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Mother-In-Law Stories
Frequent Fry Her
TM
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Ballet Chick
Age: 44    MIL Age: 60+

How Life was With the Crazies
But It's Better Now

frequent fry her - balletchick Frequent Fry Her TM - balletchick, 1 of 4 needed/Posted: 26-JUN-08
We took a trip up north to visit DH's family when DD was just turning 3.  MIL and FIL were divorced years earlier, and both remarried.  So, we had to go back and forth between places, about half an hour apart.  Deceased FIL's family is a whole other story.  I digress.  Our older DD (mine from my 1st marriage) was also with us.  It was a 20+ hour drive over two days.  We arrived on the second day at dinner time at MIL's.  Two long days in the car with a 13 year old and a newly potty trained almost 3 year old.  Five minutes after we walked into the house, DH and little DD walked out to the back porch.  I excused myself to the restroom.  The next thing I knew, MIL's $2500 dog had grabbed a hold of my DD's ear and chewed a huge laceration into my precious child's head.  There was screaming and crying.  DH was in a total panic, as was I.  We were exhausted from the trip.  My older DD was scared out of her mind.  There was bleeding and cartilage and crying.  DH had little DD in his arms.  He was running to the car, expecting me to drive in a town that I was TOTALLY unfamiliar with.  I yelled at him to get in the driver's side and take us to the hospital.  I'd hold DD.  DH snapped out of it and we all went.  MIL was acting, the whole time, like it was no big deal and we were overreacting.  No emotion.  We got to the hospital.  The ER physician looked at my baby and asked us if he could have permission to sedate her to stitch her.  Then he asked for a plastic surgeon.  We, of course, gave permission.  They gave little DD a sedative in a medicine cup.  The next thing we knew, her head was rolling around on her shoulders.  She couldn't hold it up.  She looked like a total drunken sailor, my poor baby.  Older DD was a wreck, but doing well, holding it together for little one.  DH was a wreck, too.  I was trying to keep it together.  The plastic surgeon arrived.  DD got 13 stitches, 6 inside, 7 outside.  We're told that if the bite had been 1/16 of an inch on either side, DD would have had a lopsided (one side up, one side down) smile, as the nerve would have been cut that controls the smile.  I, at this point, wanted to knock my MIL out and do worse to the dog.  DD had a bandage that went under her chin, over the ear, and all round her head, and was put on 10 days of antibiotics.  We were trying to get the insurance to work, etc., etc.  We were told to come back before we left (in a week or so) to have the stitches removed.  DH still, at that time, deferred to his family, and so we spent the next week+ up there with stitches and dressings and antibiotics, sleeping on couches and the like.  So fun.  The best part? We got back to MIL's several hours later.  She had spoken to my mom, via phone, and told her that things were a little "intense".  Then, she said to us, "Oh, you don't want me to put the dog down, do you?  SFIL would just not be able to take it."  Real concern for the GD there.  She then said that she'll take care of the medical bills, because it's always about the dollar.  I agree.  So the dog was spared, and had to stay outside in her 10 foot kennel, poor thing, while we were there.  We found out later that it had bitten two other people (SIL included) before our DD.  I told my DH that if I had been there when it happened, that dog would not have survived the wrath of mama bear.  When we went to see FIL the next day and they saw DD all bandaged up, he was very angry.  He told us that he would have dispensed of that dog immediately.  He wasn't fond of his X and now I know why.  Both ILs lived on farms.  This was my first indication of how cold my MIL really was.

        Signed - The "Intense" DIL
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frequent fry her - balletchick Frequent Fry Her TM - balletchick, 2 of 4 needed/Posted: 2-JUL-08
DH and I went to counseling several summers ago to try to learn how to handle NMIL and the manipulation that came from her.  This is the MIL who loves my evil, deceptive SIL, who has cheated on my BIL countless times.  MIL still defends her over my own DH, even after the affairs, the paternity question, and the "suicide" attempts.  There is mental illness there, but also outright evil.  MIL says that DH and I are filled with rage and anger, because we don't want to be around SIL and BIL.  Anyway, we had stopped seeing SIL and BIL because, first, we couldn't handle SIL's lies and deception any longer while the family believed her, and, second, SIL and BIL's relationship was so unhealthy that it was just way too uncomfortable to be around.  DH told his mother, about 4 years ago, to please stay out of our business with BIL and SIL (BIL is DH's brother).  MIL had been trying to get us together.  She told DH, "SIL really wants to come to your DD's ballet recital," and that we should invite her (she was paying a portion of the classes, and felt that she had a right).  She bragged about how good SIL was to DH's GM, after I was the one who had taken GM to get groceries weekly for over a year.  That's another post.  SIL slithered in to help GM with groceries, after her second breakup from BIL, and she used it as an opportunity to continue her affair, we found out later.  Back to MIL.  DH set the boundary with MIL in the fall, asking her to please refrain from trying to get us together, etc., etc.  Well, guess what happened that Christmas?  MIL sent our presents to BIL and SIL's house so that we would have to get together with them to get them!!!!!  She's evil!  SIL, the master manipulator, did not tell us that they were there, and my DD did not get her present until after Christmas because of it.  SIL and BIL both told MIL that they thought we were going to Auntie's house Christmas Eve to get them, when both DH and I had told them each three times that we would not be there.  More lies, and SIL uses BIL to carry out her lies as well.  It is awful.  MIL feigned innocence, saying that she didn't have another box and she was in a hurry, so shipping in one box was easier for her.  DH told her that, next time, if she didn't have a box, she should wait till she did, or not send any presents at all!  She didn't like that!  But, that was good for him to do, and he was learning to speak up to her!  This incensed her.  She was losing control.  However, one month later, she purchased theater tickets "for a surprise" for us, without asking if we could go.  The tickets were for the same night that SIL and BIL were going with the evil auntie (MIL's sister), who lives in town.  We were all to be seated in the same row.  MIL lives far up north.  Not only could we not go because it was a school night for DD, but DH had an early meeting 4 hours away the next a.m..  We were flaming mad that she tried again to get us together with the other crazies.  Then, she played the victim when we told auntie that we wouldn't be able to join them.  We wouldn't have gone anyway, because of the game playing.  Thankfully, we haven't seen MIL in almost two years, but she still sends shaming emails and mail every now and then.  She just sent more garbage to DH for Father's Day:  A shaming book with teachings opposite of our faith, disguised as "a gift".  She's toxic.  It has been very painful.  She has said vicious things about both DH and me, and we are just thankful to be away from her and have our kids away from her.  But, she still keeps popping up in nasty ways.  I just need some healing time, and she doesn't go away.

        Signed - She Won't Take No for an Answer
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frequent fry her - balletchick Frequent Fry Her TM - balletchick, 3 of 4 needed/Posted: 1-AUG-08
MIL is very outspoken about her political beliefs.  She told DH that she couldn't believe that he was a (certain political party), and that he wasn't raised that way.  All "joking", of course.  Not.  Soon after the last presidential election, MIL started in on me, as well.  She emailed a political joke, just to me.  It was not copied to a group, but to me only.  It was one you'd send to people of like beliefs, not to the opposite party.  The joke was about the idiots who voted for (name of my candidate).  MIL already knew our affiliation, as stated above.  This "joke" said that you had the IQ of a moron, if you had voted for this person.  Nice.  Insult your DIL.  We ignored her, till she sent another email, nastier than the first, wanting to know why she hadn't heard from DH in a couple of weeks.  He wrote her back, saying that he felt that what she had done was rude.  She fired back with, "Oh, it was only a joke.  I thought it was hilarious, and you, DW, just need to Get Over It."  I'm so glad we're cut off.

        Signed - But She Was Only Joking
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frequent fry her - balletchick Frequent Fry Her TM - balletchick, 4 of 4 needed/Posted: 27-AUG-08
Since we're starting to think about the holidays, I remembered this gem.  We decided, even before the cut off, to do our own holidays after the year of the terrible tsunami.  We gave money in each of the family member's names to a worldwide charity that feeds and clothes homeless and disaster victims.  NMIL sent a famous email after Christmas saying that she wouldn't have bothered sending *us* presents, if she had known we were *only* donating money in her name, and not *even* to a charity she supported.  She does not support disaster victims?  Huh?  She then stated that the next year she'd just make a large donation to the Blank National Party (the opposite of the one we vote for), in lieu of presents for us, and be done with it.  That next year we got a card from evil Auntie, too, saying she was donating to a "save the animals" fund in our name, with a picture of a squirrel on it, crazy SIL's favorite animal.  MIL sent our presents to SIL and BIL, although she had been told several times by DH to stay out of our business with them.  Whoever signs, "Life's too short to be stuck in toxic goo", is my hero!  We now spend Christmas together as a family.  DH, our kids, and I.  We see my mom also.  She has been widowed for ten years now, and we enjoy her company.  Holidays are about our little family and the people who love and care about us, not about the toxic goo any longer!

        Signed - No More Holidays with the Toxins
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