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Frequent Fry HerTM
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Can You Say "Hypocrite"
Age: 21    MIL Age: 48    Australia

frequent fry her - Can You Say Hypocrite Frequent Fry Her TM - Can You Say "Hypocrite" /Posted: 16-OCT-02
Phone calls seem to be a popular theme here.  My DF and I both work long hours and have lots of commitments.  Generally, at least one of us leaves at 6:00 am, so we like to keep late phone calls (past 10:00 PM) to a minimum.  Obviously, emergency calls are OK  FFIL works shift work, and generally likes to do the night shift because he has nothing to do, apart from making phone calls and playing on the internet (what an inspiring career choice).  One night, my partner and I had both been up since 5:30 am, and we had gone to bed early (about 8:00 PM).  Both sets of parents knew that this was the case, so you think they'd avoid calling us for no reason - wrong.  At 10:30 PM, the phone started ringing.  We were both too startled to get it, and it went to the machine.  The caller hung up.  Fifteen minutes later (just as we were falling asleep) the same thing happened.  DF then took the cordless phone into our room and pounced on in when it rang again (at 11:00 PM).  It was FFIL, who wanted to know why we hadn't answered the phone previously.  DF reminded him that we had a busy week and that we had been asleep when he called.  Instead of apologizing, FFIL then wanted to know if DF had paid his car insurance (WHICH WAS DUE IN 6 WEEKS!!!).  DF explained that no, he hadn't paid it yet.  But, seeing as he had a month and a half to do so, he didn't think it would be a problem.  Finally, he got him off the phone by explaining that we were both very tired and needed to get some rest.  Then, we went back to sleep.  About 15 minutes later (11:30 PM, grrr) the phone rang again!  It was FFIL asking if it was OK for FSIL and her boyfriend to stay over at our apartment when they were in the city that weekend.  I had to get up at 4:00 am for a 6:00 am flight the next day, and I was furious.  Why do we need to discuss plans for the weekend on a MONDAY NIGHT?  And, anyway, FSIL is 22.  Surely she can call us all by herself (not that we have ever refused to let them use our place as a hotel).  I went to bed after putting the phone under a mattress in the spare bedroom, and both DF and I turned our cell phones off.  Surely enough, the next morning there were two messages on the answering machine.  If this isn't the most pathetic behavior from a grown man, I don't know what is.  I'm sure he's lonely.  But, as I said, he gets to choose which shift he takes - and he always picks the graveyard shift.  It is yet another example of how little respect they have for us running our own lives.  For his birthday, he's getting some thick books with a card that reads, "read when you're lonely at work".

        Signed - Calling Courtesy

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - Can You Say Hypocrite Frequent Fry Her TM - Can You Say "Hypocrite" /Posted: 14-OCT-02
So, here we go again.  As I previously mentioned, I left my job earlier this year to move into another industry.  I saved up so that I could afford to take up to two months off, and made sure I had established contacts in the field I wanted to move into.  All in all, I took 6 weeks off - 1 month as a long overdue holiday (the longest break I'd had since 10th grade, and I'm now 22), and two weeks for interviewing, etc.  I've since landed a dream job that will allow me to do what I love, for a company that looks after its staff.  And, just for the record, it pays a whole lot more.  Anyway, every day for 6 weeks I was getting calls from my FILs asking, "Have you gotten a job yet?"  As I said, I had carefully planned this move, and at no stage was I ever in any financial trouble, nor did I ever ask them for help.  They would also demand a running commentary on what interviews I had, what I had applied for, and how much they were paying.  None of this was any of their damned business!!  Sure, I appreciate their interest in me, but it felt more like I was being assessed.  What's more, it has been routinely mentioned that I don't like talking about money because I was brought up to believe it was impolite.  Anyway, the best thing is that FSIL, who is ok (just a spoilt lazy princess who is indulged her every whim), was made redundant 3 months ago.  Her last day is this Friday.  And, to this day, she still has nothing lined up and she has not had a single interview.  So many times when we have been together and I've been subjected to my usual financial assessments, I've been tempted to ask, "So, have you got a job yet???"  But I, for one, have too much class.

        Signed - So, Have You Gotten A Job Yet???

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - Can You Say Hypocrite Frequent Fry Her TM - Can You Say "Hypocrite" /Posted: 10-OCT-02
As I've mentioned, my FMIL lives a few hours away from us, but she makes up for it with constant visits.  Earlier this year I had been quite ill, and that coincided with one of her visits.  The type of visit where she gets DF to drive her all around the city, in her car (not that she is incapable of doing it herself, she just likes to monopolize his time for the day) so that she can visit suppliers, etc.  On this particular day I had been scheduled in to have several blood tests, and various other examinations.  As I said, I had been ill for some time, so I was worn out.  And, I'm not too fond of blood tests (or anything too medical), and get very queasy.  FMIL refused to let DF take me to these tests, instead, she suggested, "Walk to them, as the doctor's office is only a few block away."  Or, "Can't one of her friends take her." This was on the morning of the medical appointments, so I had to call one of my friends and give her about 10 seconds notice that she would be playing taxi because my FMIL said, "I am not going to give up a day with my son because you don't look after yourself."

        Signed - She is the One Who is Sick

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - Can You Say Hypocrite Frequent Fry Her TM - Can You Say "Hypocrite" /Posted: 5-OCT-02
Last week, while visiting his parents, my DF spoke to them about how I'm not comfortable discussing money, not because it is a sensitive issue (it isn't), but because I was brought up to believe that asking someone questions is impolite, and that saying, "So how much do you earn" is akin to "So how much do you weigh".  We thought that if he stated that he understood that they were only (supposedly) saying it out of concern, but that we would prefer that they didn't mention it, then they would act like adults and respect our wishes.  No such luck.  FMIL was staying with us again, and I was wearing a new outfit that I had treated myself to.  The first thing out of her mouth wasn't, "That looks nice," or, "Is that new??", it was, "So, how much did that cost?  I hope you're earning more money now, because I'd hate to think that you're buying things you cant afford."  HOW DARE SHE!!!  As I have said, I have never ever asked her for money, or even given them reason to suspect that I am not capable of managing financially (and, truth be told, I earn more than she does).  Yet, she feels that when she is staying in my house, she has a right to interrogate me.  And, this was 5 days after my DF explained that he would appreciate it if she stopped asking about money.  Later that day, DF approached her, and she denied making any such comment.  She said that I was making things up, and only doing it to drive them apart, because I didn't think they were good enough.  DF replied, "I think you're the one that's doing that mum," and now she is in tears and dreadfully distressed.  Our wedding is in 12 months.  My parents have said that they will cover all costs as our wedding present.  So, stay tuned for the dramas that are sure to flow.

        Signed - Here We Go Again

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - Can You Say Hypocrite Frequent Fry Her TM - Can You Say "Hypocrite" /Posted: 5-OCT-02
Why is it that some women who have naturally tiny daughters feel the need to publicize the fact, as though it is something they did???  My FSIL is a tiny woman.  It is not because she diets or exercises (she doesn't), it is because she was born that way.  I'm not as small as she is, but I am by no means overweight.  I take care of myself and exercise regularly.  I think I'm about a size 7, and my FSIL is a 4.  MY FMIL is a large woman, and I have no problem with that (my mother is too), but my FMIL makes an effort to constantly comment on how tiny FSIL is.  If were looking at old photos, she says, "Look at how small my DD (FSIL) is."  Or when we watch old family movies, she says, "Look at DD(FSIL)'s tiny waist.  What a skinny girl."  She constantly compares our clothes, and makes mention of the fact that I can't fit into her clothing.  Not that I have ever tried, nor do I want to.  Apart from the fact that I'm about a foot and a half taller than my FSIL, our bodies are completely different.  And, I like my curves, and the fact that I don't get mistaken for an adolescent (a common complaint for FSIL).  But FMIL doesn't get it.  My DF was wonderful yesterday.  When we were visiting the dressmaker for the wedding, FMIL started in again, comparing the dresses by holding them up against each other to outline the difference.  Just as she was starting on her "Haven't I got a wonderfully thin daughter" rant, DF said, "Mum, I don't know why you're doing this.  I don't really want to marry someone who looks like my sister."  The best part was that when FMIL was trying on her outfit, she split two seams.  It has to be let out 2 inches.

        Signed - Sizing Things Up

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - Can You Say Hypocrite, 1 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM - Can You Say "Hypocrite", 1 of 4 needed /Posted: 17-SEP-02
My fiancé's parents are driving me insane.  They are obsessed with money, and always make a point of asking how much things cost.  My fiancé and I are doing quite well, so it's not as if we're relying on them to support us.  And, as far as I'm concerned, it is between me and the IRS.  Last year, I was talking to my FMIL about my job (which I hated, but paid well)  She was more concerned about how much I was earning.  When she asked how much I was earning, I was taken aback.  But told her all the same (and I know for a fact that it is more than she earns by a long shot).  Her response was, "That is not really enough, is it?"  At the start of this year, I left my horrible job to move into a different industry.  I planned (and saved) so that I could take a month off to wind down, relax, and really explore my options, without having to worry about money.  I should also point out that I waited until their son (my fiancé) had settled down, work-wise, after a few months of freelancing (whilst he established himself).  Every day for six weeks they called.  And, when I answered the phone, they wouldn't say "Hello".  They just said, "Have you gotten a job yet?"  When I finally landed my dream job, the first question was, "So, how much are you earning?"  I responded with, "Oh, about double what your daughter is earning.  But I expect that it will be a lot more once I establish myself."  Funnily enough, she has been quiet ever since.

        Signed - Love Don't Cost a Thing

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - Can You Say Hypocrite, 2 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM - Can You Say "Hypocrite", 2 of 4 needed /Posted: 18-SEP-02
My MIL is forever making snide comments about the fact that I don't usually cook.  There are a few reasons for this:  A)  DF is a great cook and loves to spend time in the kitchen.  B)  DF usually gets home a good 2-3 hours before I do.  C)  I've never really enjoyed cooking, so why not let the one who is good at it, enjoys it, and is home with plenty of time to do so, cook.  Instead, would she rather that DH wait until I get home, and have me cook something uninspired and generally unappealing????  For my 21st birthday, she gave me a lovely present - a book called "How to cook for Men".  She said, "Now you can cook for my son."  Her birthday is next week, she is getting a diet and exercise book (she's a bit on the heavy side), and the comment will be, "Now you can fit into your clothes."

        Signed - Calling the Kettle Black

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - Can You Say Hypocrite, 3 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM - Can You Say "Hypocrite", 3 of 4 needed /Posted: 18-SEP-02
I've had enough.  My FMIL is a designer, but she lives about two hours away from the city (where we live).  So she is constantly coming down to do business, go to parades, etc., etc.  Sometimes, she drives home, but most of the time she stays overnight.  I'm not begrudging her this, but it happens almost every few weeks.  As our apartment is small, one extra person makes all the difference, and it is usually uncomfortable.  But, my biggest issue is the way that she behaves.  I'll put this up front - we have two different personalities.  Because of my work, I am generally fairly organized, and like to plan for things in advance.  I was also brought up to take pride in my things.  And, without being a neat-nick, I'm not comfortable in a lot of mess.  FMIL is the most disorganized, messy, and generally haphazard person.  So, when she tells us that she is coming down for a particular event, we'll make arrangements - only to be told, the day before (or even that afternoon), that she has gotten the date wrong, or she has forgotten something.  This happens 95% of the time.  Last week she asked if she could stay on Wednesday night of this week, and we told her that it wouldn't be a problem.  I made the necessary plans to stay at a friend's house coincidentally, so that we wouldn't get under each other's skin.  Monday, she called to say that she wouldn't be staying because she had an appointment.  So, I decided to come home after dinner so that I could spend time with my DF.  I went to work on Wednesday without a change of clothes, etc.  And, I was told at 2pm that she would be staying over tonight.  So, I had to come home.  And, on these visits, she always makes helpful suggestions like, "What is wrong with that light fitting," or, "What are you doing about those tiles," or, "Is that dust, my goodness."  And, let me remind you that housekeeping is not one of her strong points.  I swear, she hasn't ironed or vacuumed in about 6 years, and their house looks like a bomb hit it.  But, I was taught that it was bad manners to comment on these things when you are a guest in someone's house.  This might not be too much of a problem, but as I said, it happens every few weeks.  My partner and I are both very busy, and it is not often that our schedules match.  So, I don't want to waste time hiding at a friend's house because I'm afraid that I'll kill his mother.

        Signed - I'm Afraid That I'll Kill His Mother

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - Can You Say Hypocrite, 4 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM - Can You Say "Hypocrite", 4 of 4 needed /Posted: 28-SEP-02
Earlier this year I was quite unwell, and this coincided with one of the FMIL's many visits.  For diagnosis, I had to go to the doctor's office several times that day to have various blood tests, etc.  Obviously I couldn't drive myself because I was unwell, and would be feeling a bit weak after the tests.  Upon hearing of this, the FMIL demanded that DF still be able to drive her around town on her various errands.  She is 45 for god's sake, and drives all the time.  I don't see why she needed him.  She curtly told me to get a friend to take me because she "needed her son".

        Signed - Diagnosis Murder

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

 


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