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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Worst gift: Posted: 7-NOV-01
My MIL gave me a sweater for Xmas that was given to
her the year before. And the year after that, she gave me a
device that you plug in to keep MICE away. I don't even have
mice.
Signed - I Don't Even Have
Mice
RESPONSE: I Don't Even Have Mice
Posted: 12-NOV-01
Buy dead mice from the pet-shop (for feeding snakes)
and show them to her as proof of how effective her mousetrap was.
And, get her the biggest, nastiest rat-trap you can find for Christmas.
Either that, or a free visit from a fumigating service. Hit
the ol' bag where it hurts!!! Heh, heh, heh!
RESPONSE: I Don't Even Have Mice
Posted: 12-NOV-01
She sounds loopy. Maybe you will soon be visited
by mice from her. I don't know - she's just weird.
RESPONSE: I Don't Even Have Mice
Posted: 13-NOV-01
You may not have mice, but be assured you have a big
rat problem. Make sure you find the right bait to solve this
one.
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Worst gift: Posted: 30-OCT-01
I don't really care whether my MIL gives me a gift
or not, but she recently topped herself by bringing a box full of
toys to my 2 year old daughter's birthday party, and then TAKING THEM
BACK HOME! They were new toys, some still in shrink wrap.
Fortunately, my daughter got busy playing with other toys she was
given and did not miss these when they were taken away. Also,
she has the attention span of a 2 year old. I dread her 4th
or 5th birthday, when she will want to know why grandma is being so
mean.
Signed - Maybe I Won't
Invite Her Next Birthday
RESPONSE: Maybe I Won't Invite Her Next Birthday
Posted: 4-NOV-01
What the heck was her reasoning for that? My
father has some toys for the grandchildren to play with at his house,
but that is where they stay. He didn't show them off and then
take them home.
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Worst gift: Posted: 1-NOV-01
Worst gifts from ILs: BIL gave DH a set of four
fish-head soda can holders! They were yucky plastic with green
and silver bumpy things (with eyes opened and all)! They were
sooooo gross. They went in the trash the very next day.
One year, he gave DH a bass-fishing game. DH hasn't fished in
years, and doesn't intend to. BIL, on the other hand, loves
to fish. Another gift from BIL was a remote control holder that
was put together as a cat - the kind you lay over the arm of a chair.
It, too, was just so off the wall. It's like he doesn't even
know what DH likes or is interested in! MIL didn't even acknowledge
our wedding with a gift. That was 4 1/2 years ago. But,
she crows about how she bought DH and his 1st wife a washer and dryer
that we still used up until a few months ago when the dryer died.
She got all upset about asking what was wrong with it! MIL gives
me blouses that she bought 2 years before, and makes fun of how big
they have to be. She also got me an Alaskan knife for my birthday
after DH told her we had bought one on our Alaskan cruise for our
honeymoon! Oh, but what do we get these two for their gifts?
BIL gets at least a $50 gift certificate to his favorite fishing/camping/hunting
store every year, along with either a nice shirt or new fleece jacket.
MIL always gets at least $40 worth of specialty chocolate, plus DH
usually makes her something such as a curio cabinet, a shadow box,
a jewelry box, etc. One year, the gift certificate for BIL was
late getting here, and he had the guts to whine about it!!!!
Signed - He Had The Guts
To Whine About It!!!
RESPONSE: He Had The Guts To Whine About It!!!
Posted: 4-NOV-01
I wouldn't put much thought into gift giving this year
for your ILs. They obviously don't have you and your DH in mind
when they are choosing gifts. Take the money you save on gifts
and have a nice night out with your DH.
RESPONSE: He Had The Guts To Whine
About It!!!
Posted: 4-NOV-01
I'm sorry - I had to laugh about those can holders.
They sound gross. A great thing to give at our white elephant
exchange! LOL! BUT, you are serious, and I am sorry you
folks are getting such lousy gifts. If I were you, I would cut
back a bit on your gifts. No sense giving such nice ones in
your situation. Just scale them back 'til you feel a bit better.
Ours got scaled back to nothing. LOL! When DH and I married,
DH asked MIL if his side was giving a wedding shower. We were
just trying to make sure everything would work out time-wise.
He was told by MIL that his family would feel that they already gave
him a shower when he married his first wife (30 years before), and
he isn't entitled to a second wedding shower. ROFL! My
DH said he sure was glad that was my reaction. I laughed 'til
I cried. So, then my son was born a few years later, and I said
to MIL, "Guess your side won't be giving me a baby shower either,
huh, since you gave one for his first wife's first child 25 years
ago?" She looked at me kind of funny, like she couldn't
tell if I was being sarcastic or not. My DH was just about falling
off his chair trying not to laugh. MIL said, "Well, it's
true that DH has already had his "first child shower", and
I think the family would resent having to give him another gift."
I couldn't stop from laughing at that point. My MIL turned to
DH and said, "I told you - she laughs at the strangest times."
Then, she got mad because DH started laughing, too. Oh, well.
I haven't always laughed about ILs. I have wasted many a tear
on them. But, I have learned not to set myself up for bad feelings.
I would recommend you cut those gifts back all the way to nothing
if that would make you and your DH feel better.
RESPONSE: He Had The Guts To Whine About It!!!
Posted: 5-NOV-01
Well, to be truthful, it sounds like you are jealous
of your BIL and the way MIL coddles him. However, I can also
see how your BIL's whining would be irritating. My BIL has been
known to be an ungrateful brat. Last year for his son's birthday,
I bought him a bunch of toys and clothes and mailed it to his house
(we live two states away). When he got it, he actually complained
to my DH about the clothes not being "name brand" (I had
bought some brands from well known, nationwide stores - I thought
the clothes were cute). I couldn't believe it! No thank
you, or anything. Truthfully, I don't even think that my nephew
even got to wear anything that I bought him (t-shirts and shorts)
due to the fact that the clothes were not "name brand".
Well, BIL and SIL just had another baby last month. We live
six hours away from them. And, when my SIL returned home from
the hospital, I called to congratulate her, and to see how she was
doing. Last week my BIL called DH and complained that we should
have sent a card and present for his wife and the new baby.
Even my DH was annoyed, because we had already bought a couple of
cute outfits for the baby as soon as we heard, but we will not be
able to see them until two weeks from now for Thanksgiving vacation,
and we are going to bring our presents then. BTW, this time
we bought "name brands" (since he made such a big stink
last time about the brand). Now I feel like throwing the gifts
at his face for being such a jerk to complain the way he does.
We always get nice gifts for BIL, SIL and their son (and now daughter),
but they have never gotten us anything nice. We always go out
of our way to get them something thoughtful, and in return, they usually
stop by the outlet mall on the way to Christmas at MIL's and grab
something there. In fact, they are not even wrapped (this includes
their gifts for the rest of the family too)! Two years ago,
when DH and I lived in the southeast, we bought a beautiful mirror
with a handcrafted metal frame (it was expensive for our budget) that
we thought would be a wonderful housewarming gift for BIL and SIL's
new house. Well, when we gave it to them, my SIL was thrilled
- she loved it. But BIL did not seem to like it. He did
not even say thank you. Keep in mind, it took a lot of trouble
to make sure the mirror made it three states back in one piece.
Last time we were at their house (they moved into a another new house),
we noticed that the mirror was nowhere to be seen. DH and I
were so annoyed. DH was tempted to ask for the mirror back,
especially since we really like it ourselves. Last year, we
could not make it home for the holidays due to the bad weather, so
we brought everyone's Christmas gifts with us when we visited a few
months later. It turns out that since we were not there for
Christmas, my BIL decided to return the gifts (shirts from the outlet
mall again) to the store! I am not upset about the shirts, but
I am upset about his attitude to just return the gifts, since we were
not able to make it for the holiday. That is how cheap and thoughtless
he is! In fact, nobody (MIL, FIL, BIL, SIL) said thank you for
their gifts. I actually asked SIL if MIL gave them the gifts
(we dropped them off at MIL's). He said that, instead, he would
get us a nice housewarming gift, which I pretty much just assumed
to mean that we were never getting anything. Well, when he,
SIL, and their son came to visit us at our new house a few months
ago, he did not bring anything, as expected. Keep in mind, this
guy is not hurting for money (he is a VP at a well known company,
and definitely lives, drives, and dresses the part). He is so
selfish that he spends extravagant amounts of money on himself buying
name brand items. When he arrived at our house, he insisted
that I move my car out of the garage so HE could park his luxury car
there instead of parking it on street (because he was convinced that
someone would try to steal it). We laughed, and told him to
deal with it. He ran out to check on his car every two hours,
despite the fact that DH and I commented that we have seen people
park other luxury cars on the street without problems before.
When my DH jokingly asked him about the nonexistent housewarming gift,
my BIL commented that he wasn't going to get us one, because my DH
had sold some old speakers that he (BIL) had given DH many years ago
(since then, BIL has bought three new sets of speakers). DH
spent the money, that he got for the speakers, on day lilies for our
rock garden in our front lawn. So, BIL thought that was adequate
(he thought that the flowers were a waste of money, and actually wanted
his speakers back!). He said that the day lilies counted as
HIS housewarming gift! This year, we are only getting gifts
for our niece and nephew, and we are not going to even bother getting
anything for BIL and SIL. They, obviously, do not care for the
gifts we buy them, and they, obviously, think it is too difficult
to buy family members sincere gifts. I will not punish their
kids by not getting them gifts, but I am tired of my BIL's and SIL's
attitude towards us and gifts. My BIL is obviously too caught
up with himself. It is difficult to believe that he has a wife
and two children. He acts like an immature sixteen year old.
What's worse, is that DH and I are trying to conceive #1. And,
when I was shopping for a gift for our new niece, my DH kept commenting
that I was wasting my time, because he says his brother is such a
jerk that, when we have kids, BIL probably wouldn't buy our kids anything.
Sadly, this is probably true. And, I think it is too bad that
my DH, who is normally such a generous person, feels this way.
Sorry this is so long.
RESPONSE: He Had The Guts To Whine About It!!!
Posted: 8-NOV-01
To the November 5th respondent. I can't believe
you told the poster that she sounds like she is jealous because her
MIL coddles her BIL. Where the heck do you get that? Then,
you go on and on about your own problems with your BIL. Maybe
it is you who is jealous, and you are projecting your own emotions
onto this poster. Or, maybe you both have jerky BILs and you
could be a little more understanding, considering you are pretty much
in the same boat. Sheesh.
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Worst gift: Posted: 5-NOV-01
Yup: I'm a scientist working at the cutting edge
of artificial intelligence, writing papers, giving seminars, etc.,
etc. What did MIL give me for Xmas? A cute little peg
basket for hanging up all of hubby's shirts nicely!
Signed - Basket Full Of
Frustration
RESPONSE: Basket Full Of Frustration
Posted: 8-NOV-01
Your story sounds like mine. I am a second year
medical resident, and I got a new ironing board for the holidays.
RESPONSE: Basket Full Of Frustration
Posted: 9-NOV-01
That's hilarious. What are you going to do with
it? I'd give it away. J
My mother sent me a hideous clothespin bag for my birthday (grrr),
and my MIL was appalled that I gave it away as fast as I did (no respect!!).
OOOOOOooooh, here's an idea: I'm guessing she's not a rocket-scientist,
so how about giving her a book on quantum physics or something for
her next birthday!? It's fun to think about, even if you don't
do it. J
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Worst gift: Posted: 30-OCT-01
I've been married for 13 years. My MIL has had
a chip on her shoulder for the majority of that time. She seemed
to like me, at first, but then something changed. What it was,
I haven't a clue. For the past 7 years now, she has stopped
her visits to our house. She has another DIL, too, who coincidentally
arrived in the picture around the time she stopped having much to
do with my DH and I. I used to care and wonder what it was that
we did to her to make her stop coming over or having much to do with
us. A friend suggested that maybe she's scared of losing my
DH, who isn't in the best of health, and that maybe she was distancing
herself from him to make it less painful, in the event that something
happens to him. We don't have any kids. My DH's brother
has one child. I used to be jealous of the fact that they had
a child and we could not, so I didn't like my SIL. Just recently,
however, we have become friends! Now, we compare our witchy
MIL stories. I wanted to share the most recent one with you.
My MIL and I work together, and she gives me a ride to work.
One day, she pulled up just as I had come out of my house. I
had just shut/locked the front door. She was carrying a restaurant
take out box, and I said that I had already locked the door.
She has a copy of our house key on her keys. Instead of getting
her copy for me, she said, "Fine, if you don't want it, I'll
throw it in the trash!" And, she threw it in the trash
can in front of my house!!!! I was boiling, and I said, "Why
do you gotta be so damned b!tchy?!" That is just one example
of MIL. Need I say more?
Signed - Gave Up A Long
Time Ago
( respond to this story )
( here is my story )
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Worst gift: Posted: 1-OCT-01
My MIL gave me a rather cheap, chipped glass ashtray
for Christmas. I don't smoke - Never Have. Perhaps she
is hinting for my demise!
Signed - NON-Smoker
RESPONSE: Nonsmoker
Posted: 30-OCT-01
An ashtray when you don't smoke - nice! My husband
and I were both smokers when my delightful MIL bought me a pack of
200 duty free cigarettes from her holiday in Europe. As she
handed them to me, she explained that she hadn't bought my husband
any, as she hadn't wanted to encourage him to get cancer. I
stood speechless as she walked away with a smug smile on her face.
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Worst gift: Posted: 20-OCT-01
I consider myself to be attentive when it comes to
gift giving. I'm always making mental notations throughout the
year on what certain people may like to receive. I'm probably
doing it subconsciously. So, naturally, when it comes to my
BF's family, I go all out. One of the biggest problems is that
my future MIL (ugh, perish the thought) will tell you straight to
your face not to get her anything, because no one knows what she likes,
and she'll probably hate what you get her anyway! Nice holiday
spirit, huh? What ever happened to "It's the thought that
counts"?? Anyway, since she said that, I have made sure
to get her, or at least make her, something that I KNOW she will actually
like. BUT, every year she takes all of maybe 2 seconds to look
at the gift before she pushes it aside without the slightest bit of
a smile on her face (and not even a mumbled thank you)! Not
only that, but when she greets us at the door for any holiday, we
had better not dare expect a hug or even an HELLO! No way!
That would be a greeting you'd receive from a very warm, or just plain
normal, person! Instead, she'd say something like, "Oh,
about time you got here," or, "Oh, I didn't think you were
coming, it's so late now!" Blah blah blah. To make
a long story a little shorter, while she and her children open all
their gifts, I sit there (without anything to drink/eat because I
wasn't offered a single thing - not even a cup of water!) trying to
force a fake smile on my face until it happens - the worst moment
of my life every year - the time when she graces me with my gift from
her!!!! Are you ready to read this? OK, she gives me this
ridiculous, completely thoughtless "gift" that I wouldn't
even give to a shelter to use, with the $3.99 price tag still stuck
to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not a selfish person, and
I do know and believe in the meaning of Christmas. I was also
raised to be polite (maybe TOO polite), but what is this woman thinking?
She also signs the gift card "Mrs. X." !!! Can you
get much colder than that????????????????????????????????????
I could go on and on, but the more specific I am, the easier this
will be recognized, and then my life will be more of a he!!!
Sad thing is, my BF knows, inside, how upset I get, but he'll turn
around and look at the gift and say, "Wow, that's really nice!",
and he'll really mean it too! Am I crazy, or is this woman trying
to tell me something?? She's got more money than she could ever
know what to do with, too.
Signed - My Future With
The Ice Queen
RESPONSE: My Future With The Ice Queen
Posted: 21-OCT-01
She sounds like a dysfunctional, miserable person!
Are you SURE you want a future with this boyfriend? Believe
me, other guys will come along!
RESPONSE: My Future With The Ice Queen
Posted: 21-OCT-01
Is there any possible way that you can move far away
from this woman? Believe me, it only gets worse. My MIL
has never forgiven me for "taking away her son". And,
when my husband and I moved 600 miles away to save our marriage, she
decided she absolutely hated me. My husband and I have a wonderful
relationship, but it was such a strain when we lived in the same small
town with his mom and sisters, too. Don't get me started on
them! I love my husband very much. He's happy. We
have beautiful children. The only reason she has to hate me
is that she never wanted him to marry. She wanted him to wait
on her forever. She is coming to visit again tomorrow (she visits
every 3 months for almost a week), and I am almost physically ill
thinking about it. Complaining to your DH/BF usually just causes
problems for the two of you. So try your best to ignore her,
and don't bother with the presents next year!!
RESPONSE: My Future With The Ice Queen
Posted: 23-OCT-01
I think the future MIL is trying to tell you something
- you are not what she dreamed for her son. (sorry). Wait until
you have a baby and he/she gets married. You'll understand then.
Try some love and extra attention towards this woman, who is losing
her role as mom and doesn't know what lies ahead. Try some kindness
and make her feel valued. She might come around.
RESPONSE: My Future With The Ice Queen
Posted: 23-OCT-01
It is hard, but simple. STOP buying her a gift.
Leave it to DH. That is what I do. I, too, get offered
not even a cup of water, so I simply get up and say, "I'm just
going to make myself a cuppa. Anyone else want one?"
My MIL always says no and looks put out, but I ignore her and make
myself a cuppa. I am like your MIL, in that I have told her
repeatedly not to get me a gift, because clothes are a personal choice.
She loves buying me underwear, PJs, etc., in the wrong size and very
unflattering colors. She thinks she is treating me like a daughter.
But since it is all a sham, it means nothing to me. My MIL,
until very recently, insisted on hugging me and kissing me, even though
she doesn't hug and kiss my DH. She ignored my stiff response
for years, and kept on doing it. I hated it, because it was
all for show. I am not a fake. If I don't like someone,
I am honest enough not to hug them and slobber all over them.
Seems to me that your MIL's dislike of you is being made quite clear.
Give up on her, and save yourself the grief. I am. This
year will be the first Xmas where I will not be present. It
will not be the last. As a present to myself, I will only spend
Xmas with those who love me and care about me. DH understands,
and will pop in for 30 minutes with the kids on Xmas day to say hi,
and pick up the presents - ha, ha. Then, off to my family for
a loving, happy celebration.
RESPONSE: My Future With The Ice Queen
Posted: 26-OCT-01
Why buy her anything? She has already told you
she doesn't want a present, yet you insist on buying her something.
One poster earlier disliked being given Xmas gifts by her MIL after
asking her not to. She sounds like an extremely ungracious woman,
to be sure. But you're the one who buys her things when you
don't have to. Respect her request to lay off the presents.
Next time, say that you took note of her wishes. Maybe just
give her a card instead - or tell your husband to buy her something
if he feels he should. If your MIL insisted on buying you presents
after you insisted you didn't want one, no matter how nice the gift
was, you'd probably feel annoyed. You're just giving her another
excuse to be rude and wasting your money in the process.
RESPONSE: My Future With The Ice Queen
Posted: 26-OCT-01
Have you ever considered that, maybe, she treats everyone
the same way around the holidays? Have you noticed how she treats
other people when they are greeted at the door? Does she ask
anyone else if they want food or drink? What kind of presents
does she get everyone besides you? Does she act like this all
year round (example: birthdays, etc.)? Now, if the answers
to these questions are yes, then perhaps she really is an ice queen.
On the other hand, if she only does this around Christmas, Thanksgiving,
etc., then maybe she really doesn't like the hoildays. Of course,
this doesn't excuse it. But, I may have a solution. Instead
of really trying to make bah humbug lady come around, beat her at
her own game. You have been trying the entire time to give her
a gift she likes - this isn't going to happen. She is so stuck
in this slum that, even if you gave her something she really likes,
she isn't going to admit it anyway! You have 2 choices.
You can continue shopping your heart out (not getting anything in
return), or you can stop trying, and get her whatever you want without
even thinking about whether she will like it. If she is only
going to get you something worth $3.99, get her something worth the
same amount. After all, it's the thought that counts.
You can always do what certain people in my family do for my grandmother.
They get her the same thing every year - a gift basket (you know the
kind, meat, cheese, whatever). She hates it. But nothing
says "hard to buy for" more than the same gift every year.
As for the food and drink issue, either speak up and ask for something
(if you're thirsty, you're thirsty), or, get up and get it yourself.
Either way, it will at least get her attention. Better yet,
get it before everyone starts opening presents. Don't get dehydrated
waiting for Ms. Impolite to say something. Personally, I wouldn't
sweat it. If she wants to have a cr@ppy attitude, it is her
loss! Don't let her bad attitude spoil your holiday. I'm
sure you remember 1 gift you received that you didn't care for, but
pretended to like. Maybe she doesn't know how to pretend, or
maybe she doesn't know how to be grateful. Just keep in mind
that you don't have to suffer because of her. If she is that
hard to please, you're not going to be able to please her no matter
what you get her. Enjoy your holiday. Thank her for your
$3.99 present, and call her bah humbug b!tch when she isn't looking.
RESPONSE: My Future With The Ice Queen
Posted: 27-OCT-01
I would like to hear more about the October 1 poster's
situation (did I get that date right). The one who didn't like
her MIL hugging her. I'm sure I don't understand the situation
just from that one post. Are you sure she wasn't reaching out
to you, that she didn't want a good relationship with you? That's
ONE thing I really like about my MIL - she hugs me, and doesn't mind
if I hug her. You could say this is fake, etc., but I think
of it as comfort and an attempt at good will. I guess I'm a
hugger. If I hug someone, although I'm an awkward person, it's
because I mean well toward them, and WANT things to be good with them.
I guess if things are awkward, someone could think it was "fake".
But, I think it would be wrong to judge it that way. I think
it would be a lot worse, and more hurtful, to refuse to hug my relatives
(it always seems like hugs do a little to mend hurt feelings, etc.,
even in troubled relationships). When my father died, my cousin,
who I've had a lot of trouble getting along with, gave me a big, long
hug despite our problems. And, I deeply appreciated it.
You know, I'll take a hug any time (except from creepy men who have
"ulterior motives"!), and assume there is at least a little
bit of good will behind it. But, I think there is more to this
poster's story. Are you the one whose MIL went chasing after
your DH on his first day of work to make sure he stopped and gave
her a hug? Yikes! I think we've corresponded before, and
I do remember THAT story!
RESPONSE: My Future With The Ice Queen
Posted: 30-OCT-01
Please don't feel badly about the October 23 poster.
I think she is the MIL who wrote in, unhappy about the young woman
her son is planning to marry (another post). That was kind of
an unhelpful post. Maybe she's right, and your BF's mother would
come around if treated with kindness. But, I DID treat my MIL
with kindness, and she just exploited it until I had to distance myself.
But, that's a long story. Don't let the MIL's response get you
down. She's only speaking from her own experience - not liking
her DIL. You have a whole different situation.
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Worst gift: Posted: 24-SEP-01
Worst Gift. At my wedding shower, my MIL gave
me kitchen glasses. What's wrong with kitchen glasses?
Well, when I opened up the box, I recognized my own handwriting on
the box. But it wasn't until I pulled the gift out of the box
that I realized that they were my own personal, used kitchen glasses.
My husband had stored them in my MIL's garage until we moved into
our apartment together. I couldn't believe it. She had
given my own glasses back to me. I guess at least she had wrapped
them nicely!
Signed - Recycled Giver
RESPONSE: Recycled Giver
Posted: 18-OCT-01
I'm sorry, but this story made me laugh so hard and
gave me great memories of my childhood. My cousin always used
to give my granddad his own stuff back for Christmas. It was
wrapped nicely, of course - it was a gag gift. Everyone laughed,
except for grandpa, come to think of it.
RESPONSE: Recycled Giver
Posted: 30-OCT-01
Your story is just too funny! I, myself, have
given recycled gifts a few times (when someone has given me something
that I don't like/can't use). Your MIL is so tacky! She
should keep better track of where the gift that she has recycled came
from. In this case, though, it is obvious that it was intentional.
What a b!tch!
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Working Women Don't Have Wives