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Mother-In-Law Mall
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Mother-In-Law Stories
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Frequent
Fry HerTM
DILoftheGruesomeTwosome
Age: from age 21-50 MIL Age: from age
50-81
USA
She's not evil;
she's cold-blooded, manipulative, and mean!
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- DILoftheGruesomeTwosome/Posted:
12-AUG-06
DH and just celebrated our 23rd wedding anniversary.
Dear MIL usually ignores this date, but sometimes sends us a small
check with the notation, "Buy something for the house."
This year she remembered DH's wedding anniversary by sending a card
addressed to him with the word "only" written after his
name on the envelope. When he opened her anniversary card, she
had written, "Happy Anniversary (DH's Name)". Once
again, the word "only" was written after his name on a blank,
all occasion card, in pink crayon! She signed it, "Love,
Mom." She also included a check made out to him, which,
of course, is fine with me. Every holiday is ruined because
DH goes into a panic because he feels it necessary to call his parents;
and his rancor is taken out on me. She made sure that her anniversary
card to him arrived on the day. This way he would feel that
he had to call her because she sent him a check. I told him
that if he called her, as she always makes trouble and lies to get
pity, we just would not celebrate this year. We went out and
had a wonderful time, and I was happy because I did not have to send
a thank you note for once. Our wedding anniversary is just a
few days after my favorite holiday, the Fourth of July. The
day before the 4th my FIL sent checks to our two boys (ages 10 and
12) so that DH would feel the need to call them and ruin the holiday
for all of us. DH, thankfully, forgot that he was going to call
them, and a good time was had by all. Did I mention that the
first and only time my ILs saw my children was when my youngest was
9 months, and my oldest was two and a half? She said, while
holding the baby, "I don't like them when they get any older
than this because they start to have minds of their own and don't
want to be controlled." Although I invited them to come
see the boys every month for three years, MIL wanted no part of a
visit with them. I just quit inviting them, and was grateful
that they were not going to continue their dysfunction in yet another
generation. However, MIL, ever since, has been working on a
more sinister plan (10 years in the making). More on this another
time
Signed - A More Sinister
Plan In The Works
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- DILoftheGruesomeTwosome, 1 of 4 needed/Posted: 9-JUN-06
I have waited so long to begin a FFHP because I kept hoping that someone
else would write something about their MIL that would rival, or be
worse than, what I have been (and continue) to go through. This
still has not happened on this or any other MIL site that I have explored.
So, here goes. I know that everything will sound horribly over-exaggerated,
but, I sadly and solemnly swear that it is all true, as much as I
wished, hoped and dreamed that it wasn't. My DH and I married
over 20 years ago. I had no idea that DH's family hated me until
our wedding. Being deeply in love, I never thought about the
fact that although his parents lived only an hour away, he kept me
away from them. However, I knew that my MIL was angry because
she wanted to spend the night in my DH's home with us on our wedding
night, as we weren't going on our honeymoon for a week after the ceremony.
Money was not the issue, as they are more than well-heeled (however,
this is for another time). At the time I did think that this
was not only weird, but also sick. On our wedding day my ILs
sat outside the lovely historic chapel in which we were married, and
refused to go in. As the flower girl, four bridesmaids and I
made our way across a cobble-stoned courtyard to the church, my MIL
looked up at me as I was getting ready to go in and said, with her
never changing dour look, "He's only marrying her because she's
beautiful on the outside (I am rarely addressed in the first person).
We know you never graduated from this school. How did you get
permission to be married here?" It was a prestigious, east
coast private university in a major city, where I went on academic
scholarship. I made my spending money by modeling for an upscale
department store chain. I double-majored (a B.A. and a B.F.A.),
graduated summa cum laude, received a fellowship to get my M.F.A.,
and graduated magna cum laude with a Master's Degree. Of course,
she has known this since I met my DH. At the time, my salary
was more than his, yet she insisted on telling everyone that I was
a "clerical worker and no virgin" (more on this another
time too). After the ceremony my DH's parents and brother (best
man) refused to get into the receiving line. Next, my FIL would
not perform the traditional dance with me by authoritatively intoning,
"I wouldn't dance with you if someone held a gun to my head."
Seeing the awkward situation, one of my coworkers quickly stepped
forward to dance with me, while my DH squired my DM around the dance
floor. Then, we noticed that my DH's family had actually moved
the furniture, in a very formal setting, so that most of the lovely
wing-backed chairs were in a circle. All 27 of them sat glumly
staring into space, while speaking to no one, not even each other.
My MIL's mother, a truly kind and wonderful woman, who was totally
ignored by her own daughter (my MIL) before she died, told us that
my FIL told the family to "Get into a circle, ignore our guests,
and speak to no one." When it came time to make the toast
to the bride and groom, before cutting the cake, my DH's best man
(my BIL) refused to leave the circle, as my DH and I stood patiently
waiting at the cake table. Another coworker of mine stepped
forward to make the toast. At midnight, when we left the reception,
my DH's entire family remained in their circle while everyone else
threw birdseed and wished us well. The best man (BIL) had refused
to bring our car around, but we did not know it, so we had to walk
quite a distance in order to leave. When we got to the car,
my dear BIL had decorated it with spray paint which stated, "Seven
year plan, no virgin here." We got back to my DH's home
(now mine, too) and he said to me, "Well I showed them!"
I responded with, "What do you mean?" He smiled a
sick little grin and answered, "They hate you so much that they
sent my brother (the best man) to the house this morning to order
me to leave you at the altar, or I will be disinherited. Ha!
Ha, Ha!" I felt squeamish and said, "You're 35 years
old and you used me because you finally got the balls to rebel against
your parents like a teenager?" He just smiled at me, like
the Cheshire cat in ALICE in WONDERLAND. I was 10 years younger
than him, yet I already sensed my life was going to be much different
than I ever expected, or wanted it, to be.
Signed - He Kept Me Away
From Them
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- DILoftheGruesomeTwosome, 2 of 4 needed/Posted:
10-JUN-06
My second story begins when my DH and I returned
from a beautiful wonderfully romantic honeymoon in Europe. After
my IL's behaving so outrageously at our lovely wedding, where my BIL
was my DH's best man, all was forgotten. We returned to the
U.S., like most honeymooners, madly in love and relaxed. This
lasted for three days. Then, MIL informed my DH, by telephone,
that my BIL was coming to our city for a job interview. She
told DH to proffer an invitation to his brother to stay with us at
our home while he was in town. It was fine with me, and I was
confident that once my BIL got to know me he would see that I was
a normal person, and that his older brother had found the happiness
which had eluded him during the years he grew up with my ILs.
My DH had to leave on Sunday afternoon for a business trip to the
west coast, but my BIL would arrive Sunday morning. I would
take him for his interview on Monday and drop him off at the airport
for his flight back home. BIL had gone through medical school
on an ROTC scholarship, had graduated, married the daughter of the
school dean, had a child exactly nine months later (as my ILs had
requested), had completed his internship, and was one year into his
military commitment, which he hated. He wanted to come to our
city to continue his military commitment at an army hospital world
renown for a particular field; hence, the job interview. BIL's
wife was, again, pregnant (8 months) because the ILs were displeased
that the first GC was a female, and demanded a "redo".
BIL arrived. I took DH to the airport to catch a flight for
his business trip, and returned home to cook dinner for his brother.
BIL was popping pain pills because he had a broken arm, and demanded
that I fix him a drink. I told him that as a physician, he should
know that alcohol and prescription medication did not mix. He
called me a "__ damned know-it-all b!tch", pushed a chair
over to the pantry, stood on it, and retrieved a gallon of gin from
the top shelf. I chose to ignore him, served him dinner, and
announced that I was retiring for the evening. He grabbed my
arm in a tight grip and I became frightened. BIL told me that
I "owed" him "sex". I was horrified and
afraid. He expounded that since I was not a virgin when I got
married, according to his DM, and because his wife was currently 8
months pregnant and was "looking like an ugly basketball",
he was "horny" and wanted to have "sex" with a
"hot little slut". He was angry that his wife was
pregnant so soon after the first child, but said that he had no choice
because the "stupid b!tch" had a girl, and his parents wanted
only "grandsons to carry on the family name". I was
not a doctor like him, but even I knew that men determine the sex
of a child. I wrenched away from him, grabbed the cordless kitchen
phone, locked myself in our bedroom, pushed furniture in front of
the door, prayed, and tried to convince myself that he was drunk and
hopped up on pills. I just knew that everything would be all
right in the morning. I would tell my DH what had occurred,
but I would forget it as far as the rest of the family was concerned.
He was probably operating in an alcoholic blackout, and would not
remember any of it himself. WRONG!!! He pounded on the
bedroom door until he either passed out or gave up. I neither
knew nor cared which. The next morning I was making breakfast
for him before taking him to his job interview. I had taken
a day of my own annual leave from my job in order to accomplish this.
He came upstairs and said, "I need your help with this."
When I turned around, he was standing in his underwear, with his pants
over his arm. There was also the unmistakable bulge of a fully
engorged penis. I dropped the spatula, ran to the bedroom, and
locked the door. I had forgotten the telephone, and was afraid
that if I jumped out the second story window, he would run out and
catch me. Our home was 1/4 mile from the road and set on two
acres, with woods separating us from the other properties in the neighborhood.
I wanted to cry, but I had read that rape is about power, not sex,
and the perpetrator is more aroused if he perceives that his victim
as weak. I sat on my bed, shaking and praying. He stood
outside the door demanding, and then finally pleading for intercourse.
Finally, he told me that if I would just give him "oral sex",
he would not hold my being a "whore" against me. An
hour went by, and he came back to the door demanding that I take him
to his interview. He became angry when I refused to come out
and yelled that I was going to make him late, as well as ruin his
chances of getting the position at the hospital that he wanted.
I wanted him as far away from me as possible. Finally, I told
him to go outside, where I could see him, and get into the passenger's
side of my DH's car. After he did what I said, I went out, got
into the car, and sped to the hospital where his interview was taking
place. After the interview I drove him straight to the airport,
even though it was several hours early for his flight. I drove
up in front of the airport. He would not get out of the car.
I turned the engine off, went to the passenger door, pulled him out
of the car, opened the trunk, threw his suitcase on the ground, shut
everything, got back into the driver's seat, and saw his briefcase
laying on the back seat. I threw it out of the car window.
The last thing he said to me as I drove away was, "You blew a
chance to #$% a doctor!" I drove home, sobbing and
shaking like a leaf. When my DH came back from out of town,
I lit into him for not telling me that his brother was a sexual deviant.
He responded, "He was only 11 when I left home. You know
that I never went back. How am I supposed to know what he is
like?" I wanted him to call his brother and stand up for
me. He was afraid of making his mother and father angry.
DH justified my BIL's behavior by saying, "Well, I did hear that
when he was in high school, he proposed marriage to every girl who
ever went out with him. SIL was just the first one to say "yes".
He can't help it if he isn't good looking. I think that's why
he probably tried. He knew that he had nothing to lose if you
wouldn't cooperate." Many, many years later, when my MIL
was trying to force a reunion with our children and BIL and his wife,
I told her the whole story so that she would know why we did not want
to be around him. MIL informed me that she had always known
what he had done, and she had suggested it to him as a "test"
to see if I was faithful to my DH because she knew that I was "a
slut". Sick! Sick! Sick! By the way,
he got the job and moved to our city a few months later. More
to follow on this.
Signed - Sick! Sick!
Sick!
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- DILoftheGruesomeTwosome, 3 of 4 needed/Posted:
10-JUN-06
Story number three takes up where the second
one left off. After attempting to rape me the previous night,
BIL got the job that he interviewed for. He and his lovely family
of two girls, and the usual eight month bun in his wife's uterus came
to live in our city. SIL had to be constantly pregnant because
BIL was charged with the responsibility from his parents to provide
a male heir. My DH and I found it humorous because the ILs were
so provincial. They wanted a male heir and a male spare.
The two girls were to be completely ignored, especially when it came
to inheritance. MIL could not hide her glee every time she called
me to tell me that SIL was ready to pop another one out, as well as
how upset SIL's parents (salt of the earth type people) were that
she was having all of these babies. She hated taking care of
the girls because, even in her eyes, they were worthless. She
would never get the IL's money if she could not have two boys.
The ILs were desperate to keep BIL and SIL's marriage together because
although she had been adopted by a doctor and his wife, her stepmother
was a member of the DAR, allowing her to be in the Junior League and
the DAR. Therefore, the IL's would spend a month with BIL and
family in the fall and in the Spring so that DSIL could go away to
a spa. Since we lived in the same area, the ILs would show up
for Christmas at SIL and BIL's home. MIL would call and whisper
a message on our answering machine saying, "Shhhh! DH and
I have been in town at her son and DIL's house, but don't tell _______
we are here because then she will want to see us." MIL
was of such a narcissistic personality, as well as being passive/aggressive.
She really believed that I was desperate to be "in the family".
DH would struggle over to BIL's house to see the ILs every Christmas
Eve for three years. I was considered a threat to the children
because, as MIL told everyone, "She's a slut." DH
would come back so angry and stressed after an evening with all of
these people, ruining Christmas, New Years Eve and New Years Day.
One Christmas Eve DH told me that I was invited to go to dinner with
them. We met at a restaurant, where my FIL began a soliloquy
as to all the skills that SIL had acquired during her summers at exclusive
camps. I listened and steadfastly refused to give the reaction
that he was going for - until the "skeet shooting."
"DIL," FIL intoned, "is an expert at skeet shooting."
At this point I'd had just about had enough. I responded with,
"Well, you never know when one might be attacked by a clay disc.
Certainly, skeet shooting is a life skill no one can do without.
Since she went to school in order to marry a doctor, it warms my heart
to know she has such a practical skill." This was followed
by silence, an immediate paying of the bill (divided up so that everyone
would pay his or her share), and a departing in our separate cars.
DH went with them to the house. I drove home by myself.
This entry sounds catty, but believe me, SIL is just as bad as all
the ILs. The people who raised her were wonderful and always
kind to my DH and me. My ILs successfully got her to break from
the wonderful people who raised her. My MIL used to always tell
me that she and SIL believed that one could never be "too rich
or too thin". When SIL's parents had to move to a retirement
home, they gave their home to SIL's biological brother, whom they
had also adopted. SIL's brother was learning disabled and had
a wife and child, yet he did not have one mean bone in his body.
My MIL told me how angry SIL was when her parents gave him their home.
SIL had already come into an inheritance from an aunt that was worth
millions, and was married to a doctor. I told MIL that if my
sister had not done well and I had done okay, I would want her to
take my mother's home when the time came. She replied, "You
don't know how the wealthy think." I asked her just how
much money did SIL needed to be happy. There was no answer.
I heard a swishing of skirts and a slamming of a door.
Signed - MIL Narcissistic
As Well As Passive/Aggressive
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- DILoftheGruesomeTwosome, 4 of 4 needed/Posted:
11-JUN-06
The wedding gift that we received from my wealthy
ILs was not to be forgotten, and they made sure of this fact.
First, my DH's brother and SIL were married five years before we were.
At that time my FILs owned an ocean going sailing yacht, with five
staterooms and a full-time crew. To get the maximum benefit
from their boat, they leased it to a company in the Bahamas as a rental
for vacationers of means. Not only did they receive revenue
from the lease company, the yacht was also a tax write-off.
To give you an idea of the magnitude of their floating vacation home,
seven years after the FILs bought it, the leasing company turned it
down for an eighth year because the ship was so large that no one
could afford to rent it anymore due to a downturn in the economy.
However, the ILs had just gotten it when DF's brother and his lovely
SIL were married. The ILs gave them a new huge color TV in a
cabinet, $20,000 cash, and two weeks on the crewed yacht, sailing
through the Caribbean. Their generosity was overwhelming, and,
of course, they made sure that the 500 guests at the wedding (only
closest friends and family, of course) knew. At the time, I
thought advertising their own generosity to the newlywed couple was
a bit tacky, but I soon berated myself for thinking so because the
ILs were so excited and happy. Fast forward five years.
By this time I had known the ILs long enough, although my FDH kept
us as far as part as possible, to know that they both (but especially
my MIL) had a deep-seated hatred of their oldest son, my DH.
Since I shared the story of our wedding in a previous posting, I'll
get straight to the gift. My new ILs gave us one bowl to our
everyday china pattern - the cost: $2.99, with no sales tax because
they lived in a sales tax free state. What did I do? I
sent them a warm hearted thank you note, like I sent everyone else
who was generous enough to bring a gift to the wedding. It would
be 10 years of my bending over backwards to please the witch before
I learned the expression "passive-aggressive", and realized
that "toxic parents" become "toxic ILs."
Twenty-three years later, while doing genealogical research, I finally
discovered why both ILs were so mean to us, as well as why MIL hated
my DH so deeply and thoroughly. However, that's another story,
and is it a good one!
Signed - Bowled Over
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- DILoftheGruesomeTwosome/Posted:
11-JUN-06
My DH got something without a return address.
It was hand-addressed, in his brother's writing (it is very distinctive.
It was addressed to "Uncle X Y", not "Mr. and Mrs.
X Y". No note or letter was enclosed, just a preprinted
form asking for donations for a high-school's baseball field.
It was from "Z Y" (our nephew). Again, it was unmistakably
my BIL's writing. Although we have been married for 23 years
and have a 10 and 12 year old ourselves, none of us have ever met
"Z", or his brother and two sisters, who have all finished
college. At one time they only lived five miles from us.
MIL and FIL visited them two months a year, but we were never invited
to see any of them. For two years after our nephew was born,
we were not even made aware of his name. I bought, wrapped,
and sent Xmas gifts, at DH's behest, and wrote, "Youngest Y Boy"
on the card, and signed it from both DH and myself. DH has not
even seen BIL in 12 years, nor has BIL called. MIL put BIL up
to this. If DH sends a donation, then she will claim that it
proves DH wants to take part in the dysfunctional family reunion that
she has been trying to force for 10 years. She refuses to see
us or our children unless rapist BIL and family are included.
If he sends nothing, BIL will tell her that DH is mean, even though
we would not know this teenager from a complete stranger. BIL
and family will inherit millions. DH couldn't care less, but
BIL is insecure because MIL keeps him on his toes by threatening to
leave it elsewhere. What a bunch of loonies! Comments
and advice are always welcome.
Signed - What A Bunch Of
Loonies!
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