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Frequent Fry HerTM
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Right Husband, Wrong MIL
Age: 25       MIL Age: 51

Welcome to my "Wonderful Life"

frequent fry her - Right Husband Wrong MIL Frequent Fry Her TM. - Right Husband Wrong MIL/Posted: 19-APR-02
Did you ever ONCE give your MIL the benefit of the doubt, and then regret it every day since???  Well, I have!!  Back when hubby and I were dating and things were somewhat normal between his parents and I, I allowed his mother to talk me into something.  Never again!!  Sweetie was still in the military at the time, and was out to sea for about 5 months.  Well, the wonderful time finally arrived when his boat was scheduled to come home.  His mother got the call that the boat was coming in on such and such a day, at such and such a time.  Well, at first she got upset, because that was the day she already took off so that she could bake Christmas cookies and get the house ready for Christmas.  So, she decides that she and my FIL wouldn't go up to welcome the boat home.  So, in the meantime, I made plans to get myself up to the base.  I'd mapped out my bus schedule, and arranged to stay at one of the wive's houses.  So, about 3 days before I needed to leave, MIL called and told me that they have reconsidered, and would be going up after all.  I explained that I had already made plans, and I'd just see them at the pier that morning.  She insisted that I travel with them and share their hotel room.  They would pay for the room, gas, and tolls.  She said it would be nice to welcome her son home "as a family".  Well, whatever, I conceded to that.  I found out, on the evening that we are suppose to leave, that she had tickets to a concert, and we wouldn't be leaving till about 10:00 or 11:00 PM.  The base was about a 4-5 hour drive away!!  So, by this time, I was fuming!!  She said that the tickets cost her $30, and she wouldn't give them up just so that they could leave for the base earlier.  This would be the second "homecoming" that they'd be going to, so it wasn't anything new or special to them.  I wouldn't care if it were my 50th homecoming - I would have sold those tickets in a heartbeat!!  So, we finally got to our hotel at about 3:30 in the morning.  We had to be up at 7:00 to be at the base for 9:00.  Sweetie's boat came in, and it was wonderful - I ditched his parents the second we got to the pier, and hung out with the other wives and girlfriends.  So, we went back to his barracks, dumped some of his gear off, and picked up some things he needed to bring home with him.  Then, we went out sightseeing, and to an early dinner.  After dinner, we went back to the hotel, and found that the maid had overlooked our room.  This wasn't a big deal to anyone, except for my MIL.  She stormed up to the front desk and told them that we were checking out, and demanded a refund!  So, after only sleeping for about 3 hours, we all piled back into the car (DH included, because he was granted "leave" for about a week) and drove home.  Here is the catch, though.  DH drove back home with mommy dearest in the front, while I was stuck in the back seat with my snoring FIL!  UGH!!!  And, to top it off, every time that we get into an argument, she throws the trip up in our faces.  "Well, I can't be that awful of a person, after all, I did AGREE to bring her up with us when your boat came home for Christmas that time".  Yada, Yada, Yada.

        Signed - What Was I Thinking?!?!?!?!?

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - Right Husband Wrong MIL 1 of 4 Frequent Fry Her TM. - Right Husband Wrong MIL, 1 of 4/Posted: 8-APR-02
My husband and I have been married for just a year, but we have been together for 4 blissful years.  Well, they were blissful until I met "HER".  By nature, I am a very straightforward person, and I do have the tendency to speak my mind on certain issues.  Well, my MIL is very old fashioned for being just 51, and she still insists on treating my husband and me like children.  She believes in the old adage that, "Children should be seen and not heard".  And, she has frequently "chastised" me for "speaking out of turn".  It began to become a serious problem, so my husband (then boyfriend) and I stopped going to visit his parents.  In fact, we pretty much cut all ties with them.  They live about 1.5 hours from us, and at the time, my now husband moved in with my parents and me because our area had more opportunity for jobs (he was just getting out of the military at the time).  We were still going to see his grandparents at least once a month though (they live in the same area).  Of course, it didn't take long for this to get back to my ILs.  When asked why we can't come and see them as well, my husband told his mother, "She comes with me on my visits to see my grandparents, and since you have expressed your interest in never having her in your house again, we don't stop."  My gem of a MIL countered with this pearl, "Well, leave her in the car to wait for you while you come in and visit with us."  Enraged by this, my wonderful, loving husband told her, "I don't put her on a leash at night and walk her.  I will not leave her to wait in the car for me."  After that, we did not speak to her for another 6 or 7 months.  This occurred almost 3 years ago, and even though I'm allowed back in the house, things haven't gotten much better.

        Signed - Right Husband - Wrong MIL

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

RESPONSE:  Right Husband - Wrong MIL
WHAT A NASTY B*TCH!!  Thank GOD you have a REAL man!!

RESPONSE:  Right Husband - Wrong MIL
My MIL did the same thing.  She forbid me to come into her house, so I forbid her to come into mine.  That backfired on her, so she changed her tune in a hurry.  Hopefully, your MIL will stay out of your lives.  Good luck!

RESPONSE:  Right Husband - Wrong MIL
You've got an awesome husband J .

RESPONSE:  Right Husband - Wrong MIL
"Well, leave her in the car to wait for you while you come in and visit with us."  What kind of a comment is that?  Thank God your DH "reminded" MIL that you are not a dog!  You're very lucky that he stood up for you!  I have read about many DH's on this site who would've said, "Okay, mom," to that awful suggestion!  Best of luck to you with dealing with her.

frequent fry her - Right Husband Wrong MIL 2 of 4 Frequent Fry Her TM. - Right Husband Wrong MIL, 2 of 4/Posted: 9-APR-02
Has anyone out there ever seen the movie, "The Ref"??  It's with Kevin Spacey, and is one of the funniest movies I have ever seen.  Anyway, the MIL in the movie is mine to a "T".  I have a MIL who is absolutely PERFECT.  The woman does NO wrong, and my husband and I are the most rotten people on earth.  Actually, her son is only rotten because he doesn't know how to "control his wife".  On the rare occasion that my flawless MIL does make a mistake, we get a half-@ssed apology that goes a little something like this, "I'm sorry for whatever it is that I did wrong in your eyes, BUT I was just trying to love my family to best of my ability, because they mean so much to me."  YEAH, RIGHT LADY!  There is a part in "The Ref" where the MIL starts yelling at her son because her picture wasn't over the fireplace - to which her son (Spacey) replies that they were thinking about replacing her picture with a large wooden cross, and every time that she feels unappreciated, she can climb up there and nail herself to it.  That one line pretty much sums up my MIL's whole existence.  If we ever receive a sincere apology from her without a "BUT" attached to it, I think we'd keel over.  Is there anyone out there who has "Mother Teresa" as their MIL????

        Signed - Anyone have "Mother Teresa" as their MIL????

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - Right Husband Wrong MIL 3 of 4 Frequent Fry Her TM. - Right Husband Wrong MIL, 3 of 4/Posted: 9-APR-02
My MIL has always had a problem with letting her children go.  My husband and I are convinced that if she didn't have her children's lives to interfere with, she would have/be nothing.  When it came time to plan our wedding, hubby and I were looking into a few ideas to keep the cost down.  I am the youngest child of retired parents, and I was a recent college grad at the time (which my parents also contributed to financially).  One of the ideas that we came up with was having a Friday evening ceremony, and having a cocktail/ hors d'oeuvres kind of reception.  Nothing too fancy - yet elegant.  We both really liked the idea - since neither of us were really into the whole big wedding deal (to this day, we say we should have done the Vegas circuit).  We had a long engagement - about 2 years - so there was plenty of time for our guests to arrange their schedules to accommodate this.  We had told my future MIL of our possible plans, so that she felt "included" in the process.  Meanwhile, my mother said it was a good idea, and if that's what we really wanted, then fine.  She thought that since we were planning so far in advance, if people really wanted to come to the wedding, they would find a way to arrange it.  So when we told my MIL, she freaked, and wrote a big, long email about how, "You WILL have a Saturday morning or afternoon wedding, you WILL be married in a church, and it WILL be under a certain budget, since we (MIL and FIL) are planning to contribute to it."  Then, she proceeded to tell us that we were being selfish to even consider a Friday night ceremony, and that no one would be able to show up for it, etc.  Then, she also called me a "spoiled "b!tch".  As soon as we received this email, my mother got one from her begging her to talk sense into us, and to explain why having a Friday night ceremony wouldn't work (like my mother didn't just read the e-mail she sent me calling me a "spoiled b!tch")??  Anyway, after some careful consideration, my wonderful man (who was still in the military at the time, but came to visit for the weekend) called his mother and told her that, fine, we'll concede to the Saturday wedding, but next weekend he will be coming home, moving all of his belongings to my parent's house, and changing his address.  At the time, she was fine with this, because she believed she had gotten her way.  Then, the next weekend came, and hubby and I came up to collect his things.  Well, she just stared blankly at us, with tears rolling down her face.  She was sighing heavily, with her hand clutching her chest.  I'm telling you, if I had an Oscar, I would have handed it to her right then and there.  We never said a word to her, and just went about our business.  As we were cleaning out his room, we decided to throw a lot of stuff away.  Meanwhile, MIL was downstairs, and was on the phone with my SIL.  She was asking her to come home from work, because she didn't think she could handle this.  And <GASP>, she said she may kill herself, because she has failed as a mother.  Oh no, the horrors!!  So, we made it out of there unscathed, but we received a phone call later that evening asking why we threw this and that out, etc.  The woman went through the trash bags after we left (the trash bags that we closed and took out back to the trash cans!!!).  Can you believe the type of crazy I am dealing with???  Is it just me??

        Signed - Is It Just Me??

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

frequent fry her - Right Husband Wrong MIL 4 of 4 Frequent Fry Her TM. - Right Husband Wrong MIL, 4 of 4/Posted: 14-APR-02
Does anyone else have a MIL who thinks the WHOLE world revolves around her??  My father, unfortunately, passed away in 2000 - about a year before I was married.  My husband thought his family might want to know, even though, at the time, our families hadn't met yet, and things were rocky between his parents and the both of us.  So, we called my future MIL, who gave a half-@ssed apology for my loss, and then went into how tough it must be.  But, she said that she really doesn't understand, because she never got to know her father (she was the product of an affair), because he never wanted anything to do with her or her mother, yada, yada, yada.  Then, she moved on to how she hopes MY father's death will be a lesson for her son that life is too short, and he shouldn't shut his family out.  She also told him how lucky he is to still have a father here "on earth".  She said that he should love him and keep him safe, etc.  Keep in mind that this conversation took place the day my father passed away.  Is it just me, or did that seem a little insensitive??

        Signed - Is It Just Me??????

( I want my own Frequent Fry Her TM Page )

 


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