you gifts like that, but it sounds like FIL is the type who's not
going to bother listening to that anyway.
RESPONSE: Not Gonna Eat Meat
Posted: 31-JUL-01
I don't understand why people get so bent out of shape
because someone is a vegetarian or vegan. I adore animals, and
I'm trying to take the steps to cut all meats and poultry products
out of my diet for ethical reasons as well. For the past four
years, however, I have not eaten any pork products, and it never ceases
to amaze me how offended some individuals are by this. For example,
my SIL invited DH and myself over for dinner. She asked him
if lasagna was okay, and he said it was fine. But he told her
that I don't eat pork. She replied that she usually made it
with sausage, but that she would leave it out for me. Well the
day of the dinner, she announced to all that she rarely made this
dish because it took so much time to prepare, and that she supposed
it turned out okay, but it is so much better with the pork.
Maybe it's just me, but I felt so embarrassed that I wanted to get
up and leave. In regards to your situation, I can appreciate
how your FIL's actions make you feel. I imagine that it's quite
devastating for you to see that animal's carcass in your freezer.
I believe that your FIL is being passive-aggressive towards you.
Perhaps your husband could speak to him on your behalf?
RESPONSE From Poster: Not Gonna Eat Meat
Posted: 21-AUG-01
To the respondent who said, "I know that you're
a vegetarian, and there's nothing wrong with that, but I think its
going a little overboard that it bothers you to see your husband eat
meat." First of all, my husband made the choice to not
eat it in front of me. I never asked him to do this, it was
HIS idea. Some guys choose to stop scratching their balls around
their wives, mine chose to stop eating meat around me. Many
vegans REFUSE to even date meat eaters, so I don't see that I'm going
overboard. I've often told him that it's OK, he can eat as he
pleases. But he said he doesn't mind. "You stated
that you don't like your eating habits questioned, but at the same
time, you're critical of your husband and in-laws because they eat
meat." Where am I being critical of their eating habits?
When I eat at their house, I don't expect them to whip out the lentil
casserole. I accept that they will eat meat, and I simply load
up on the baked potatoes and green beans and whatever else is offered.
I just don't appreciate my FIL waving his loaded fork around my nose
asking, "Are you SURE? Are you POSITIVE?" I
highly doubt you'd appreciate it if someone did that to you knowing
full well you didn't like, oh, say steamed broccoli or turnips.
"I think it's also going a little overboard to be repulsed just
by the sight of it." Then how about you take a little trip
down to the land of OZ, and have dinner with some Aborigines?
When they offer you a wriggling grub, remember how overboard it is
to be repulsed at the sight of food you find unpalatable. "I
do agree, though, that they shouldn't rub it in your face whenever
they do eat meat." Gee, thanks. That was my entire
complaint.
RESPONSE: Not Gonna Eat Meat
Posted: 4-SEP-01
I just wanted to say that I understand and I agree
with you. For some reason, being vegetarian is just something
that seems to upset people that don't understand it - like you are
making a statement on their way of life. I understand a bit
how you feel, because I can't stand seafood. I have tried it
over the years, but I just can't stand it, and refuse to eat it.
I don't make a big deal out of it, and have even started telling people
I'm allergic to it (as that's the only "acceptable" excuse).
I dread the encounter with new folks, where we have to go through
the song and dance of "are you sure?" "You should
try salmon. It's really good." Or "Come on,
you're just being silly." It's insulting and demoralizing
for people to assume that you aren't old enough to make decisions
for yourself. I don't scream and shout, "Don't SERVE ME
THAT!" I quietly eat around it, or share it with my husband,
who loves it. Someone, invariably, notices and makes a big deal.
I find it's the same with alcohol. Ever been in a crowd and
refused an alcoholic drink while everyone else imbibes? There's
always some doofus in the crowd that wants to INSIST that you drink
too. Basically, people make choices, and are allowed to have
differing tastes and beliefs. They shouldn't be punished for
it, or forced to see someone else's viewpoint. For your in-laws
to make it such an "issue" is their own fault, and is quite
hurtful. It sounds like your DH is on your side and supportive.
That's good.
RESPONSE: Not Gonna Eat Meat
Posted: 25-SEP-01
I was almost a vegetarian when I got married.
I wouldn't eat any meat except a hamburger (once in a blue moon),
or a pork chop. When I did eat it, I would pick at it, and end
up only eating half. My DH's family loves steak, ribs, and ham.
I would eat the side dishes, and they ridiculed me and put me down.
They just came right out and called me weird. I couldn't take
it. To this day, if I make spaghetti, I eat the pasta and sauce
(and the meat is still sitting on the plate afterwards). Meat
makes me think of the death of the animal, and it repulses me to think
of eating the insides of something. Well, it's my DH who embarrasses
me. He will get right in front of people and try to "make
me" try something. He sticks his fork right in front of
my face, waving it around. I say, "No thank you,"
but he doesn't give up. Finally, I will notice everybody staring
at me, as if to say, "Shut this guy up and just taste it,"
so I do. I hate that. Like the other poster, I hate seafood
too. It stinks, and the texture is disgusting. He made
me taste calamari. And, every single time he gets shrimp, he
waves it in my face. I do know how you feel. Just take
it day by day, and remember how great your DH is for respecting you.
Take Care.
RESPONSE: Not Gonna Eat Meat
Posted: 3-OCT-01
Unlike you, who sound reasonable and principled (you
love animals), some Vegetarians can be plain obnoxious. I'm
thinking of a former friend who was a vegetarian just because.
He decided to eschew meat, but not out of caring for animals.
As a result, we had to wait to order in restaurants while he interrogated
waiters and waitresses to find out how the food was prepared (chicken
broth in a vegetable soup? Oh no, can't have that - and he wasn't
even vegan!). Why? Just because. We would also have
buffets groaning with food at cookouts - potato salad, beans, pasta
salad without meat. He would insist we had to furnish him with
veggie burgers. Why? Just because. And the truly
IRRITATING thing? HE DIDN'T LIKE VEGETABLES, EITHER. He
only liked potatoes. And corn. And broccoli. And
cheese. At our last cookout, we toasted his moving away and
the lack of veggie burgers on the menu.
RESPONSE: Not Gonna Eat Meat
Posted: 18-OCT-01
While not exactly the nicest gift, I have to say that
your DH handled it extremely well (while preventing a fight).
However, knowing (as they do) that you are a vegan makes it a rude
gift, no matter how much it might have been worth.
|
|
Worst gift: Posted: 17-OCT-01
The worst engagement present I got was from my in-laws.
Apparently, a national office supply store was having a sale, because
I got 36 No. 2 Pencils. Yes, the bright yellow wooden
things. And, just in case I didn't have a pencil sharpener,
they gave me theirs from the 70s(?) - used of course. It was
the kind you had in elementary school - it screws into the wall.
Signed - I Hope It Gets
Better Than This
RESPONSE: I Hope It Gets Better Than This
Posted: 18-OCT-01
Hmmm? Maybe they are encouraging you to be a
writer?
|
|
Worst gift: Posted: 18-OCT-01
My MIL and her family don't even try and buy me something
nice. For Christmas, my in-laws gave me 2 pairs of old panty
hose that my SIL had left behind when she lived at home. They
were for 5'3" gals, and I am 5'8". For my birthday,
they gave me a 50 cent 2" plant they picked up from a discount
store. And, one year, my MIL gave me a feather duster.
Oh, and I can't forget the year they gave me a pair of binoculars
that they received free for signing up for some credit card.
I don't ever recall receiving a real gift from them, nor have they
even bothered to wrap the cr@p they give me that they find lying around
the house. Oh yeah, I forgot, they did buy me a nice big sweat
shirt one year. In fact, it was a XXL and I wear a size 6 or
8. When I took it back, I found it was on a clearance rack from
a discount store, and they paid a whopping $1.98 for it. How
hurtful!! Luckily for me, my husband is the most wonderful man
in the world, and has showered me with lovely gifts. But, most
of all, he has showered me with his love. That makes up for
all the hateful and mean things his family has done to me (and continues
to do).
Signed - Such A Nice Man
From Such A Terrible Family??
RESPONSE: Such A Nice Man From Such A Terrible Family??
Posted: 19-OCT-01
Well at least they thought to get you something, even
though they have no tact. I don't know what's wrong with people.
Better to get you nothing than to give you (basically) a slap in the
face. Are they poor people? Maybe that would explain it.
|
|
Worst gift: Posted: 4-OCT-01
My MIL is a "conservationist". She
recycles all right - but it's gifts that she recycles! Once,
she went on a holiday in the beginning of the year and bought a fake
D & G T-shirt for my hubby. He told her that he did not
like the T-shirt and didn't want it. She asked if I wanted it
instead, and I told her politely that the T-shirt was waaay oversized
for me. Guess what I received from her that Christmas?
Yup, that unmistakably HUGE fake D & G T-shirt, complete with
the bad spelling!
Signed - Recyclee (person
who receives from a recycler!)
|
|
Worst gift: Posted: 11-AUG-01
Last year on my birthday, I was 2 days overdue with
our child. It was July. It was hot, and I was down in
the dumps and feeling fat. My birthday came and went, without
even so much as a card or phone call from any in-law family members.
The next day, they did call to annoy me and to ask if I felt any baby
contractions. Then, after my DH was upset with them for ignoring
my birthday, I thought that this year they would really make up for
last year. My MIL made it even worse. She gave me a pair
of used toenail clippers. I get biweekly pedicures so my feet
aren't needing those. What message should I take from these
last two birthdays?
Signed - Barefoot, Pregnant,
and No Gift
RESPONSE: Barefoot, Pregnant, and No Gift
Posted: 18-AUG-01
Oh my God. You must be kidding!! Whatever
you get, pedicures or not, is not the issue. The issue is what
kind of gift is toe nail clippers? They don't exactly come gift
wrapped from Hallmark. I wouldn't even begin to understand what
her intentions were for this gift. But if I were you, I wouldn't
even associate with her. She obviously doesn't think very highly
of you, or even care what you want for your birthday.
RESPONSE: Barefoot, Pregnant, and No Gift
Posted: 26-AUG-01
Your MIL is scum. What is she thinking?
I wouldn't even give a toenail clipper as a gag gift. That is
just plain gross! I suggest that you give her a small package
of emery boards from the local drugstore for her next birthday gift.
Tell her you thought she'd like them because she seems fixated with
nails! There are some people out there that would say you should
just be thankful for whatever gift you get, and just be happy someone
got you a gift. Well, HELLO out there to those folks!!!
Some gifts just smack of being totally insulting and classless.
There is NO WAY you should get her a nice gift on her next birthday.
Some people might say, "Don't stoop to her level," but if
you keep giving her nice gifts when she treats you so badly, then
she will NEVER learn. Good luck!
RESPONSE: Barefoot, Pregnant, and No Gift
Posted: 16-SEP-01
It sound like you are a spoiled brat. She gave
you a gift, it's the thought that counts. Sometime we must show
appreciation for the small things to get the large things.
RESPONSE: Barefoot, Pregnant, and No Gift
Posted: 17-SEP-01
I thought that my DH's grandmother's Christmas gift
a couple years ago (a little basket full of USED sample trial sizes
of lotion, face cream, makeup, etc.) was tasteless, but your MIL and
her toenail clippers really take the cake! In my opinion, if
you have to give a cr@ppy gift like that, don't even bother!
Just a simple card with a $5 bill enclosed (or even no money at all,
for that matter) would be better than a tacky, tasteless gift (especially
if it's used). You know what? Don't even let the no-gift
thing bother you. If she gave you used toenail clippers, imagine
what you'd get if she really put some thought into it! UGH,
perish the thought! LOL.
RESPONSE: Barefoot, Pregnant, and No Gift
Posted: 6-OCT-01
To the September 16th respondent: You are absolutely
right. It is the thought that counts. And anyone with
half a brain can see that the poster's MIL gave NO THOUGHT WHATSOEVER
to this gift!! USED toenail clippers! Did you read that
part? You have a nerve calling the poster a spoiled brat when
it is so obvious that the gift was tasteless, thoughtless, and clearly
meant to hurt her feelings. Could you, by chance, be a MIL?
Whoever you are, get real!!!
RESPONSE: Barefoot, Pregnant, and No Gift
Posted: 6-OCT-01
You are NOT a spoiled brat. Toenail clippers
are a stupid gift, and it was mean. I would wrap them up and
give them to her for Christmas.
RESPONSE: Barefoot, Pregnant, and No Gift
Posted: 6-OCT-01
This is in response to the September 16th response.
You're joking, right? You think she should be grateful for used
nail clippers? The only thought the MIL put into that gift was
to hurt her DIL's feelings.
RESPONSE: Barefoot, Pregnant, and No Gift
Posted: 6-OCT-01
In response to the respondent who called the poster
a "spoiled brat", WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?! There is
no need for nastiness. Were you having a bad day or something?
I don't see how your post added any help or value. If I received
USED toenail clippers as a gift from ANYONE, I would be greatly upset.
How dare you invalidate the poster's very real feelings? You
must be a MIL ("Wendy"? "Mildred"?
"Bethie"?) because only someone who is used to belittling
others and making people feel badly would write such a nasty post.
I suggest you learn something from the latest world events (i.e.,
HATRED), and spew your negativity elsewhere. There's enough
hostility and ignorance in the world without adding to it. J
J J J J J J J J J J J J J J J J
RESPONSE: Barefoot, Pregnant, and No Gift
Posted: 7-OCT-01
To the 9-16-01 respondent: Please tell us when
your birthday is. I would love to chip in to get you a "thoughtful"
gift of used tissues, used toilet paper, some old dental floss, used
underwear, or an old bottle of mouthwash. How about it?
What? That's DISGUSTING, you say? What a spoiled brat
you are! Some people don't appreciate kindness.
|
|
Worst gift: Posted: 6-SEP-01
Worst Gift Stories: I am fortunate compared to
many of the other posters here. My MIL isn't so mean-spirited
when it comes to gifts. She's just whacko. One Christmas,
she gave everyone in the family (DH, his sisters and brothers, and
their spouses) identical nose-hair clippers. Yes, nose-hair
clippers. She had seen on some TV show that these were the best
nose-hair clippers in existence. Isn't that a festive holiday
gift?
Signed - Never Used 'Em
RESPONSE: Never Used 'Em
Posted: 28-SEP-01
Use them as a re-gift - BACK TO HER!! That would
be so funny!!J.
RESPONSE: Never Used 'Em
Posted: 28-SEP-01
Uh??? Yeah??? That's a little strange.
At least she spreads the weirdness around equally.
RESPONSE: Never Used 'Em
Posted: 29-SEP-01
Your story made me laugh, because it actually reminds
me of my own father. My dad is possibly one of THE worst gift
givers I have ever met. He sincerely means well, but has very
poor taste. My brothers and I got so used to getting odd gifts
growing up, I think we have a pretty high tolerance. One of
the funniest gifts he gave to my brothers and my DH (Christmas of
1999) were these tacky Y2K survival packs. It was a big flashlight
thing, with a radio, etc., built in. What's so funny is, out
of the three that he bought, only ONE worked - my DH's!!! We
joked that, had there really been a Y2K meltdown, DH would have been
the only one to survive among the three of them. LOL!
Sometimes gifts are so bad, they are funny. Speaking of Y2K,
my cousins (from my dad's side, bad gift giving must run in their
blood) gave DH and I matching guy/gal Y2K watches with fake diamonds
on it. It was so tacky that we used it as a prank gift to my
BIL and SIL. The watches looked like something that you would
win at one of those carnival game vending machines.
|
|
Worst gift: Posted: 9-AUG-01
Last year I was doing some Christmas shopping at the
mall. I do all the shopping for his and my family, which turns
out to be a burden since they treat me so badly on his side.
His mother's birthday is very close to Christmas, and she freaks if
he doesn't acknowledge it in time, because she is good at gift giving
to him and our children (nothing for me, usually). I found a
really nice pair of 14k gold hoops, and decided they were perfect
for her birthday. I began writing the check at the cash register
when I asked the date. The cashier told me it was the 7th, the
day of the birthday. OUCh. My DH was going to pay for
this. He was thinking it was the 6th, and he couldn't call her
since he was working 12 hours a day. So I called her to save
his butt, to avoid the nasty phone call, and to avoid her getting
out the bullhorn to tell all his family members how horrible he is.
I sang, "Happy Birthday to you", and told her it was from
both of us. She said,"Where's DH?!" I said,
"Oh, he is working, but he'll call you as soon as he gets home.
But it will be late - if that is OK" She started screaming,
"YOU'RE NOT MY SON!" She kept screaming that in my
ear over and over again. And it the midst of my shock, she slammed
the phone in my ear. I told DH that night what she'd done, so
he called her right away and APOLOGIZED for not calling her sooner.
He wished her a happy birthday, had a lovely chat, and ended the conversation.
I told him that I picked those earrings out for her earlier that day.
He said, "Oh, nice." I said, "I don't even have
a pair of gold earrings and I'm keeping them. She is not going
to treat me like that and get something for her birthday that I picked
for her. He then said, "Oh, it's Christmas. Don't
try to ruin it." He then, right in front of me, wrapped
the earrings and sent them to her the next day (she lives an hour
away). To make matters worse, when we did see her to exchange
Christmas presents, I asked her if she ever received anything for
her birthday, since she never said thank you. She gave me a
dirty look and jiggled her ear to show she was wearing them.
And then she complained that they were kind of small for her fat earlobes.
Ahhhhh!!!!! So the worst gift I received last year for Christmas?!
A slap in the face from my DH!!!!
Signed - Not Her Son, I
Can't Win
RESPONSE: Not Her Son, I Can't Win
Posted: 15-AUG-01
This is how I solved it (and the advice came from
my SIL and my sister). I am responsible for my side of the family,
DH is responsible for his. I used to be criticized for the types
of cards I chose, the particular card I sent, the date it arrived
(heaven forbid it arrived more than a day before the birthday), and
on and on. Once I made up my mind to have DH do it, since he
was getting all the accolades and none of the grief (AND he was telling
me to "lighten up" about his mother's continual gripes),
I informed him that he was responsible for mailing all cards to his
family. I handed him a calendar with all his family's birthdays
marked, a box of cards, and a book of stamps. He was angry and
said, "Fine!" Not ONE of those cards got sent!!
Christmas came and I handed him another box of cards - none got sent.
I got phone calls, I got nasty comments, I got whining. You
would think his family couldn't live without those cards. To
every single comment I answered, "Oh, didn't you get one?
We have a new policy - he sends to his family and I send to mine.
You will need to speak to DH." Can you believe no one learned?
Well, I suppose you would. Sure enough, the complaining about
gifts continued, and my DH just kept skating. So, 2 years after
I handed him the cards, I told him he was buying his family's gifts.
Wow! Gift-giving sure did drop!! LOL! And, I even
let him go shopping alone (I took our son when I went). Only
MIL got a gift for the next couple years. Then, he must've gotten
tired of the complaints too, because even that stopped. I offered
that he just call a florist and send her flowers (at considerable
cost, as you all know), but he only did that once. You got it
- she complained. She only got phone calls for the year after
the gifts stopped. Then, he even stopped calling. MILs
like mine never seem to learn. I almost feel sorry for her.
I would STOP being responsible for both families - starting with Christmas
this year.
RESPONSE: Not Her Son, I Can't
Win
Posted: 15-AUG-01
Inform your husband NOW that, from now on, HE can
do the birthday and Christmas shopping for his entire family, especially
for his mom. Explain, calmly, that you feel upset about the
fact that, even though you put time and effort into choosing gifts
for his family, they've never bothered to think of you on YOUR special
days. And this next December, don't bother to remember his mother's
birthday. Let your answering machine deal with her hysterics.
Caller ID and answering machines are a DIL's best friend!
RESPONSE: Not Her Son, I Can't Win
Posted: 15-AUG-01
My blood is boiling just reading your story.
I can't believe the way your MIL treated you, and then your H added
insult to injury. Next year, I wouldn't do a thing about his
mother's birthday. Here you are trying to cover his butt with
his mommy, and he lets you take all her cr@p and then does nothing
to defend you! SCREW THAT!! Let his mommy have a widdle
tantrum next year at him when he forgets to get her anything.
When he asks you why you didn't shop for her, just say, "I'm
not her son, remember?"
RESPONSE: Not Her Son, I Can't
Win
Posted: 15-AUG-01
Your MIL is a B!tch, and her son isn't far off from
that. What a rude woman. She should be thankful that you
at least called her. Her own son didn't remember. How
ungrateful! Don't bother buying her another gift. Let
your husband do that chore. I make mine do it! His mother,
his problem! Don't let her have a chance to insult you!
If he doesn't like it, too bad. He didn't support you before,
why risk it again! She sounds awful!
RESPONSE: Not Her Son, I Can't
Win
Posted: 15-AUG-01
I am so very, very sorry about how your MIL treats
you, and that your DH is not even on your side. Your story nearly
brought me to tears. What a horrible old witch. From now
on, do not shop for his side of the family. Why should you?
It brings you no joy, only more hurt. Let him shop for them.
If he forgets, that's too bad. It's his family, and what do
you have to lose? I would not tolerate the humiliation and the
hurt that this has caused you. I think you should take this
up with your husband, and tell him that you will not allow his mother
to talk to you like that, and you will not stand for him downplaying
your feelings. As a matter of fact, I think you should go shopping
and buy yourself something nice to compensate for what you are lacking
(what you gave up when you were generous enough to take time and money
to buy a gift for an ungrateful old hag). Good luck to you,
and if you get the notion, slap her for ME, if nothing else.
RESPONSE: Not Her Son, I Can't Win
Posted: 15-AUG-01
STOP SHOPPING FOR YOUR IN-LAWS. Let your husband
take over that responsibility. And don't make birthday calls
- or any other calls - to "save his butt." Your DH
is an adult. If he wants to maintain a healthy relationship
with his parents, then he will do so. He'll call them, get them
gifts, etc., if he wants to. If he doesn't, then that's his
choice. And you are not responsible for his choice about how
to treat his own parents. Take yourself out of the loop.
I think that you'll then save yourself from being the fall-guy when
he forgets to call, send a gift, etc.
RESPONSE: Not Her Son, I Can't Win
Posted: 16-AUG-01
You have my condolences, dear. Your DH is a
certified mama's boy and a wimp. He won't even speak up for
himself, much less speak up for his wife who gets crapped on by his
Mommy. What I want to know is: How long are you prepared
to go on being treated like a second-class citizen in your DH's life?
You deserve better than this kind of treatment! You're much
too nice to that old witch, and way too tolerant of your husband.
He won't even say anything when his dear old mommy constantly leaves
you out of the gift-giving at Christmas! You SHOULD have kept
the earrings yourself, and your husband was a jerk to take them away
after you announced that you weren't giving them to his selfish mommy.
Please don't EVER let him get away with that cr@p again - tell him
to get off his butt and find his own damn present for his mommie dearest.
Why were YOU running around getting gifts for that hag, anyway?
Let her son take care of it, as he should have been doing in the first
place. Don't remind him of her birthday anymore, and don't cover
his @ss when he forgets (and believe me, if YOU weren't doing the
gift shopping, it would NEVER get done - it would serve the b!tch's
withered old @Ss right). It's HIS mother, and HIS duty to get
her a gift if he thinks she deserves it so much. Just because
he ACTS like a little boy, doesn't mean he IS one. Let him grow
up for a change. God knows, his mommy's not about to do that.
And does your husband really think that your kids don't notice that
everyone, EXCEPT mom, gets great presents from the monster-in-law?
If I were you, I wouldn't spend birthdays OR holidays with her.
How much fun is it for you to watch everyone else open presents while
you get insulted by a jealous shrew? Let your hubby go over
there with some cr@ppy presents he found at the dollar store just
because he was in a hurry. And, shame on him for not getting
YOU a nice pair of earrings for all the years you put up with that
old bag without giving her a swift boot in the @Ss! And, just
because the MIL gives everyone else nice things is no excuse for her
treatment of you. When the kids ask why you don't get anything,
direct their questions to the certified wimp, and watch him stammer
out a pathetic explanation. Kids are smarter than you think.
Chances are, in the next few years, the DH will be making his Christmas
visits to the hag's house alone, because the kids won't be able to
stand her either.
RESPONSE: Not Her Son, I Can't Win
Posted: 20-AUG-01
She's not your mom, and you're not her daughter -
a situation she obviously delights in. You can learn something
from this, and achieve freedom, to wit: Stop buying her presents.
DH can take care of it. And if he doesn't, he'll deserve her
wrath. She's justified in giving him cr@p for not remembering
her birthday. He's justified in not giving her anything if she
expects it. Stay out of it. That's my advice. You're
danged if you do and danged if you don't, but at least you won't have
spent minutes of your life trying to make a miserable woman happy.
RESPONSE: Not Her Son, I Can't Win
Posted: 9-SEP-01
When I got married, I had grand dreams of both of
us being an integral part of two families, and I tried so hard to
integrate DH into mine. They live in another city, and meet
us once in six months. They are caring towards him, so it should
have been easy, right? We were living in before marriage, so
we decided that, of our three week holiday, we should spend about
a week at my parent's place. The other half would have to be
spent with his parents. Still, my parents insisted we have a
short honeymoon too. It went all wrong. He was touchy,
irritable, and really hurting. Now, four years later, he says
he was angry and hurt, because we did not have a honeymoon, but went
to my parent's place for three days. This, when I wanted him
to get to know them, and he had agreed to it. His parents live
in the same city, and we were visiting them thrice a week despite
our hectic schedule (we are both surgeons). For birthdays in
my family, since we were far away, I ended up not getting any gifts,
only cards. And if I did have to, I would keep asking him for
his opinion (not that he turned out to be very helpful). For
birthdays in his family, I would ask him in advance about what to
buy. The moon and the stars, of course. On being asked
to consider our bank accounts, he would sulk for days and pooh-pooh
every suggestion of mine. Finally I would, in sheer desperation
to avoid being labeled the careless bitch, get something. Not
just "something", but a gift with lots of thought and effort.
He never approved of any, always thought it too "beneath them",
sort of. Well, I finally gave up and refused to get a gift for
his brother's birthday. Can you believe it? He forgot
all about it. I gave a cash gift to BIL, explained how it was
that there wasn't anything for him this time, and sent him a sms claiming
to be from DH, just to cover his @Ss I did it for his anniversary
too, which was the next event in the family. After that, for
FIL's birthday, I got a gift and stuff on my own, didn't ask DH, and
he hasn't criticized me ever since. Isn't it too bad that it
should come to this pass?
RESPONSE: Not Her Son, I Can't Win
Posted: 2-OCT-01
Please read this carefully: Nothing will change
when you get married. It will only get worse. I know.
I've been living it for 2 1/2 years now. I thought I could change
DH, but I was SO wrong. Now I live in fear, and wonder when
DH's parents will decide to visit.
|
|
Worst gift: Posted: 23-SEP-01
I've received so many bad gifts from my in-laws that
it is difficult to choose just one! So, I'll tell you about
a couple of them! First there was the poodle toilet brush holder.
Even IF I was a person who would use it, it was bright pink and my
bathrooms are both blue! And, yes, it was only the holder -
no actual toilet brush in it!! Then, there is the Christmas
that I received body hair removal cream - yup, you heard correctly.
Facial hair removal cream. Though I am a very polite person,
I could not get even slightly enthused over it. When I opened
it (in front of the whole family), I simply said, "Oh, hair removal
cream. Thank you," and looked at the next person.
Then, there is my all time favorite gift. It was three lipsticks.
No, not nice designer lipsticks that I might have enjoyed (although,
buying lipstick for someone as a gift is pretty weird in itself!)
- they were orange, pink and white!! These babies went out of
style in the 60's!! I couldn't even give them to the women's
shelter - I just threw them away! Last Christmas DH, DD, and
I received sweat suits. The prices were left on them - $6 for
each piece from a wholesale club. They were all too small -
well, actually the one they bought for hubby was large enough for
DD - she wears it to lounge in. They are equal opportunity bad-gift-buyers
- they don't buy their son anything better than they buy for me!!
However, they do go all out for their DD's family - last year (the
year of the sweat suits) they bought their daughter and SIL a snow
blower!! We've been together for 13 years. For the first
ten years, I really knocked myself out buying gifts for them.
I like buying gifts, but when they are reciprocated with cr@p, then
it gets tiring. A couple of years ago, I told DH he was on his
own for gifts for his family. Sad to say, he hasn't bought them
one gift since then. It has been hard for me to live with this,
but I haven't broken down and bought them anything! This is
wayyy too long, but I just wanted to say one more thing: These
people are NOT poor! In fact, they are very wealthy - FIL was
able to retire at age 45, even though he still dabbles in real estate.
And MIL never had to work. So it is NOT a money thing!
Thanks for letting me get this off my chest!
Signed - May-As-Well Laugh
at My In-Laws Gifts!!
|
|
Worst gift: Posted: 24-SEP-01
Worst gift ever from MIL - She went to the Salvation
Army and bought me a 25 cent tablecloth - with a hole in the middle.
Then, she wondered why we never used it.
Signed - Try to Grin and
Bear It
|
|
Worst gift: Posted: 24-SEP-01
On my 1st wedding anniversary, my MIL gave us a llama.
It was a wonderful, humorous gift. The trouble was that my husband,
new baby, and I lived in a city apartment. But, of course, she
had intended this eccentric "gift" to live on her daughter's
hobby farm in a rural community that is located 3 hours from our dwelling.
My response to her, "Gee thanks, your daughter's kids will love
it!"
Signed - Your Daughter's
Kids Will Love It!
|
|
|
|
Working Women Don't Have Wives