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Frequent Fry HerTM
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A Girl Of 2004
Age: 22       MIL Age: 48

A Long, Rocky Road

frequent fry her - agirlof2004 Frequent Fry Her TM. - agirlof2004/Posted: 27-JUN-15
I recently e-mailed my FMIL "just to say hi" and see how she is doing. In the e-mail, I mentioned how my BF and I are planning to come see her soon. She suggested the last weekend of this month.

Meanwhile, I know my BF has been sneaking around on the phone with the jewelry store and preparing to pick up my engagement ring! I KNOW the proposal is coming soon, based on little hints he has been dropping me, and trust me, it is hard for him to keep a secret. We went together to pick out my ring, so I knew this was happening from the very beginning.

Anyway, in the back of my mind, I thought that if he proposed to me before we went to visit his mother, it would be a nice time to visit with her and tell her in person. (If you've read my previous stories, you know that she didn't take it well AT ALL when he brought up the subject of our engagement with her. If it was up to me, he would propose to me, call her the next day, and give her at LEAST a week to digest the information on her own before showing up in person. She's crazy and it would just work better like that.)

So, my BF and I were all set to go on this trip when we got a phone call AT WORK last week. His mother has cancer and has been undergoing chemotherapy treatments. Now, despite all my complaining, I am VERY concerned about her and VERY upset that she has to go through this. I simply do not agree with the way she is going about things. She is pushing the people who are closest to her away, when they are the ones who will be there for her the most right now when she needs them. My BF basically found out that his mother's chemo has not been working at all, and they want to begin more aggressive chemo treatments with her. She will be going more often now.

Well, when his mother found out about this, she got it in her head that she may not ever get better. She told my BF that when HE comes to visit, she wants to sit down with him and his 19 year old sister and go over her affairs. She told him she would also like to speak just with him alone at some point. I was not mentioned at all. So, now, I told my BF that he needs to go spend this time with his family and give her his undivided attention. He still keeps begging me to come with. I still think he will propose to me before the trip, but it is just so typical that she found a way to make that weekend all about HER as usual.

This is so much more than me just ranting and raving that she ruined the opportunity for my BF and me to tell her about our engagement together. It's an opportunity for her to badmouth me behind my back to his face once again, especially once she learns I have a ring on my finger. There is one side of me who knows that he NEEDS to go alone, because I am totally unwelcome. But, there is still the other side that feels as if I should be there as his fiance. Whenever I go there I feel like a buffer between him and her. At least when he goes alone he will get a good dose of her, and hopefully start to realize how manipulating and awful she can be.

I assure everyone reading this that I am TOTALLY sympathetic of her illness - I work in a hospital, I see sickness every day and it's devastating - but her illness is no excuse to have an entitled attitude and treat everyone around her like dirt.

        Signed - Sick Of It
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frequent fry her - agirlof2004 Frequent Fry Her TM. - agirlof2004/Posted: 20-JUN-15
It had been one week since FMIL and my BF had their blowout fight over my BF's and my upcoming engagement. She hadn't spoken to him since that fight - probably giving herself some time to sulk and create an action plan to sabotage our engagement (trust me, if you knew her, you'd agree with me)!! BF's sister called him to say that FMIL "hasn't been feeling well lately", and that he should probably come out to visit her soon.

I have NEVER kept my BF from seeing his family. Since he had moved in with me, he'd gone out there to see them at LEAST once a month, with or without me. If FMIL needed my BF for some reason that was truly urgent, she wouldn't hesitate to call him herself. She calls him at work, she calls him on his cell-phone, she calls him whenever the heck she wants. Trust me, I witness it. But, did she call him this time? No. Am I such a terrible person for suspecting that FMIL got his sister to call BF for her?

It created added drama. When FMIL called my BF to "apologize" after their fight, she said, "I've just been so stressed lately - no one's been there for me." As in, no one has been there for her, INCLUDING my BF!! He sees her and does as much for her as he possibly can!!

This woman is divorced, and still has her ex stopping by her place to check on her periodically. The ex has a new GF and is living with her. He should NOT be over there whenever FMIL calls him. Between my BF's sister and this woman's ex, talk about controlling. Ugh.

        Signed - Tired Of It
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frequent fry her - agirlof2004 Frequent Fry Her TM. - agirlof2004/Posted: 31-MAR-09
FMIL told FSIL that she could finally get a cat as a graduation present from high school.  One day, FMIL, FSIL, my now-DF and I went to the ASPCA to look at the pets.  FSIL picked out a cat that she absolutely fell in love with.  Unfortunately, so did FMIL.  It is unbelievable how much power she has over her kids.  I watched as she slowly wore FSIL down until FSIL agreed to get the cat that FMIL picked out.  They brought the cat home that day.  It gets better.  FMIL stupidly decided to feed the cat human food instead of regular cat food.  As a result, the cat got sick.  It was soon making messes all over the place.  Once the cat got sick, FMIL decided that it was "too much to handle".  One day, when FSIL and my then-BF were at school, she brought the cat back to the ASPCA, telling them she could no longer take care of it.  My then-BF and FSIL came home to find the cat gone.  They were both devastated.  Fast forward one week.  FMIL began to miss the cat and regret her decision to bring him back.  She called the ASPCA, explained how she had been "frustrated" as a new cat owner, and told them she had acted too abruptly.  Amazingly, the same cat was still at the ASPCA, not yet adopted, and they ACTUALLY LET HER TAKE HIM HOME A SECOND TIME!!!  She now is the proud owner of the same darn cat.  By this time, even I was starting to get fed up with all of this cr@p - it wasn't even fair to the poor cat!!  But, finally, the icing on the cake for me:  Following all of this, FMIL came to visit my then-BF and me one weekend.  In the meantime, he and I had adopted an adorable female cat of our own.  Her temperament is the exact opposite of FSIL's cat, who is a male.  Once FMIL met our cat, she fell in love.  The entire weekend, she kept picking her up, patting her, and wouldn't leave her alone.  She loudly announced to my then-BF and I, "See, this is the kind of cat I would have wanted.  I wish MY cat could be this affectionate!"  I could barely hold in my laughter.  It's like, listen lady, you HAND-PICKED the cat you have!  If you don't like him, it's YOUR fault!  And it was never supposed to be YOUR cat in the first place!  It's your DAUGHTER'S!!  I hope she never lays a hand on our little girl again.

        Signed - Control-Freak Much???
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frequent fry her - agirlof2004 Frequent Fry Her TM. - agirlof2004/Posted: 31-MAR-09
I just got engaged this past weekend.  When my DF called his mother to let her know, she did not ask to talk to me.  The next day, I emailed her, telling her that my DF and I are very excited, that we know it's big news to take in, and that we made sure she was one of the very first people to know.  She hasn't responded.  I am now going to wait to see how long it actually takes her to SAY SOMETHING about this instead of just pretending it didn't happen.  I'm sure she is just taking her time plotting something.  When she's done, the sh!t will hit the fan.

        Signed - Waiting For It
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frequent fry her - agirlof2004 Frequent Fry Her TM. - agirlof2004, 1 of 4 needed/Posted: 12-FEB-09
Worst gift:  This past Christmas, FMIL sent a big, obnoxious box to my BF's and my apartment.  He came home from work, all excited about what it could be.  She had told him that she would be sending it along, and to not open it until Christmas.  When I took a good look at it, it was addressed only to DF.  There was also a card made out only to him.  The weekend following Christmas, DF went to visit her (I did not go, as I had members of my own family visiting from out of state).  When he came back, he had hundreds of dollars worth of gifts - mostly clothes.  I did not receive anything at all from her.  Not that I was expecting anything, but it adds more salt to the wound if I see this package arrive for him out of nowhere.  In all the time I've known her (nearly three years), I have not received a single gift from her - not even a birthday card.  Some people receive terrible or off-color gifts from their MILs.  They can complain or laugh about it later.  I almost think it's worse to just be totally ignored and not included as part of the family.

        Signed - Rejected
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frequent fry her - agirlof2004 Frequent Fry Her TM. - agirlof2004, 2 of 4 needed/Posted: 13-FEB-09
After nearly three years together, my BF and I are at the point where we have picked out my engagement ring, and he will be proposing to me soon.  After many experiences dealing with my FMIL, BF and I both knew she would not be taking the news well.  She is sick, and recently called him at work to complain.  She said that she "just wanted to be alive to see her grandchildren".  BF segued into saying there would be no grandchildren without a wedding.  That's when the sh!t hit the fan.  She went off on a tangent, arguing with him and accusing him of "rushing into things".  She even went so far as to say that he shouldn't be doing anything he doesn't "feel comfortable with", as if to suggest that I am somehow forcing him into this, which I am clearly not.  BF and I are happily in love.  She then proceeded to nitpick on me and attack every single little detail, as if in a desperate attempt to change his mind about our engagement.  The fight between her and my BF escalated to the point where one of his coworkers came over to tell him to keep it down.  The next day, she called him back and apologized.  Too late.  The damage has already been done.  She has made it clear how she feels about me.  She does not like me.  Things like this just prove that fact.

        Signed - Dreading The Future
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frequent fry her - agirlof2004 Frequent Fry Her TM. - agirlof2004, 3 of 4 needed/Posted: 13-FEB-09
My FMIL lives in a pretty sketchy area in a major US city.  Whenever BF and I go visit, I (understandably) prefer to park my brand new car in a gated, overnight parking lot right down the road, rather than on the side of the street.  Every time we visit this woman, she asks him to go out and do errands for her.  Once, she asked BF if I could drive her to the grocery store, as she does not own a car and could not carry groceries home on her own.  My FSIL finally spoke up and said that she should probably ask me instead, as it was my car and I was the one who would be driving.  I still agreed.  When I picked her up at the store in my brand new car, she had so many groceries with her that I was afraid that my car wouldn't fit all of them and the three of us as well.  She proceeded to make comments about how cramped the car was, especially in the back.  I didn't buy the car thinking that I would be her personal chauffeur.  She didn't want to sit in the back (my car is only a two door, so you have to move up the front seats in order to get into the back seats).  BF offered to sit in the back, instead.  He is quite tall, and his head almost touched the ceiling in the back.  This was not an issue, as 99% of the time he is in the front with me, where there is much more room.  She sarcastically turned around and asked him, "Oh, are you comfortable sweetie?"  While all of this was going on, BF and I were keeping an eye on the clock.  We told her that we would be leaving to go to our alma mater's football game at 11:00 AM.  She conveniently didn't get this whole idea about me driving her from the grocery store until about 10:00 AM, one hour before we were to leave.  Needless to say, we were late for the game, and she never thanked me for driving.

        Signed - Words Cannot Describe
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frequent fry her - agirlof2004 Frequent Fry Her TM. - agirlof2004, 4 of 4 needed/Posted: 14-FEB-09
My FMIL came to visit my BF and me for the weekend.  It was the first time she was to see our new apartment since we moved in together.  To make a long story short, the entire weekend was a catastrophe.  First, she and BF apparently had a fight as soon as she stepped off the bus, because she had had a "long, terrible trip".  Things did not start off on the right foot.  From there, things went downhill.  My BF and I purchased a futon especially for her use during the visit, which we put in our second bedroom.  We had been thinking about buying one, but we decided to just go ahead and do it in order to accommodate her and keep her comfortable.  She slept on it that first night, and spent the remainder of the trip complaining about how her back hurt, and making offhand comments about how the brand new mattress was "hard".  Additionally, she decided to make a comment about how the layout of HER apartment was "much nicer" because her bathroom is attached to her bedroom, and in ours, it is not.  She had never been to our city before, so we really wanted to show her the sights.  Instead, she decided that the suitcase she had packed for the trip was not good enough, and that she needed to purchase a new one with wheels on it immediately.  We spent the entire day following her around until we got to a department store, where we spent nearly two hours waiting for her to pick one out.  When she did finally pick one out, she complained about how it was not the size or color she wanted, but it was all she could afford.  When we arrived back home after a long day of touring the entire city, we were all ready for a nice dinner out.  By then, she was hungry and grouchy, and was barely speaking.  When we got to the restaurant, she sat there right next to me in the waiting area with her IPOD ON, not saying a word.  She ended the weekend by loudly knocking on our bedroom door, the next morning, to tell BF him to come out immediately, as she intended to get an earlier bus home than we had previously discussed.

        Signed - Frustrated Does Not Begin to Describe It
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