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Frequent Fry HerTM
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I Miss My Hubby
MIL Age: 50

Give up all hope of peace so long as your mother-in-law is alive.

I can't live like this!

frequent fry her - imissmyhubby Frequent Fry Her TM. - imissmyhubby /Posted: 3-NOV-08
Last year, during the holidays, my MIL was anything but cooperative.  So, what I decided to do was to give in to what she wanted for one year.  I was 8 months pregnant during Thanksgiving, and I still made a huge, delicious Thanksgiving dinner for her, when I had a perfectly good invitation to go elsewhere.  She refused to have us over to her house because it was too dirty, so I made the dinner.  Too nice.  Then, my DS was born 5 days before Christmas and we didn't plan to do anything for Christmas Day, except hang out at home.  Well, we gave in and let her come over on Christmas Day, and I decided that my DH would cook a pot roast in the crock pot.  It's so easy, a monkey can do it!  When he was trying to make it, she kept telling him how to do it, and trying to get him to add some disgusting, weird things to the roast.  So, I made him take the baby, and I made the darn roast.  Keep in mind that this was 5 days after I'd had a c-section.  Shouldn't someone have said, "Go rest!"?  I think so.  Well, the roast was cooking for a long time and I got so tired and was in so much pain that I went into my bedroom with my newborn son, and just hid from everyone.  I watched some Christmas movies.  DD came into my room.  We were all having a wonderful time.  I was very happy, when she barged in and wanted to hang out.  I said, "I have to nurse the baby now, so if you don't mind, " trying to get her to leave.  She then turned her head for a split second and went on to watch my son nurse.  If that wasn't creepy enough, she started asking me tons of questions about it, since she didn't nurse her son.  I answered them, and was very uncomfortable.  Luckily, DH came in and made her leave!  I stayed in my room even longer, and it was very nice to be with my children and relax.  After the baby was asleep, I was going to check on the roast, which was almost done.  When I walked into the dining room, I saw MIL and DH sitting down to a nice Christmas dinner without me.  That was horrible, but I got my plate of food, sat down, and ate without saying a word to either one.  Then, I went back to my room.  It was the worst Christmas I have ever had, and this year will not be the same.

        Signed - Starting To Hate The Holidays
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frequent fry her - imissmyhubby Frequent Fry Her TM. - imissmyhubby, 1 of 4 needed /Posted: 24-OCT-08
When DH came home for 2 weeks before being gone for a deployment, he, of course, let his mom come over and see him.  Now, she moved to a new house 2 years ago and still hasn't invited us over, because she says that her house is not put away/clean enough.  Every stinking holiday, etc., she all but demands that she be invited to my house or my parents house, and we always try to accommodate her.  She also only has three people in her life - all family, no friends.  DH is one, then there is her mother (that's a rocky relationship) and her sister (another rocky one).  So, she plays the pity card and tells anyone who will listen that she doesn't want to be alone and that she has no one else.  She came over to see my DH, and immediately began accusing him of being "different" because he has just been training for one month.  She said that he had "anger problems" and that he was acting strange.  He denied it, and was a little peeved, but tried not to show it, and tried to have a good time.  Then, she began crying hysterically and asking if he loved her, if she would ever see him again, where he was going, and what he was doing in Iraq.  She also wanted his address, etc.  At that time, he didn't have answers for most of those questions, so he blatantly said, "I don't know!"  She got even more hysterical and said, "You don't love me.  Are you lying to me?  Do you just not want me around?  Do you just not want me to have your address when you're gone?  Are you going to talk to me when you're in Iraq?"  At that point, he got angry and told her to stop.  He said that if she didn't, he would leave.  While he was gone training the month prior, I tried to get in touch with her and she never called back. So, I assumed that she didn't want to talk to me.  Right before my hubby came back, MIL called my parents and did nothing but bad mouth me to them.  She told them that she needed to see the grandkids.  Ridiculous!  He was very angry about this, so he decided to bring it up at that moment as well.  I was in the laundry room at the time and couldn't hear any of this.  DH came in and asked me for help.  He wanted me to tell her what she had done wrong.  All I said was, "Please don't call my parents ever again.  It's not your place to talk to them about these things."  At that, she erupted and began yelling at us.  She started fighting with us about everything from DH's childhood to the fact that I had painted my kitchen yellow.  It was insane!  We just told her to leave.  She refused, and continued fighting in front of our infant DS and 4 year old DD.  I had enough and told her calmly that if she didn't leave, I would call the police.  She started crying again and eventually we had to walk her to the door, almost forcefully, and make her leave.  All this was right before DH was leaving for Iraq for a year.  Thanks, MIL.  You're wonderful.

        Signed - What The Heck?
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frequent fry her - imissmyhubby Frequent Fry Her TM. - imissmyhubby, 2 of 4 needed /Posted: 24-OCT-08
A month or so after DH and I were married, we got copies of our annual credit report.  The night DH looked at his, I was at work, and received a phone call from him.  He told me that there was a credit card on his credit report that he didn't know about.  It was one thousand dollars over the limit.  Also, there were FOUR delinquent accounts that he never had opened.  I immediately assumed that it was identity theft, and told him that he needed to call the police.  He said his mom had done it.  I lost it.  This was illegal.  It turned out that she took a credit card out in his name and had also put utility accounts under his name when she was living on her own - nowhere near him.  Basically, it looked like DH was responsible for about $7000 that he didn't rack up.  It was MIL.  Then, she refused to pay any of it.  She claimed that he knew all about every one of those accounts and had agreed to them, which was very untrue.  We ended up having to use our tax return, and DH had to work TONS of overtime to pay off her debt - debt that was under his name.  I told him that he should have called the police and taken it to court.  That way we wouldn't have had to pay for it.  But, he said, "It's my mom.  I can't send her to jail."  That was 2 years ago.  She is currently paying us $50 a month, which will take over 6 years to pay off.  DH is now deployed to Iraq, and the only way she will give us any money is if she gets to see the kids.  I'm not sure what I should do.  I want to say, "Screw the money, screw the MIL," and be happy without her in our lives for a while.  But, I'm stuck.  DH tells me to do what I want to do.

        Signed - Uuuuggghhh
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frequent fry her - imissmyhubby Frequent Fry Her TM. - imissmyhubby, 3 of 4 needed /Posted: 26-OCT-08
Around the time DD was born, DH and I had little contact with MIL.  She had caused too much stress during the pregnancy, and was too much to handle.  The night DD was born, though, DH did call her and tell her about the baby.  This was around nine o'clock at night.  She was very angry that she was not allowed to be there when the baby was born, and insisted that she be able to come up and see her.  It was past visiting hours, and DH told her to come the next day.  She was outraged!  She began calling the hospital over and over, to the point that I had to unplug the phone in the room.  Then, she called the nurse's station over and over.  We ended up having to alert security that she was threatening to come up and she was not allowed.  They even had to take down the cute little sign on my door, and it was difficult for visitors to get in to see me.  Then, around midnight that night, she called my parent's house and told them that they were "horrible, awful, heartless people" for not letting her see her grandchild.  She tried to talk them into making me let her see the baby.  This couldn't have happened, because it was after visiting hours.  My father told her that I had just been through the longest and most difficult labor that he has ever seen (and he has 4 children), and that she needed to let DH and me rest.  He then told her that if she called or came to their house again, he would call the police.  How insensitive?  That was the birth of my first child!  Then, she finally calmed down.  She heard that I was trying to breastfeed, and told my DH that I needed to stop.  After that we didn't talk to her for months.  It was very nice.

        Signed - She Was Outraged!
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frequent fry her - imissmyhubby Frequent Fry Her TM. - imissmyhubby, 4 of 4 needed /Posted: 26-OCT-08
The relationship I have with my MIL is more than troubling.  It's insane and extremely stressful.  Here goes:  To begin, she believes that I have taken her son away from her and have ruined her life by getting myself pregnant.  Wonderful.  There are fights and problems every couple of months, so I'll just divulge the worst ones.  When I got pregnant, everything was fine.  DD was planned, and my pregnancy went very smoothly.  The only issue was my MIL.  DH had a good job.  We were doing pretty well until he got laid off from his job.  We were no longer able to afford to live in our own place while I was on maternity leave.  MIL graciously offered to let us live with her, and she would pay the rent.  The night we moved in, DH and I were watching a movie and having a great time.  The house was older and very cold, so we turned the furnace on and were nice and cozy.  Out of nowhere, she came home and walked right in front of the TV.  She demanded that we turn off the heat.  I explained that I was really cold (and 6 months pregnant), and we needed to warm the place up.  She began demanding that I put a sweater on and get a blanket because she was not paying the heating bill because I was cold.  It upset me very much, so I left and went to my parent's house.  It was that night that I decided to move into my parent's house, instead of living in the same home as that woman.  After moving all of my things to my parent's house, I got a phone call on my way to work one day.  By that time, I was about 8 months pregnant and doing very well.  It was my younger sister, who was still in high school.  She lived at my parent's house as well.  She was upset and said that my DH's mom had come to the house and tried to shove her out of the way to get in the house and speak with our parents.  My MIL also went all the way around the house, looking in every window.  She was trying to find my parents, who weren't home.  My sister told her that and told her to leave.  She did.  When I heard about this, I headed home as fast as I could, missing a day of work.  On the way home, I saw her car parked down the road from my parents' home, so I pulled over and asked her what she was doing.  She explained to me that she had to speak to my parents to "protect" her son and "set things straight".  This didn't make sense to me, so I immediately went home and called the police, since she acted in a violent manner.  I then called my DH and told him to come over immediately.  On his way over, he said that there was no sign of his mother's car, and so we assumed that the storm was over, and perhaps the police had already come and asked her to go.  Finally, we were able to relax.  Then, a knock on the door came, and it was her, demanding to speak to my parents, who were home by that time.  My parents let her in, and were very nice to her.  They listened to her go on and on about some lie that I supposedly told them about her.  After several hours of her literally just hanging around their house, they had to all but force her to leave.  It was very strange.  Understandably, it angered all of us, and it took a long time to forgive her for it.  But, I gave her another chance.  That was 4 years ago.

        Signed - Can't Stand The MIL
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