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Frequent Fry HerTM
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Civchic
Age: 25       MIL Age: 50
She Needs Counseling

frequent fry her - Civchic Frequent Fry Her TM - Civchic/Posted: 5-MAR-06
Here's another story from the wedding planning.  DF and I have a small hall that only seats 120 (we had a reason for wanting a nice intimate wedding, with our close family and best friends).  We figured that we would invite 30 friends that we chose, then 45 people from each side, which should have been plenty.  FMIL came back with a list of 78 people.  78!!  The best part is that I have a large family and had to limit it to close first cousins.  She has a small family.  This list was all old friends of hers, old neighbors, and DF's old baby-sitter.  Finally she got it through her head when I started to cross people off.  She said, "Oh, you meant 45 PEOPLE?"  I'm not sure if she thought I was talking about housecats, or what.

        Signed - Wedding Planning
        ( respond to this story )        ( here is my story )

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - Civchic Frequent Fry Her TM - Civchic/Posted: 21-SEP-05
FMIL visited us on Sunday to talk about wedding stuff.  Or, to complain about it, anyway.  Ha!  Our reception hall fits 120 people.  We are inviting close family (only as far as first cousins, max), our good friends, and a few people from work.  Well, that's what I thought we're doing, until SHE got involved!  "You should invite this person (whom DF knew when he was 12).  But, if you do, you have to invite her nine brothers and sisters, too."  Of course.  I have a huge, tight-knit family, with 12 first cousins.  DF has a small family, with two first cousins whom he knows.  He doesn't speak to his dad's family.  Somehow, my family portion of the guest list is 45 people, and his mother's now up to 180!!  So much for friends, eh?  "But, you can move the tables to the edges of the hall, can't you?"  Nice.  This is not the legion hall we're getting married in!  Oh, and she says that most of them won't come anyway, but if you don't send an invite, you won't get a gift.  Did you know that a wedding is a fundraiser?  Argh!  What happens if they all decide to come?  Oh, and we're paying for this wedding all by ourselves, so...

        Signed - DF's Baby-sitter (When He Was 3) And Her Brother Aren't Coming!
        ( respond to this story )        ( here is my story )

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - Civchic
Frequent Fry Her TM - Civchic/Posted: 23-AUG-05
My DF's birthday was two weeks ago.  I love birthdays, and went out of my way (even though we're saving money for the wedding) to do something special for him.  We had a great day!  It's was the end of the construction season (we both work in that industry, for different companies).  Plus, the holidays were approaching, with parties and open houses all over the place for work, etc.  We both ended up having to work, or at least be somewhere every weekend.  DH's mom lives more than an hour away.  He told her that it was impossible for him to come down before Christmas, so if she wanted to do something with him for his birthday, she'd have to come here.  She got mad, said he didn't care about her (it's HIS birthday, remember!), and didn't call for a few days.  His birthday was one of those days.  MY mom called and sang to him in the morning before he went to work.  His mom didn't call him on his birthday because she was mad because he didn't care enough about her to skip his work Christmas party to visit her on his birthday.

        Signed - A Little Twisted?

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - Civchic Frequent Fry Her TM - Civchic/Posted: 3-JUL-05
The holidays really bring out the "best" in our MILs, don't they?  We had settled out the holidays for last year, or so we thought.  Enter the FMIL!!  My (extended) family celebrates on Christmas Eve, no gift exchange, so that we can all do our immediate family things on Christmas Day.  It's just a wonderful get-together, with everyone from great grandpa to the teeny babies.  We have munchies, wine, and fun.  On Christmas morning, we go to my parents', since my dad has to work nights (leaves at 3-ish).  Around 2 we go to DF's grandma's for his family Christmas.  It's perfect.  Well, this year FMIL decided that she wanted to have dinner with her "boys" (DF and his brother) on Christmas Eve.  Hmmm.  I said, "Well, that's the most special day of the year for me, so we've already got plans.  BUT, since it's not a sit-down dinner, we can have dinner at FMIL's house around 5, leave at 6:30-7, and be at my aunt's house for 8, no problem!"  Everyone would be happy!  I even offered to help cook.  Then, we got a phone call.  "No dice," she said.  She had to work THE DAY BEFORE, and didn't want to get up early to have dinner ready, and her BF doesn't want to rush around to pick up his DD early, so dinner couldn't possibly be served before 6.  "No hard feelings," she said, "If you'd rather go to DF's family.  Sigh."  Can we say passive aggressive??  Good thing DF doesn't fall for this cr@p.  We're going to my aunt's house nice and early now.

        Signed - Is This A Power Struggle, Because It Isn't Working!

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - Civchic, 1 of 4 needed
Frequent Fry Her TM - Civchic, 1 of 4 needed/Posted: 8-NOV-04
My FDH is a terrible romantic, and when he proposed it was the most amazing day of my entire life.  Let me just say that it involved New York City and some of the finer things that it has to offer.  He even designed my engagement ring and had it custom made.  He had to save up for an entire year for this proposal.  The only person who knew about it was my dad, whom he'd asked for my hand.  Of course, I was honored and excited, and couldn't wait to tell everyone.  This is the story of my FMIL's response to the announcement.  We went to her house after her work (about 11:30 pm).  We chatted for a bit.  I had the ring in my pocket so that they (she and her BF) wouldn't notice it before FDH had a chance to tell them.  The BF was playing video games or something.  Finally, FDH said, "Well, you're going to have a DIL," or something along those lines.  She sat back in her chair and said, "Oh."  Then, after a few more seconds, she said, "Oh!  That's nice!"  Then, she went to make a cup of tea, and called FDH in to the kitchen to "help" her.  The discussion that they had was about three things:  1)  He should make sure that I was really in love with him and not just a golddigger;  2)  The merits of a prenuptial agreement;  3)  A discussion of the various young marriages that she'd seen break up in the last few years.  She finally said, "Congrats," when we left an hour later.  The BF never said anything about it all.

        Signed - She Could've Pretended To Be Happy

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - Civchic, 2 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM - Civchic, 2 of 4 needed/Posted: 9-FEB-05
My FMIL is a serious piece of work.  She seemed okay when we first met (a little insecure and a bit weird, but, hey, aren't we all?).  It wasn't until we had been dating for a while, and she started to realize that I was sticking around, that problems arose.  The first inkling was her problem with my financial situation.  Now, I have an excellent job with great pay, but in order to get that job, I accumulated a great deal of student debt.  My parents were very poor when I was growing up, and I had to pay my own way through university.  I pay ALL of my student loan payments on my own (FH and I split all other household expenses).  But, she seems to think that I am dragging her son down.  The kicker came when she said to him (within my earshot - she likes to discuss things "quietly" in the kitchen) that because my parents were bad with money (what?? I think it was more like they didn't have great opportunities and spent most of their youth stuck in cr@ppy jobs with 3 kids to take care of - I think they did a pretty good job), I would end up spending anything that he ever made, and we'd never get anywhere together.  I was SO ANGRY that night.  Luckily, FH stood up for me, and I distinctly heard him say, "Well, mom, since she already makes more than me anyway, I'm not sure how that would work."  Seriously, every time we see her (maybe once every couple of months) she ends up talking about money, even though I hate it.

        Signed - All She Cares About Is Money

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - Civchic, 3 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM - Civchic, 3 of 4 needed/Posted: 10-FEB-05
I absolutely hate cigarette smoke.  FMIL is a freakin' chimney!  Both she and her BF smoke in the house, which I think is gross anyway.  But, hey, it's their house.  I'm not going to tell people what to do in their own house.  However, FH and I have a VERY strict no smoking rule in our house, which she knows about.  Most smokers have no problem going outside on the porch when they are at a nonsmoker's house.  Well, the last time she came to visit, what did she do?  She lit up, right there in my living room!  I said, "Hm.  Could you take that outside, please?"  She turned to FH and said, "It is extremely rude to make your guests go outside to smoke.  It's cold out, and it's my right to smoke wherever I want.  Besides, I'm your mother."  I'm not sure why she couldn't talk to me.  He told her to go outside, and if she didn't like it, she wouldn't have to visit anymore.  Thank goodness for his backbone at least.  The biggest surprise is going to be when we start a family and I won't visit their gross, smoky house while pregnant or with a baby.

        Signed - Her Right To Give Me Lung Cancer?

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - Civchic, 4 of 4 needed Frequent Fry Her TM - Civchic, 4 of 4 needed/Posted: 12-FEB-05
My FMIL, my parents, DH and I are going thirds on our wedding.  I still think that we should be paying for it all ourselves, but my parents honestly want to help, and FMIL thinks that it would "look bad" if she didn't.  However, her latest thing is that, instead of giving us the money as we need it to book the hall, photographer, DJ, etc., she will just cut us a check after the wedding next fall, "if" we end up getting married.  I guess she doesn't want to make a bad investment!  FH just tells her that she's lucky she's invited at all.

        Signed - Hedge Betting On Her Son's Wedding!

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

 


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